It is frightening to admit when you are totally helpless, and at this point....I am. I really thought I would never see the day. I am in North Carolina right now. I am incredibly depressed, and in some trouble due to car problems. Unless I can get access to some resources this will be my last night in the hotel. When I do make it home (if I make it home) I face a ton of shit there as well. I am not dealing with any of this well at all, and several times I have come very close to ending it. I cannot keep going like this. My mother believes I am down here having so much fun. I have been crying and fighting the urge to end it all since Saturday night. Sounds so fun doesn't it? I am alone in a little hotel room with skype, and the phone being my only real means of communication. My only contact to the outside world. I am absolutely petrified. I hate myself for ever taking this trip. I am so depressed I can no longer eat. Just not hungry whatsoever. For the first time....I cannot handle it. I have no clue what I am going to do, and hanging here crying isn't doing me any good. If (I do mean if) I disappear it is no ones fault but my own. Call it dumb luck, or call it stupidity, but I already had problems to deal with at home before I left, and I left anyway. The problems here have only compounded these issues. I have lost all hope of things ever being okay again. I have no clue where to turn from here.