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Cross-posting of a rambling flow of thoughts.
15 years ago
General
So, most of my blog entries are targeted for my 'human?' side of life - I don't make a habit of mixing the two.. but there was a post I made a while ago that I thought I would share on here. Feel free to let me know what you think.
So, this blog will probably make no sense to some of you out there; it’s really just a 10+ year observation on some personalities out there, and really has no basis in fact other than my own wandering thought process and the occasional synaptic mis-fire. Please note, that most of this applies to men, because I haven’t had the intimate interaction with females needed to forge opinions. I welcome the feedback on this one.
I’ve been working on this work about 4 days now, and it just keeps getting bigger.
Outline:
- Personality types on Furries
- Types of Gay Men
- Types of Bisexuals
This conversation is probably not appropriate for people who haven’t had Sex Ed, or who don’t have an open mind about topics of sexuality.
Let’s talk Furs, or Furries.
From Wiki: “Furry fandom (also known as furrydom, fur fandom or furdom) refers to the fandom for fictional anthropomorphic animal characters with human personalities and characteristics.[1] Examples of anthropomorphic attributes include exhibiting human intelligence and facial expressions, the ability to speak, walk on two legs, and wear clothes. Furry fandom is also used to refer to the community of artists, writers, role players and general fans of the furry art forms who gather on the Internet and at conventions.”
I can only speak from my experience, of course, but of the furs I’ve met, I can say that 90% of them fit one of 5 molds (take age out of the equation). This is like the kinsey scale, in that there could be a range (one could be a 1 and a 2):
1: Complete fur, with a more than a few fur traits – fur art, anime, suits, etc. Has a job to pay rent, doesn’t care about ‘humans’ – would rather live in a cave with internet, porn, and a couple fur friends who think the same way. Goes to cons and food runs only after hours of non-stop chatting and secure that enough furs will actually be there.
2: Introverted gamer/chatter with an ‘emo’ personality. Has a million reasons why he should be in front of a computer, instead of getting a job. Has gigs of furry ‘art’ in all forms, and not all of safe for even the most liberal viewer. May sell art at a con or two.
3: ‘Closeted’ fur with emotional baggage created by the idea that he can’t be happy because he will never be out and find someone. Lives in the public, but is never happy. Won’t even keep art on his computer for fear he will get hit by a bus and someone will see it.
4: Socially adapted, usually considers being ‘furry’ as a fetish, much like jockstraps or midget porn. Calls himself a fur, but more or less just for sexual reasons, or to get a reaction from people. These may not really be furs so much as just exploratory people. Could be a bi-sexual.
5: Socially adapted, integrated furry into his life, has a level of tact to realize the potential for a taboo; very secure in himself because fur life didn’t consume him, it is just a part of the whole. You rarely find these in general unless you see the signs, and you probably know about 3 of them in your life already.
—————–
Now, onto Gay Men:
This one is a bit rough, because there’s a few more gray areas. This is a complete generalization, and only from my limited view of the areas I’ve lived.
1. Completely Gay, out and proud. Volunteers for gay sponsored events, may work at a gay company or bar. Has dabbled in the different ‘phases’ of gay stature – and has picked one. This is a combo of one of the below:
2. Diva: They have the attitude to match the price tag on those Prada loafers. Coming out wasn’t a disclosure; it was more like an ultimatum. After all, you are the diva. Your friends call you mom and when you’re not making fun of those tacky straight people, you’re planning the perfect gay brunch at your pristine home in the gay ghetto.
3. Twink: They could be 30 and look like 13. A child-like spirit to match the boyish looks. It is easy to gain access to social circles, and gain the trust of older gentlemen who are reminded of their youthful gay years. They have a lot of notches on the bedpost, and sadly, ‘no one dates a super model for her brains’. A lot of the time, social climbing, man climbing, and proving that you are ‘not just a pretty face’ is the goal. As it happens, however, that’s the best tool for getting what they want.
4. Mom’s Best Friend: Mom is the best friend this gay guy could have. He often has mom as the shopping pal, fag hag, drinking partner. He has a small social circle, and doesn’t need to be the lead, because Mom already said he was special, right? There was no need to ‘come out’, she knew 5 minutes after birth. He will usually seek the man in his life that will be the caretaker, much like the father figure that wasn’t there.
