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sry to ask for help
15 years ago
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hey sry for askin for help. but i was making a poem when i found out i was starting to make ANOUTHER book. lol i feel dum for doing so but i couldn't stop my thoughts. but i need help to choose a name. hears what its happining. a girl named cleo ( cleopatra) is the name she lives and workes on a ranch she braks broncs and works with cattle. and i am still sceptical about having it from her point of veiw or just writing about her life. but it has been six years since her boyfriend asked if she would marry him but when she says no he disided to marry a diffrent girl to get back at her and leav. since that day she nursed her heart and put her work first. o and she gave up one love after her love after her ex. when low and behold she hears about her ex coming back. she learns that he was having a hard time with cops and his Ex girlfriend. with the memory of the insedent of what happand after there seinor year of high school anger reaches her heart and swars that she will not allow him near her. ............. and thats as far as i got lol it was just supposed to be a peom guess i let my mind wonder further. but hear is the first paregragh.
As I try to fall asleep on the dew damp grass I hear the near by river. I listened to the coyotes howl of the first hunt since spring began. I couldn't think of anything els then what happened when the last day of high school of my senior year six years ago. It was vary strange. It was sunny with a heavy sheet of clouds threatening to storm when Justin Elwood asked me to meet him at the valley. The valley is where me and Justin in the beginning of high school found. We were running after our own horses who escaped from the holding pen. We saw my mare Lucia ( Lu ch e uh). We looked around and saw the beautiful grassy area and that is when we heard a loud and angry neigh ring though out the bowl shape valley and that is where we saw a black stallion. The stallion looked around and met my eye's. He stomped one hoof and started to charge. Justin looked at where the black was going.
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As I try to fall asleep on the dew damp grass I hear the near by river. I listened to the coyotes howl of the first hunt since spring began. I couldn't think of anything els then what happened when the last day of high school of my senior year six years ago. It was vary strange. It was sunny with a heavy sheet of clouds threatening to storm when Justin Elwood asked me to meet him at the valley. The valley is where me and Justin in the beginning of high school found. We were running after our own horses who escaped from the holding pen. We saw my mare Lucia ( Lu ch e uh). We looked around and saw the beautiful grassy area and that is when we heard a loud and angry neigh ring though out the bowl shape valley and that is where we saw a black stallion. The stallion looked around and met my eye's. He stomped one hoof and started to charge. Justin looked at where the black was going.
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An opening is a very important part of the work as it is supposed to draw the readers in. You have some excellent descriptions by your first person which leads to good balance. You don't have to do pronunciations in the work they subtract from the flow. it’s the first paragraph, but remember to develop out the characterizations. A good title reflects the purpose of a piece or elements that express the piece. So here we have love, betrayal, ranches, horses, ect. Brocken spirs? That choice is up to you
Good luck with the rest.