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The New Me (I came out)
15 years ago
General
Well its not so much new, but rather, I accept me for who I am.
Ok, so two weeks ago, I offcially came out as Bi to my friends I live with. They are all girls and were totally accepting of it. Its funny becasue at one point or another, I have hooked of with all of them. Another one of my friends who says she has know for years was the biggest help of all. Im not ashameds of this in the least. I woke up and basically said "fuck this!, I dont care anymore!" I have been in hardcore denial for two years and enough was enough. Im totally happy with my descision. I love who I am. SO as of now, a grand total of about 30 people know. They are all very close friends of mine. Im sure some have told others, but its gonna get around anyways. I have met some great people too! There is an unoffcial Homo night at my favorite bar and I go there everyweek. Its fun because I LOVE dancing and I go with my best friends girl friend. She likes it because its a safe place for her to enjoy herself and she knows I love dancing and am not afraid to show it. (we control the dance floor).
I also like going because im getting to know this community better. I have been told my type of gym is very rare. Well atleast he is hard to find. FUnny thing is, im in the gym the next day and I recongnized like 3 guys i saw at the bar. I know they knew who I was (I was dancing on a bar stool the night before). Knowing who I am has been a huge relief for me. Its the happiest I have been in years.
Now, as for my parents and family, they dont know. And I really dont care. My theory is this, since this is really new to me and im just enjoying myself they dont need to know. If I end up with a serious boyfriend then I will tell them without hesitation. All my friends have been more than supportive.
I have a small rep on my campus for being, i guess the word is player. I would say slut. ( i am not bragging. I hate it). Im trying to fix this. Im not slutting out with a ton of guys. I am enjoying myself, but im looking for something solid. I did fall hard for this one guy. I guess it was becasue he was my first guy on guy hook up. He was also everything I wanted in a person. But He had just came out of a relationship and what not. I am also a very out going person with who tries not to hide anything. My personality may ttake a bit to get use to. I talk like its my job. But I also never let people get to close. I have been hurt (much like many of us) bad before. I have also been a reason for others pain. I have this attitude where, if I want something bad enough, i'll get it and no one will stop me. I usually keep it i check, but I met a girl who had a boyfriend and it got the best of me. I fell in love and i was the casue of their break up. Her and I dont speak any more becasue she wanted me to choose between her and my best friend. Fuck that. Im loyal to till the end. I will NEVER abandon my friends. Not for the chance to get laid either. Now back from my tangent.
Its hard for me to let people it. Well I fell for this guy and we hit it of great. IT just suddenly ended. I guess I was a bit to eager. Idk. My pride took a massive blow. Its better now. So for now im just going to enjoy life for now. Ride the wave. I have told the people i was most nervouse about knowing. My best friend seemed hurt becasue I was afraid. He just told me, he has my back from now untill time ends and pass that. I love him to death. He is family to me.
Final thing!!!! So this kid im going to live with this year is an awesome friend of mine. He and I are total homo together (jokingly. We say such dirty things its just rediculous. We have even hooked upw the with same girls) Well i was freaking out about telling him. He has been my wingman. Well as im about to tell him he flat tells me he is Bi. I started tearing up becasue I was really happy. He is not open about it yet, but Now i have someone with me. Here is the hard part. I have had a huge crush on him FOREVER! We both have mentioned there is a guy we really like and i get the feeling we are talking about eachother. I just dont know what to do since will are going to be living together.
Well everyone thats my life right now! Thanks for listening. And please dont m,ind speeling mistakes. Im typeing on an OLD PC at work lol.
Ok, so two weeks ago, I offcially came out as Bi to my friends I live with. They are all girls and were totally accepting of it. Its funny becasue at one point or another, I have hooked of with all of them. Another one of my friends who says she has know for years was the biggest help of all. Im not ashameds of this in the least. I woke up and basically said "fuck this!, I dont care anymore!" I have been in hardcore denial for two years and enough was enough. Im totally happy with my descision. I love who I am. SO as of now, a grand total of about 30 people know. They are all very close friends of mine. Im sure some have told others, but its gonna get around anyways. I have met some great people too! There is an unoffcial Homo night at my favorite bar and I go there everyweek. Its fun because I LOVE dancing and I go with my best friends girl friend. She likes it because its a safe place for her to enjoy herself and she knows I love dancing and am not afraid to show it. (we control the dance floor).
I also like going because im getting to know this community better. I have been told my type of gym is very rare. Well atleast he is hard to find. FUnny thing is, im in the gym the next day and I recongnized like 3 guys i saw at the bar. I know they knew who I was (I was dancing on a bar stool the night before). Knowing who I am has been a huge relief for me. Its the happiest I have been in years.
Now, as for my parents and family, they dont know. And I really dont care. My theory is this, since this is really new to me and im just enjoying myself they dont need to know. If I end up with a serious boyfriend then I will tell them without hesitation. All my friends have been more than supportive.
I have a small rep on my campus for being, i guess the word is player. I would say slut. ( i am not bragging. I hate it). Im trying to fix this. Im not slutting out with a ton of guys. I am enjoying myself, but im looking for something solid. I did fall hard for this one guy. I guess it was becasue he was my first guy on guy hook up. He was also everything I wanted in a person. But He had just came out of a relationship and what not. I am also a very out going person with who tries not to hide anything. My personality may ttake a bit to get use to. I talk like its my job. But I also never let people get to close. I have been hurt (much like many of us) bad before. I have also been a reason for others pain. I have this attitude where, if I want something bad enough, i'll get it and no one will stop me. I usually keep it i check, but I met a girl who had a boyfriend and it got the best of me. I fell in love and i was the casue of their break up. Her and I dont speak any more becasue she wanted me to choose between her and my best friend. Fuck that. Im loyal to till the end. I will NEVER abandon my friends. Not for the chance to get laid either. Now back from my tangent.
Its hard for me to let people it. Well I fell for this guy and we hit it of great. IT just suddenly ended. I guess I was a bit to eager. Idk. My pride took a massive blow. Its better now. So for now im just going to enjoy life for now. Ride the wave. I have told the people i was most nervouse about knowing. My best friend seemed hurt becasue I was afraid. He just told me, he has my back from now untill time ends and pass that. I love him to death. He is family to me.
Final thing!!!! So this kid im going to live with this year is an awesome friend of mine. He and I are total homo together (jokingly. We say such dirty things its just rediculous. We have even hooked upw the with same girls) Well i was freaking out about telling him. He has been my wingman. Well as im about to tell him he flat tells me he is Bi. I started tearing up becasue I was really happy. He is not open about it yet, but Now i have someone with me. Here is the hard part. I have had a huge crush on him FOREVER! We both have mentioned there is a guy we really like and i get the feeling we are talking about eachother. I just dont know what to do since will are going to be living together.
Well everyone thats my life right now! Thanks for listening. And please dont m,ind speeling mistakes. Im typeing on an OLD PC at work lol.
good to hear you just ride with the wave, its an easy way and means you dont let what people say bother you :P