I am now in my... lessee... it's Thursday, right? I am now in my fourth day (of seven) of formal mourning for my brother, who took his life this past weekend.

With all due respect for the late gentleman, I am tired of this ritual. I've done most of my short-term mourning already and this isn't helping me with the long-term mourning in the least. I can put up with staying at my parents' home instead of in my apartment, for a whole week. I can put up with three services a day conducted in my parents' living room. I can put up with sitting on low stools instead of chairs, forgoing leather shoes and wearing sandals instead, you know? But for heaven's sake, can it be over now? I don't want to wait until Sunday. :<

If you have advices on how to not go insane due to lack of interest in or ability to sleep right now (2:15 AM) and the need to get up every day of this week at 6 instead of my usual 9 - yes, I know, unemployed except for tutoring, don't give me crap about this - I welcome your suggestions.

I won't even be able to cuddle with my fiancee for another two months, and that's bugging me as much as the lack of sleep and the irritability about early-morning services.