I wake up sometimes and feel an ache between my shoulders, like something's missing.
My dream is to feel whole, whatever's missing, I really would like it back.

is it a physical ache, or more of a feeling within yourself?

Both.
There's an ache, with a deep feeling inside like there's something that should be there that's not... and that's why it aches.
Rolling my shoulder blades seems to help... it almost feels like flexing what's not there that should be.

Whatever it is, I likely won't bother wishing for it, as it will likely be taken away, again...... it hurts to write that ,but it has been true for me, many times.

Hm, would that mean your wish would be for happiness?

it likely is. what made me truly happy was stripped away, and can't be returned.....

*hugs for no reason other than to hug*

Duh...to be Jade-Scale...but on a more emo note...to find true love...and not be stabbed in the back later.

If you were your fursona tomorrow and woke up being the perfect image and functionality of them, what would you do?

That would depend if everyone else was still human. I'd go to furry conventions and let people pull at my scales to see if it's real. People would buy me drinks, and get me drunk off my tail, and whatever happens there, I don't care...racially I'm immune to disease and poison...so...

Did you see the guy who got surgeries to look like a lizard man?

He's hideous, and an idiot.

Hehehe. You want surgery too though, but different, right?

Sketeal, muscle-recon, and organ/blood transfusion. I want to be a cold-blooded reptile, not look like a green-faced tongue-split freak.

I need to show you some photos of my babies sometime (reptiles I keep) I think you'd enjoy them

Most definately! I used to be the Reptile CAS at Petco... (Certified Animal Specialist) and I could tell you wonderous tales if you'd ever want to hear.

As long as none of the tales involved the harm of the babies there, I stopped going to petco for supplies and other things years ago because the ones here do everything wrong with it comes to the herps and it broke my heart constantly, I would even call the animal report number but nothing got done. Sigh.

On a seperate note, being held in a cradle hold is my ultimate weakness that just makes me swoon, but shh, don't tell anyone that =3

I prefer to keep only the good memories of working for Petco in my head. I'll tell you all about it sometime, but for now. I assult you with me in Red Ruff: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/573569/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/573566/

I'm a simple person, I just want to live my life with a special someone who is honest, kind and adventurous to be by my side for the rest of it and love unconditionally. Maybe publish a children's book or two and explore different parts of the natural world. Thinking outside of the actual realistic possibilities of the future is nice, but I think most of my dreams can be achieved in this world, besides... true love seems rather a fantasy-like goal in itself.

Hah! Isn't that the truth! But those are all very noble things, and I'm glad that the things you want are realistic to this world, because it means you can achieve them if you devote yourself to it

ill give this a shot.
I want to give my story that ive been kicking around a life, I want to fully create a comic of it, or video game format of it, putting my heart and soul into the project because thats my baby, To come home to a person whom I fully love and trust and lay down happily knowing my kids are fast asleep and will not be on the streets tommorrow or on drugs, and to peacfully die in my sleep and not horribly, at the old age of 82.


and if nothing else can be accomplished ill settle for not being killed in a horribly painfull long death anytime.. that works to.. HAHAHA XD

Hm, if I ever win the lottery, I'll buy you a permanent bodyguard for life so you can have a peaceful old man death. Of course, that might just attract attention and make people think you're someone important enough to be knocked off, which would then lead to people actually trying to..so maybe you shouldn't have a bodyguard after all XD

Will you settle for kissing my forhead and smiling, and a white cake or yellow?

A kiss on the forehead and a home-made cake is something I can do = D

kick so much ass. thankies n.n. while you do that ill prolly rest my weary head on the table and sleep :3.

Why a table, when there's a luscious sofa?!

Rather be near a person :3.

Have a horse ranch.

Oh that's a great one! Actually I've looked into that, myself, and it's believe it or not, financially EASIER to accomplish than it is to mortgage a house, and you get an agricultural break on your taxes

Really? Neato. I'd probably be a crappy owner though. :[

What makes you say that? Me and my sister in law have a horsey, we stable her for free in exchange for letting the ranch owners give lessons to students on riding using her

I dunno, I'd be worried that with work and stuff that I wouldn't be able to devote enough time to taking care of the horses, or being able to see them often enough.

