I apologize for disappearing for a month. After my brother in law so suddenly passed away life sort of fell apart. He took his own life just a day before his 22nd birthday. It would be one thing is he were older, or if he had been sick.We don't know why he did it, we don't know what made him decide that night to leave this world. There was nothing left behind to tell us why...just a now broken family. After knowing someone so closely for ten years...it seems almost unreal. We are trying to get things back sort of to normal...but each time things appear to be getting better, fresh wounds are opened. Things were looking better until we had to go an clean out the room he was renting...we now have the majority of his belongings. His mother seems to just be shutting down and has boxed up all his things at her home. We will be going to grief counciling. I am trying to get the spark to work on art, but my heart is not in it right now and my mind is too clouded. Everytime I close my eyes to try and sleep I just get images of what those final moments must have been like-so not much sleep happening anymore. I'll try and get back up and running soon...I'm sorry.