5. Gym Bo: We have all seen this type. They burn calories just smiling; anything they do is meant to keep up the physique. Dancing, lifting weights, dancing, ‘staying hydrated’ – they tower over the gay self-esteem pyramid with picture perfect looks. As much as others complain about vanity, they all want what you have (literally). This guy will have an array of personas – they can be a gentle asshole, a promiscuous romantic or a professional partier. As a mate, they date the hottest of the hot, but still keep some dorky friends to show the world that they are ‘not conceited.’ Being gay is a sex thing, and really doesn’t change how you would be in general. The mirror of this in a straight world is the football jock.
6. Gossip Girl: While similar to a Diva in attitude, he is sticky sweet to many so he can get or give the latest rumor. He knows more people than anyone at the club, but has no close friends. No one will trust him, because he just knows too much and everyone’s afraid of the dirt he can spread on them. For example: coming out was totally gratifying, because this gay man could fire back any anti-gay sentiment with the gossip they had on each family member; this effectively put everyone in their place, including their opinions of him. He is usually single, but will hop on the latest ‘business trip visitor’ because he knows they have no idea who he is. Fresh meat, no rumors. As it turns out, usually these types are the center of the gossip mainly because they need to control the spread of information – with control of what’s being said, his secrets are safe.
7. Reverted: Stayed out of the closet, but didn’t like the taste of any of the porridge. After testing the waters in one of the above listed personas, realized that he was just fine the way he was back in high school before any of this gay ‘stuff’ mattered. He is gay, sure, and he supports the causes, but his original personality surfaced.
8. “I’m just gay”: This guy is your typical middle income, average to good looking, stable guy. He goes to the parades and drinks at the gay bars, but ‘doesn’t let sexuality define him.’ He doesn’t understand the other gay types, and while he may be friends with them, he keeps a distance. He just wants to have a ‘normal life’ with 2 people, living together, working and doing all the normal suburb things. The fact that the other guy *is* a guy, well that’s just semantics.
9. Chameleon: Is he leather? Is he a twink? Is he a sugar daddy? Sure, he can be. His personality is either lost in the fold, being discovered, or can’t decide. Whatever the case, this kind of gay man will befriend every type, and when they are in a particular social circle, fits right in. They often keep friends at a distance, because he ‘couldn’t let his twink friends know he is a *gym bunny*!’ It’s very much like high school – some people were on the cheer squad and in A/V club. Rare, but if careful, can be balanced.
10. Ain’t no Fag: He loves the sex, but totally thinks that fags are sooo gay. He won’t go to the bars, and if he does, it’s a Pabst Blue Ribbon and no eye contact. He’s online surfing for a trick here and there, and when he does hook up, there is no kissing. He doesn’t like being gay, but he likes all the sensations that come with the act. Different phases of denial in this guy may cause him to sustain false relationships with women, and usually keep a shaded cloud around him at all times. He has no tolerance for fems/drag queens/twinks.
Okay, so that took me about 4 hours to write. I literally had to go down the list of my friends and bar flies, and pick out the most obvious traits. Now, I want to emphasize that this is a BROAD opinion. Obviously these don’t fit everyone 100%, and some may even fit multiple categories – it’s just that I have seen these types specifically, so I can associate them.
————————-
Now, onto the theory of bisexuals. I will beat the dead horse and say, yet again, that this is just from my observations. I welcome your comments to contribute to the conversation or analysis; in fact, i would love someone to prove me wrong.
I have the belief that the term ‘bisexual’ is used way too often, and that it isn’t used correctly. Here is the official definition via dictionary.com:
1. Biology.
- a. of both sexes.
- b. combining male and female organs in one individual; hermaphroditic.
2. sexually responsive to both sexes; ambisexual.
Of course, I am referring to the second definition as it applies to humans. It’s my opinion that the term is often just used as an excuse, or because no other sexual orientation definition fits. I also think that the definition in modern terms applies to both emotional and physical states, vs. just a physical response. Here’s my break down of how the term bisexual is used (I really think there should be a scale of bisexuality.)
My Versions of the bisexual:
1. A gay guy who is not quite ready to come out yet, so they start with ‘saying’ they are bisexual, in order to soften the blow. They may have been with the opposite sex, but it was a confusing time.
2. A straight guy who would like to appear sensitive to a female, or mass of people. They have no desire to have sexual relations with the same sex.
3. An individual who simply has such a high libido (sex drive) that the idea of physical intercourse is appealing, no matter the gender. This behavior may be exhibited when the preferred sex is unavailable (jail, camp, army, etc.) The individual could claim that he is not bi or gay at all, and that may be the case.