Realistically I'd wish I was a different person, more so to the extent that I had not been the way I was or done the things to get me much of the stress I have today. It would even be nice not to care what other people thought all of the time, but I do. One unobtainable goal of mine would be to be good at what I've always wanted to do, but I have very poor motivation and I'm easily put down, never satisfied with myself. As much as I try I feel like I have been going nowhere with it where I otherwise could be.

With your writing?

While I am good at writing, I do not appreciate it, nor enjoy it. The real thing happens to be a topic that I'm obsessed with to a fault. Can't be hard to guess >.>;

Being able to draw Chaosie?

More like just drawing in general. As frivilous as it sounds its been something I've always wanted to be able to do but to me it seems like a remarkably unrealistic goal. You have no idea how bad I obsess over lines on paper >.> my life doesn't give me all that much time to devote to it either, and when I devote, it consumes all of my time. Nobody can find themselves happy under those conditions unless maybe they really enjoyed it and at least got decent results for their effort. Maybe I'm just not committed enough? That could be a reason why its an unrealistic goal for me, but I get depressed easily, and that certainly doesn't help things.

i,ve always dreamed of being a antiques dealer having a huge house in the country with lots of land so i could have horses and also raise scottish highland cattle and alpacas and have irish wolfhounds as well as afghans and salukis and a collection of classic cars

Dang dude! That's a killer assortment of breeds to maintain, and quite an awesome collection of goals. I wouldn't be able to be an antiques dealer, though, because I would never want to part with my beauties, hehe

I want... cookies!

It shall be done!

I have some cookies, and your art deserves them *hands him a cookie*.

Merci for the cookie =3

I'm greedy. I want everything.

No, seriously, everything. I want to have it all - everything I've ever wanted. Health, wealth, prestige, looks, talent... hell, why not throw eternal youth into the mix? heh.

I want to be able to do anything, buy anything, go anywhere... to live in the lap of utter luxury, surrounded by beautiful things and not having to worry anymore, and I want to be able to give that life to my loved ones, too - my mother especially, because she deserves it after all that garbage she's been through.

So, yeah... everything... Because I'm sick of having next to nothing.

Hm! Being an old world goddess would fit the bill of all those things

I suppose XD That would definitely work for me!

Haha! Could you pass a cloud my way to lounge on with you?

So, what can i say..... jepp I give up on my goals. The only wish i have is, to die before I do something really bad. I know im hopeless!

Naw you're not hopeless, I have hopes for you =)

You are too friendly to me! Besides, you do not know me at all. Who knows if i am worth to be considered. Possibly that I am crazy and i am certain nobody wants to deal with a maniac. One of the reasons why I concluded with my wishes.

I think that every human life is worth something, even those who others would label as too far gone, and that there is always something to be redeemed in any human being, but whether or not it can be is a choice of the person themselves

"a choice of the person themselves" The life sometimes does not leave you the choice, sometimes you are too weak to choose the right choice. However, my choice is the hell and it does not disturb me any more!

My ultimate life dream? Well I have two. And this is big dreaming, mind you.

I'd wish that the world itself was so stoned and mellow they won't care and would much rather smoke weed than to fight each other.

And that George Bush died.

o.o Those are dreams, all right, lol

Told ya. :3

I just want to know that when I die.... I will have made a LASTING impression on at least a few people..... and that I will be remembered for as long as they do and maybe beyond....
Money is a fickle thing because I dont see the need for it.....
Fame is fleating and brings more trouble then happyness
Houses bring bills and theives.
I want to have been around for as long as possible and done some of the things that would make someone proud of me..... because I am very consciencely aware of what people think of me and say to me...... but moreso of what they dont say.....
A wish I have is to have my hands back the way they were 10 years ago when i was 15 and could draw wonderful works of art without thinking and hurting.... tihout the aggrivation and annoyance.......
But you know the 1 true thing I want....... To find out who I truly am and then be happy with it..... I have never been truly happy with myself..... I have my reasons..... and others have given me more than I wished to have..... And yes I put up a happy face alot of the time because I dont want people upset by MY disfunctionality.....
Sorry if I brought anyone down...... just remember that its YOUR life.... YOU lead it and where ever it takes you..... just try to do the best you can for now..... because one day you might just find out you actually enjoyed it!

