I have only just realized that the way I eat noodles is apparently the most disgusting thing most people have seen. I grab my fork, JAM IN IT to the noodles, and take a great heaving pile. I shove as much of it in my mouth as possible, making heavy breathing noises as I try to regulate the burning temperatures in my mouth, which apparently sounds like disturbing panting, the noise you would hear when a someone breathes loudly into the phone. I also, without my knowing, slurp it incredibly loudly, as in, "Bitch I can hear you eating from upstairs" loud. Even when I am not at the moment cramming my face, I still breathe heavily, and I pant with my mouth open.

People tell me that watching this event take fold is one of the most disturbing things they have seen.
Also, not fat. Actually, on the borderline between healthy and underweight.