4. A gay guy who can’t see a male-male relationship working emotionally, but has the desires and urges for same sex intercourse. This person will usually date the opposite sex, marry and/or have children, but often cheat with the same sex – usually after inhibitions are lowered by alcohol or drugs. Afterward, the blame can be placed on the substance, and the emotions rationalized.
5. Then there is the greedy bisexual. They know that there is good stuff on both sides of the fence, so why not have it all? This type will usually flip frequently,and rarely maintains a long term relationship. They are often regarded as a very social person in general. Likely, sex is equated to this guy in the same way as going to a hockey game. It’s fun, no matter who’s playing against who.
6. The fetish bisexual is another one. This guy really is straight, but sometimes thinks it’s taboo or kinky to look at gay porn, or flirt with men. It’s enough to create a physical response, but they wouldn’t really consider dating another guy. No real emotions to discuss on this one.
7. This last one is still subjective, and I don’t know how much I believe it yet, but it has merit: The adjusted male, who realizes that men and women can be hot in different ways, and finds attraction in both. Is sexually active with either because he can be, not because he needs to be. The analogy I have is this: When asked what kind of ice cream they like, they will take chocolate as easy as vanilla, because they both taste good, you can eat both, and they both create that sense of satisfaction. (I have a few friends who swear that this is why they are bisexual; that they just ‘like both’. It is a concept I haven’t been able to quite accept, because even if you like vanilla and chocolate, when given a choice, there is always a 60/40 preference, at least.)
So that’s it. Those are some opinions I have for now. Let me know what you think!
Read more: BillieLOG » I want it to be memorable. It should have a catch phrase like “I have a dream” or “Whoomp, there it is.”
http://soniq.org/blogs/i-want-it-to.....-there-it-is-2
So, this blog will probably make no sense to some of you out there; it’s really just a 10+ year observation on some personalities out there, and really has no basis in fact other than my own wandering thought process and the occasional synaptic mis-fire. Please note, that most of this applies to men, because I haven’t had the intimate interaction with females needed to forge opinions. I welcome the feedback on this one.
I’ve been working on this work about 4 days now, and it just keeps getting bigger.
Outline:
- Personality types on Furries
- Types of Gay Men
- Types of Bisexuals
This conversation is probably not appropriate for people who haven’t had Sex Ed, or who don’t have an open mind about topics of sexuality.
Let’s talk Furs, or Furries.
From Wiki: “Furry fandom (also known as furrydom, fur fandom or furdom) refers to the fandom for fictional anthropomorphic animal characters with human personalities and characteristics.[1] Examples of anthropomorphic attributes include exhibiting human intelligence and facial expressions, the ability to speak, walk on two legs, and wear clothes. Furry fandom is also used to refer to the community of artists, writers, role players and general fans of the furry art forms who gather on the Internet and at conventions.”
I can only speak from my experience, of course, but of the furs I’ve met, I can say that 90% of them fit one of 5 molds (take age out of the equation). This is like the kinsey scale, in that there could be a range (one could be a 1 and a 2):
1: Complete fur, with a more than a few fur traits – fur art, anime, suits, etc. Has a job to pay rent, doesn’t care about ‘humans’ – would rather live in a cave with internet, porn, and a couple fur friends who think the same way. Goes to cons and food runs only after hours of non-stop chatting and secure that enough furs will actually be there.
2: Introverted gamer/chatter with an ‘emo’ personality. Has a million reasons why he should be in front of a computer, instead of getting a job. Has gigs of furry ‘art’ in all forms, and not all of safe for even the most liberal viewer. May sell art at a con or two.
3: ‘Closeted’ fur with emotional baggage created by the idea that he can’t be happy because he will never be out and find someone. Lives in the public, but is never happy. Won’t even keep art on his computer for fear he will get hit by a bus and someone will see it.
4: Socially adapted, usually considers being ‘furry’ as a fetish, much like jockstraps or midget porn. Calls himself a fur, but more or less just for sexual reasons, or to get a reaction from people. These may not really be furs so much as just exploratory people. Could be a bi-sexual.
5: Socially adapted, integrated furry into his life, has a level of tact to realize the potential for a taboo; very secure in himself because fur life didn’t consume him, it is just a part of the whole. You rarely find these in general unless you see the signs, and you probably know about 3 of them in your life already.
—————–
Now, onto Gay Men:
This one is a bit rough, because there’s a few more gray areas. This is a complete generalization, and only from my limited view of the areas I’ve lived.