You know, it's easier to find happiness and inner balance than you think, it's just that most of us put up mental blocks that we use to keep ourselves from being happy as a sort of defense mechanism, but once you have the self awareness of what you're doing, it becomes easier to learn to love yourself

sharra i love your art dearly.... and in a way that means i love you
*looks around*
dont worry im no stalker..... but you just said the same thing my shrink told me when i was 7..... it didnt work then because I had the same thing I have now..... poeple bringing me down..... and thats why the joking funny "im not afraid of the world" face gets put on..... so people dont see the fact I do hate myself...... moreso for not changing my life when i had the chance..... I wont put here what I mean cause I dont wanna sound like an emo cause I aint...... but dont worry hun..... you just keep pumping out those arts for me to fav!!!!

oh shit sharra i forgot...... WHATS YOURS!!!!!!
lolz

Hahahaha, mine's a secret ;D

oh come on now.... thats just not fair......
cant you even note me :P

I wish I found a job that would allow me to draw things and do what I like the most... My illustrations (and some cover pictures) have been published in local scifi magazines and fanzines for years. I've done posters and won some drawing contests. Everyone keeps patting me on the back and telling me what a great job I do.

I have a massive portfolio, but whenever an opportunity arises I find myself drawing and designing things for free. I was never accepted into an art school and I don't know the right people and I'm afraid I will never find a job I'd want. Most of all I'd like to have some financial security in my life, preferably in the form of an art related job... Even if it doesn't pay very well.

You know I was just talking to Amiral about art schools and how to get into them. If it's truly a goal of yours there are several things you can do to get into an art college. The most stalwart way of doing it is to go to a community college, get your associates degree in graphic arts, and then do a transfer to an art college, because once you have the portfolio from one college and a degree in hand, they can't refuse you. Plus you can get government funding to go to a community college for free or next to nothing with fafsa

Yeah, I probably could do that... The problem I'm facing is that I'm already graduating from the university as a boring old culture historian. If I wanted another chance of studying something completely different, I'd have to get myself a student loan... And as a starving artist I would never in my life get enough money to get rid of the payments.

Also, my country is so small that we only have two or three art schools that are worth attending to - and the lines are long, the competition is hard.

But who knows, maybe someday... Maybe I get around to drawing a comic book, maybe I will find a project that I can take part as a "real" artist. It's important to keep dreaming. =)

To hope that my next PSD partner will be just as wonderful as my first. And or maby own a few more wiggle butts on the side. (You should know why...)

Heck if I were you, I'd want a whole herd of wiggle butts

Wiggle butt luv <3 ohhhh yeeeeeeah one of each color ^_^

Ultimate goal? No holds barred? All options open?

I'd like to teach at a high school or a middle school (some place where art projects aren't dedicated to up coming holidays or dependent on milk cartons). Then go home...make dinner for me and Jojo...afterwards we'd sit and watch tv talking about our day and making fun of whatevers on the screen...finally I'd go up to my office and work on the next days web comic or maybe a comic in a newspaper...doesn't have be a large paper..the local town rag will do. I'd also like to have a few projects in the works. Something like illiustrations for kids books...something R.L Stein or Jenny Nimmo.

Finally I guess I should say something about having a wonderful husband/Lover/guy and/or girl in my life...but I don't have any real hope or plans for that. Love has always been something that to me if it happens it happens. But if I'm meant never to be married again or have a lover then I'm okay with that.

I loved my husband but now that all this has happened I don't think Jason was the love of my life. I wasn't his...someone he lost was that. I was just good for him. Still even if I never find the love of my life or even just a fuck buddy for a month I can deal with that. Life is still good.

Whoops! Kinda went off track there at the end ^_^;; Sorry sugar.

That's not off track at all. It completely pertains to the question and gives a more detailed view of your inner workings and why you want the things you do, but it shows your strength and balance. Someone with as positive a mentality as you do will always recieve great things in life. It's when you let yourself get down and promise yourself that you're done with love and foreswear yourself to a drab existence of misery that you get exactly that, because you close yourself off to persuing any chances if they come along your way, saying "Oh it would never work anyways."

So I'm sure you'll have all those things, because you're a kind and wonderful woman who believes the best in people and in life

To win the Academy Award for Best Animated Short.

To win an Eisner Award.

To be able to draw for a living and not have the fun taken out of drawing for me.

More realistically: to find a career I can have for the rest of my life and be happy with it. Maybe it won't be cartoons but it has to exist somewhere.

