the only reason im writing this on here is because i think ill feel better if i write stuff down will make me feel better. So reading this isnt really necessary.

Anyway just thought id write down what ive been feeling lately. I guess the biggest feeling is that, i feel empty, like this inate part of me just got ripped out and is a million miles away from me. i still have all this love for him dying to get out of me, but if seems like it stops at this brick wall the moment it leaves my body.

its weird... i never expected that i could be this crushed by a break up before. i never would have expected id be this torn. i guess its because theres still a chance for us to be together again, because he still loves me, and obviously i still love him. but.. i just dont know.

my mind is blurr. ill just be going along throughout the day and then something will make me think about him. even something as simple as a car ride, or just lying on the couch. seems like everything i do makes me think about him. i dont want this to go away.. especially since theres still a chance.. allbeit small but its still there.

i hope im not obsessing, i should think not. i mean i love him. with every part of me. wouldnt you think that someone would do anything for someone they love? maybe my mind is in shambles. i dont know.. i dont know what to think much these days..




Future note... probably gonna be more of thses journals later on