1. Completely Gay, out and proud. Volunteers for gay sponsored events, may work at a gay company or bar. Has dabbled in the different ‘phases’ of gay stature – and has picked one. This is a combo of one of the below:
2. Diva: They have the attitude to match the price tag on those Prada loafers. Coming out wasn’t a disclosure; it was more like an ultimatum. After all, you are the diva. Your friends call you mom and when you’re not making fun of those tacky straight people, you’re planning the perfect gay brunch at your pristine home in the gay ghetto.
3. Twink: They could be 30 and look like 13. A child-like spirit to match the boyish looks. It is easy to gain access to social circles, and gain the trust of older gentlemen who are reminded of their youthful gay years. They have a lot of notches on the bedpost, and sadly, ‘no one dates a super model for her brains’. A lot of the time, social climbing, man climbing, and proving that you are ‘not just a pretty face’ is the goal. As it happens, however, that’s the best tool for getting what they want.
4. Mom’s Best Friend: Mom is the best friend this gay guy could have. He often has mom as the shopping pal, fag hag, drinking partner. He has a small social circle, and doesn’t need to be the lead, because Mom already said he was special, right? There was no need to ‘come out’, she knew 5 minutes after birth. He will usually seek the man in his life that will be the caretaker, much like the father figure that wasn’t there.
5. Gym Bo: We have all seen this type. They burn calories just smiling; anything they do is meant to keep up the physique. Dancing, lifting weights, dancing, ‘staying hydrated’ – they tower over the gay self-esteem pyramid with picture perfect looks. As much as others complain about vanity, they all want what you have (literally). This guy will have an array of personas – they can be a gentle asshole, a promiscuous romantic or a professional partier. As a mate, they date the hottest of the hot, but still keep some dorky friends to show the world that they are ‘not conceited.’ Being gay is a sex thing, and really doesn’t change how you would be in general. The mirror of this in a straight world is the football jock.
6. Gossip Girl: While similar to a Diva in attitude, he is sticky sweet to many so he can get or give the latest rumor. He knows more people than anyone at the club, but has no close friends. No one will trust him, because he just knows too much and everyone’s afraid of the dirt he can spread on them. For example: coming out was totally gratifying, because this gay man could fire back any anti-gay sentiment with the gossip they had on each family member; this effectively put everyone in their place, including their opinions of him. He is usually single, but will hop on the latest ‘business trip visitor’ because he knows they have no idea who he is. Fresh meat, no rumors. As it turns out, usually these types are the center of the gossip mainly because they need to control the spread of information – with control of what’s being said, his secrets are safe.
7. Reverted: Stayed out of the closet, but didn’t like the taste of any of the porridge. After testing the waters in one of the above listed personas, realized that he was just fine the way he was back in high school before any of this gay ‘stuff’ mattered. He is gay, sure, and he supports the causes, but his original personality surfaced.
8. “I’m just gay”: This guy is your typical middle income, average to good looking, stable guy. He goes to the parades and drinks at the gay bars, but ‘doesn’t let sexuality define him.’ He doesn’t understand the other gay types, and while he may be friends with them, he keeps a distance. He just wants to have a ‘normal life’ with 2 people, living together, working and doing all the normal suburb things. The fact that the other guy *is* a guy, well that’s just semantics.
9. Chameleon: Is he leather? Is he a twink? Is he a sugar daddy? Sure, he can be. His personality is either lost in the fold, being discovered, or can’t decide. Whatever the case, this kind of gay man will befriend every type, and when they are in a particular social circle, fits right in. They often keep friends at a distance, because he ‘couldn’t let his twink friends know he is a *gym bunny*!’ It’s very much like high school – some people were on the cheer squad and in A/V club. Rare, but if careful, can be balanced.
10. Ain’t no Fag: He loves the sex, but totally thinks that fags are sooo gay. He won’t go to the bars, and if he does, it’s a Pabst Blue Ribbon and no eye contact. He’s online surfing for a trick here and there, and when he does hook up, there is no kissing. He doesn’t like being gay, but he likes all the sensations that come with the act. Different phases of denial in this guy may cause him to sustain false relationships with women, and usually keep a shaded cloud around him at all times. He has no tolerance for fems/drag queens/twinks.