You should dedicate yourself to a project and go for it. Your webcomic was doing so good before it fell to the wayside

I want to have Life with Milady.

>^..^<

That you shall have

Well I just learned your dream last night after getting your letter, so I don't know if I should wait until I write back to tell you mine or just now.

Ah what the heck you asked here, my dream has always been to open up a rather large miniature golf course. To give people something to do other than sit at home and do drugs or go out and form new gangs. It would not only be a golf course though, it would have an entire outdoor recreation area. Basketball courts, volleyball nets, either batting cages or a baseball diamond, and even a go cart track.

That sounds freaking awesome, and a very, very, very managable dream. There's no way you can't accomplish that if you actually set yourself to it. I'm glad you got the letter!

To have one of my stories on the big screen in the scale of Star Wars.

Ohh that's a good one!

No holds barred, can be anything? I wish to be more motivated as a person. I'm getting better, really I am. But I have ADD, and that means that I get easily distracted. Which means distracted away from things. There are things I know I should be doing, but I just ... don't feel like it. Like, I should be eating more fruits and vegetables, drinking less sodas, and working out at the gym. Instead, I'm chowing down on bried potato wedges from the local gas station / convenience store, drinking a Dr. Pepper, and surfing the Internet. Which is the story of my life. I have several stories I'd love to see published; even though writing brings me joy, I've let them fall away I have a few trades I should finish; even though art brings me joy, I just don't feel motivated. I should be packing -- we move in a little over a week! But I know I don't have that much left to do, so I don't.

My ex was diagnosed with ADD. Four years of adderal, five years of ritalin. With one year of living with me and me cooking nutritious things for him and monitering his diet, he's completely fixed.

That'll do it. ;3

This is gonna sound so lame. But hounestly, after haveing narrowing down everything in my life, haveing a totally less the routine life to this day. Thats exactly whati want.

A totally routine life, where it's just me, in my place, not liveing with anyone. No girlfriend, no spose, no kids, no nothing, just me. The only people I should wind up talking to are the people I know over the internet and mabey possibly meet with them every once in a while and use my vaction time (if im working under someone and not liveing off a web comic, in which case, I'll just make some comics to post on my normla update schedule while im there so I dont have to work during it) and pretty much have a relazed, easy going life.

I dont want comotion, I dont want to the burdern of takeing care of anyone. I just want me, my friends, and my videogames. That, is my dream, and I couldent think of anything better then fullfilling it.

Hey, there's nothing wrong with that! And if I ever get into the gaming industry, then you'll just help fund the paychecks, hehehehe

I want to be sucessful. Right now that's something that I think about all the time, it's scary not knowing what in store for you in the future. sometimes i find myself slacking off because I feel that I may never get there, it takes me to look at the past reminding myself what I said I wanted and looking back to now to see if I've done those things. Failure to me is a scary thing.

Is there a specific niche you want to be successful in, or just successful with anything you throw yourself into?

It would be nice to be sucessful in everything but that's not going to happen. The most important would be career and relationship wise, I could deal with failing other things.

The only thing that I ever want is to be successful in whatever I do. It's probably something that everyone wants, but it's a simple thing, but for me, it's all I could ever want...more than anything else.

Do you have any plans of where you want to go after Target?

I want to wait until I finish college before I start making any plans. Really, though, I want to try to make it with whatever digital animation job I can get with, whether it be movies or video games...it doesn't matter.

Fresh outta dreams, though I still can learn auto body. If I can learn auto body I could pretty much build anything, as long as it doesn't have a computer.

That's true, although most cars these days do have em

Yeah, that's true. I had to replace the computer chips in almost every car I have ever owned and even going by the book to the letter... I still manage to kill it. But if I build something at leat I can contract that part out.

I think the greatest thing I want is to have my creativity freed from the shackles holding it back so much, to let my stories run free and become published and enjoy that feeling of accomplishment in doing so. To write for the ages as a good novel or story will influence people long after I'm gone.

Amen to that

I have so many stories floating around in my head, on little scraps of paper stuffed into binders, in random files saved on this computer and my laptop its unreal!
My ultimate dream would to have at least just one of these in print, immortalized in either printed paper or film. I want someone to look at a collection of mine and say to themselves, "where do I want to go today? Do I go into deep space... or back in time... or into an alternate dimention..." I want what JK Rowlings, Stephen King and Orson Scott Card have.

Amen to that, brother