Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. First off, the doctor diagnosed me with MS a few weeks back and told me to go to the hospital for treatment. She said I'd have to go through the emergency room and lie to them, tell them that the symtpoms just started otherwise they wouldn't take me in.

I did that. They did a bunch of tests. They poked and prodded and hurt me. My mom said they must've taken a pint of blood from me. I was starting to get over my fear of needles for a while, and then the last lady came. She hurt me really bad. I was crying and hyperventillating it was so horrible. After like 7 hours they tell me they can't figure out what's wrong and discharged me. Good news is the new doctor doesn't think it's MS, bad news is he has no idea what's causing the 6th nerve palsy and all the other issues I'm having.

When we got home we called the doctor. She lied to us. Over the phone she said she told us to say that it's been happening for a while (which it has). That's an outright lie because I remember word for word what she told me, and my aunt was with me and she said she told me to say it just started too. We also find out that you need 2 legions on the spine to diagnose MS and I only have 1. So she misdiagnosed me. THEN she said to come in for steroid treatment. Why would I go in for treatment for something that I might not even have?! That would make things even worse! Obviously, we're not going to her anymore. Through the hospital we have a new doctor who I'll be going to.

After the hospital I felt, and still feel, even worse than I did before. I have even less energy, and my arms are incredibly weak and sore from all the needles and iv stuff they put in me. They are bruised. Last night I couldn't sleep because when I closed my eyes, I saw the hospital. I would open my eyes scared and realize I'm still in my room. I thought my headphone cord was the iv, it still felt like it was in and it hurt. I started hyperventilating and panicking again. Even now I'm still scared and trembling even worse. (a new symptom I've been having, but this seems to be from fear...)

I'm so upset because it's like we're back to square one. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't believe a doctor lied to me, and told me to lie. I've never told a lie like that, lying makes me feel sick. If it's not MS, then is it something worse? Will I ever get my vision back? I'm scared, I don't want to feel this way the rest of my life. I want to know what's wrong with me.