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Epic of thunder you there! alas we stop
15 years ago
Giggles and Pages
Tonight one of my best friends got dumped. It made me sad for her…he did it online too which made me want to spray cheese whip all over the punk and then feed him to dieting Wisconsinites. Why do people do that, break up online? And even worse, try to defend breaking up with someone online? I mean that’s like checking out of Wal-Mart with depends in your cart and telling the clerk that the baby you have at home is abnormally large. The Guy that buried my friend’s heart in shards of glass had this odd addiction to his x-box it was one of those, play first, breath later kinda things….. He was what society call’s a gamer. This stands for Guy Allowing Machines Excessive Ruling. Because basically that is exactly what it is. Men loose control over their lives so they little by little begin to let video games rule their lives…..particularly relationships….
10 Stages of Men’s Relationships becoming Ruled by the Game world
1. PAC MAN stage (1)- Like our Evil friends Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde the male shall chase the woman around the maze(aka the world) until he can finally just touch his obsession.
2. The Pong stage- You both keep chipping away at the walls ping ponging back and forth until you break them down and can start a real relationship
3. The Tetris stage- you build and build on your relationship…(just be careful you don’t go overboard)
4. The Mario games 1, 3 stage- Mario just wants to be romantic and save his princess shower her with beautiful things and be overly obsessively nice
5. The Centipede Stage- You and Her are attached and keep adding to your relationship and making the Centipede bigger and bigger….eventually driving both parties crazy!
6. Mario (Yoshi’s World Stage)- Mario starts spending more time with his green friend yoshi (aka the Xbox circle) than his girlfriend….
7. The SIMS stage- He begins getting frustrated and so he starts setting himself up for failure like building rooms with no doors trapping your Sim inside with a stove and a fireplace. In the boys case this would be like asking your girlfriend to come over while you play video games and asking her to watch a movie…
8. PAC MAN stage(2)- Male resorts back to his roots only to let his inner Blinky/pinky/inky/clyde to become bipolar on other party , and run from girl wildly!
9. World of War stage: (Hopefully it doesn’t get to this stage) You try to kill each other
10. GAME OVER
I hope this is starting to clear up my frustration with boys of this century. So many are like this, almost as if they were programmed. Ha ha , FUN THOUGHT…..boys with little chips….that means if we found the remote…we would be in control!…..VICTORY LADIES! We could finally show boys what it is like to Wax our eyebrows, or wear a skirt on a windy day, or try to tan and read at the same time!
Ahem anyways….
I want it known that I do not have qualms with this boy who broke up with my friend. I mean I went through the viciously angry stage where I wanted to tape thumbtacks to his face but alas breakups happen. I think there are better ways to
do it but they do happen.
Tonight one of my best friends got dumped. It made me sad for her…he did it online too which made me want to spray cheese whip all over the punk and then feed him to dieting Wisconsinites. Why do people do that, break up online? And even worse, try to defend breaking up with someone online? I mean that’s like checking out of Wal-Mart with depends in your cart and telling the clerk that the baby you have at home is abnormally large. The Guy that buried my friend’s heart in shards of glass had this odd addiction to his x-box it was one of those, play first, breath later kinda things….. He was what society call’s a gamer. This stands for Guy Allowing Machines Excessive Ruling. Because basically that is exactly what it is. Men loose control over their lives so they little by little begin to let video games rule their lives…..particularly relationships….
10 Stages of Men’s Relationships becoming Ruled by the Game world
1. PAC MAN stage (1)- Like our Evil friends Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde the male shall chase the woman around the maze(aka the world) until he can finally just touch his obsession.
2. The Pong stage- You both keep chipping away at the walls ping ponging back and forth until you break them down and can start a real relationship
3. The Tetris stage- you build and build on your relationship…(just be careful you don’t go overboard)
4. The Mario games 1, 3 stage- Mario just wants to be romantic and save his princess shower her with beautiful things and be overly obsessively nice
5. The Centipede Stage- You and Her are attached and keep adding to your relationship and making the Centipede bigger and bigger….eventually driving both parties crazy!
6. Mario (Yoshi’s World Stage)- Mario starts spending more time with his green friend yoshi (aka the Xbox circle) than his girlfriend….
7. The SIMS stage- He begins getting frustrated and so he starts setting himself up for failure like building rooms with no doors trapping your Sim inside with a stove and a fireplace. In the boys case this would be like asking your girlfriend to come over while you play video games and asking her to watch a movie…
8. PAC MAN stage(2)- Male resorts back to his roots only to let his inner Blinky/pinky/inky/clyde to become bipolar on other party , and run from girl wildly!
9. World of War stage: (Hopefully it doesn’t get to this stage) You try to kill each other
10. GAME OVER
I hope this is starting to clear up my frustration with boys of this century. So many are like this, almost as if they were programmed. Ha ha , FUN THOUGHT…..boys with little chips….that means if we found the remote…we would be in control!…..VICTORY LADIES! We could finally show boys what it is like to Wax our eyebrows, or wear a skirt on a windy day, or try to tan and read at the same time!
Ahem anyways….
I want it known that I do not have qualms with this boy who broke up with my friend. I mean I went through the viciously angry stage where I wanted to tape thumbtacks to his face but alas breakups happen. I think there are better ways to
do it but they do happen.
I've dodge people before to stay at home to play video games, but thats because I didn't feel like going out .. Cause of my depression/anti-social blehness.. But I would never skip out on something important or ignore my bf/gf if I had one ^^