Okay, so that took me about 4 hours to write. I literally had to go down the list of my friends and bar flies, and pick out the most obvious traits. Now, I want to emphasize that this is a BROAD opinion. Obviously these don’t fit everyone 100%, and some may even fit multiple categories – it’s just that I have seen these types specifically, so I can associate them.
————————-
Now, onto the theory of bisexuals. I will beat the dead horse and say, yet again, that this is just from my observations. I welcome your comments to contribute to the conversation or analysis; in fact, i would love someone to prove me wrong.
I have the belief that the term ‘bisexual’ is used way too often, and that it isn’t used correctly. Here is the official definition via dictionary.com:
1. Biology.
- a. of both sexes.
- b. combining male and female organs in one individual; hermaphroditic.
2. sexually responsive to both sexes; ambisexual.
Of course, I am referring to the second definition as it applies to humans. It’s my opinion that the term is often just used as an excuse, or because no other sexual orientation definition fits. I also think that the definition in modern terms applies to both emotional and physical states, vs. just a physical response. Here’s my break down of how the term bisexual is used (I really think there should be a scale of bisexuality.)
My Versions of the bisexual:
1. A gay guy who is not quite ready to come out yet, so they start with ‘saying’ they are bisexual, in order to soften the blow. They may have been with the opposite sex, but it was a confusing time.
2. A straight guy who would like to appear sensitive to a female, or mass of people. They have no desire to have sexual relations with the same sex.
3. An individual who simply has such a high libido (sex drive) that the idea of physical intercourse is appealing, no matter the gender. This behavior may be exhibited when the preferred sex is unavailable (jail, camp, army, etc.) The individual could claim that he is not bi or gay at all, and that may be the case.
4. A gay guy who can’t see a male-male relationship working emotionally, but has the desires and urges for same sex intercourse. This person will usually date the opposite sex, marry and/or have children, but often cheat with the same sex – usually after inhibitions are lowered by alcohol or drugs. Afterward, the blame can be placed on the substance, and the emotions rationalized.
5. Then there is the greedy bisexual. They know that there is good stuff on both sides of the fence, so why not have it all? This type will usually flip frequently,and rarely maintains a long term relationship. They are often regarded as a very social person in general. Likely, sex is equated to this guy in the same way as going to a hockey game. It’s fun, no matter who’s playing against who.
6. The fetish bisexual is another one. This guy really is straight, but sometimes thinks it’s taboo or kinky to look at gay porn, or flirt with men. It’s enough to create a physical response, but they wouldn’t really consider dating another guy. No real emotions to discuss on this one.
7. This last one is still subjective, and I don’t know how much I believe it yet, but it has merit: The adjusted male, who realizes that men and women can be hot in different ways, and finds attraction in both. Is sexually active with either because he can be, not because he needs to be. The analogy I have is this: When asked what kind of ice cream they like, they will take chocolate as easy as vanilla, because they both taste good, you can eat both, and they both create that sense of satisfaction. (I have a few friends who swear that this is why they are bisexual; that they just ‘like both’. It is a concept I haven’t been able to quite accept, because even if you like vanilla and chocolate, when given a choice, there is always a 60/40 preference, at least.)
So that’s it. Those are some opinions I have for now. Let me know what you think!
Read more: BillieLOG » I want it to be memorable. It should have a catch phrase like “I have a dream” or “Whoomp, there it is.”
http://soniq.org/blogs/i-want-it-to.....-there-it-is-2
You've broken it down almost the same way I have, but you also have a lot of the other sides I've not seen..
Though, I like to think I'm my own category, too. :D
Nice to see you post here though, husky! *sluuuurp!*
* Bisexuality is complicated! My personal experience is that, despite having that tilt, [own gender] is confusing enough, so broadcasting it can actually get more attention than you know how to deal with. I'm consistently amazed and surprised how many 'normal' relationships can carry on absent the sort of deep understanding that I'd figure would be.. necessary..? ... but my own expectations are surely skewed by the Internet and having a very diverse/imaginative/overactive weird 'secret' fantasy life. I know I'm so weird and tangled that I'm not going to find something I can commit to (and expect will work/sustain/continue happily) long-term unless I bump into it and it happens - and the full net of needs and interests (and ability-to-provide-back) may not ever fully land over one single person.
