To be honest I'm blaming it on that I've been avoiding a lot recently.

Family wise everything is... well how it's been for the past year almost.

Socially wise, I'm avoiding a lot of "normal social contact" and I really don't know what to do about it.

School wise, I haven't set foot in a classroom in over 6 months but I have been working on my schoolwork. Also I'm taking Gr 12 Math during July for Summer School. (Hoping I don't go crazy in it)

I should be getting paid from a temp job that I got through family. Thus I'm getting a PS3 with a PS2 from a guy for $400 with 8 PS2 games and about 6 PS3 games.

There's been a lot on my mind, and even more that I've been avoiding.

I'm not looking forward to this summer, lots of drama is going to be on my end whether I want it or not.

July 5th my "step-aunt" from england is coming over. My poppa (who married my nan 1 or 2 years after his wife and my grandfather died when I was about 2 or 3.) has Alzheimer (sp?) which has made him forget... pretty much everything. My nan is 80 and only last year she had put in in a "nursing" home so he could be better taken care of, it was one of the hardest decisions she made. I don't know what to do. I want to get involved. But.. it's only because I care about people's feelings, not the people themselves in this case. Anyways the reason my step aunt is coming is to check on my poppa's will, which by now cannot be changed... he's too out of it now...

My nan has to move funds to her account that are her's from the joint account she has with him before he dies... otherwise my step aunt will challenge the will and cause my nan not to have any money to survive off of.

I've never been close to poppa... But.. I hate it how my step aunt is going to treat him in his memory and how she's going to bring all of this drama.

I hate to say this but I doubt he'll live that much longer than this summer... The doctors said last year he shouldn't last longer than a few months last year, the clock for the drama is ticking and part of me just wants to be there for my nan.

I don't like how my aunt treats my nan, she may be tough and she may of married her father quickly but I don't believe she's given my nan a fair chance nor understands how much my poppa meant to her. My nan and (great) aunt shirley are very alike in situations even though one's in the canary island's (my great aunt) and one's in the toronto/scarbrough area. Both of them cared very much for their husbands. My grat aunt is currently caring for my uncle don, if I had the money... I'd visit her so that she could see me again... The last time she saw me was when I was around 2 or 4 but she has always sent me a christmas card, birthday and she's always been positive towards me.

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o_o wow... Lol I just had a big rant... and thank you to anyone who reads all of this journal post... I guess this has just been bumming me out ever since I saw my nan last week... and I guess since I heard from my mom that my poppa had another stroke on monday.

I just want him to die peacefully... For how much him and my nan were involved in my younger days, and how happy he was to get the chance of having grandchildren by marrying my nan..

Anyways. bye