* ... not to mention the general gut reaction among most people to 'shut up and pick sides already!' This stopped bugging me when I stopped 'broadcasting' so loudly - and/or being teenage and desperate. I think this is to-be-expected though, not something we can easily change - if party 1 is vocal about enjoying two traits that are mutually exclusive, party 2 is understandably going to feel.. 'funny'.. knowing they can only satisfy a partial set of party 1's professed interests. Bi critters are guilty of being 'confusing' like that conceptually (but in practice, it's all down to the social contract of a particular relationship!), while at the same time, the critics are broadcasting something about jealousy, and the weird conceptions of it that get passed around - feeling totally hurt or enraged that someone might entertain a fantasy about something other than yourself is... as rational/irrational/instinctually_motivated/are-you-sure-this-really-matters-to-you-or-did-you-just-absorb-it-as-a-cultural-norm? as it sounds. [And I ain't saying the people who Really Feel That are defective or bigoted or something, but ... that sort of requirement can be just as 'confusing' as bisexuals are!]
...
* Gay or bi or whatever, overtly sexual displays can be.. confusing or overwhelming, too. Some people have the whole social bent mixed with maybe a 'roman orgy' sort of bent. Others... well, it can be fun to 'loosen up' and realize 'they' aren't doing it just to intimidate *you*... but it can be real intimidating to walk into a situation that's all about open displays of sexuality (and... certain affectations - like the stereotypical ones - are somewhere between totally random traits and overt displays of 'plumage'). If you don't have so much of a thing for showing off or being talked about / having your exploits/conquests/whatever talked about, jumping into that sort of social 'deep-end' can be off-putting! And then, if you just aren't wired to find those particular displays, accents, whatever attractive...
* It's totally possible to enjoy [activity - holding hands, kissing, playing Magic: The Gathering, whatever] yet still react 'instinctively' (via nature, nurture, ???) to be uncomfortable when other people are doing it [whether it's rooted in instinct or jealousy or cultural mores you've absorbed or just some feeling you haven't figured out yet]. Part of being social creatures in the literal sense (needing to rely on/live in society) is sucking this up and respecting people, etc., but maybe accepting it in a laid-back 'hey that's great, good on you!' sense ain't gonna come totally naturally to everyone!
[I tapped most of this out a night ago, and... I'm going to try not to hyperanalyze - or edit - what I would've whacked 'submit' on if I hadn't rolled over and fallen asleep. If anything reads wrong, or is worth picking a bone with... I'm not sure I'm wedded to the ideas contained or how much I even agree with myself! Feel free to poke holes in them if there are are holes to be poked, I'm just afraid I'm gonna get a whole bunch of if-I-were-writing-Savage-Love-type 'you are totally wrong and perpetuating bad ideas and therefore a horrible, horrible person!' responses.]
... But if I'm going to write any more on it, I think one of the points I was trying to hit was even really *tolerant-to-the-point-of-neurosis* people still aren't perfect about 'tolerating' everything, and the lines between 'tolerating' and [being-asked-to-be /] 'being-unduly-involved in' get muzzy. Meanwhile, if you've been trained by nature or nurture or curiosity or whatever to try to categorize people to the point of making lists of types-of-_ (that's not a dig on this 'project', just a comment on the human condition!), it's hard not to! [Which is why some people somewhere are saying the best way to *not* raise kids to be either bigoty or neurotic is to never treat traits like they're important in contexts where they aren't. I already blorted that in a different thread, but that perspective is really interesting to me because it's very unlike my own experience, growing up knowing not to be a stereotyping idiot* yet also to be hyper-aware of people's backgrounds because-that-stuff-is-probably-important-to-them.]
* And spending a lot of time with family lately, I notice this breaks down among the same folks who taught me it as soon as they're angry with or critical of someone, and the new perspective really makes me step back and go 'wow, the thing they're angry about has nothing to do with the names they're calling the person!' That's a completely different thread, but based on the relative *minority* of utter divas and so on in the furry-queer** scene, maybe some of the traits that sometimes make people want to remark (drama, promiscuity, ... pick something off the original list of 'categories' that personally isn't to your taste) aren't even tightly coupled to the orientation-labels we want to associate them with! In fact, my gaydar is pretty well broken (or easily overwhelmed by strong signals and intermod), so I've observed a lot of those 'cues' among people who, surprisingly enough, turn out to be totally, no-really, sometimes even well-shit-I-wish-I-weren't-because-you're-not-the-first-person-to-misread-that 100% straight.
** Cripes, is that a bad word or a good word? I always twitched at it and then I realized nothing else covers the continuum of 'not straight' ... and the accepted shorthand of 'gay' has always seemed unnecessarily (and ironically?) cheerful, too.