>> Had a haircut a couple of days ago, nice and short. It grows out pretty fast, anyway. For a few months I had a full head of wavy, oddly pliable hair. Most of it formed a black, distressing pile on the floor around the barber's chair.

Earlier, I'd been putting tiny cookies (some pecan, some almond, some oatmeal) and murukku into jars, setting them all aside for later. A bottle of rose syrup cordial sits in the fridge, next to a bottle of vanilla soda. All in the off-chance I get visitors in the weekend and beyond.

Going to the bank later to get some small ringgit notes, fivers for the kids up North in blue paper money packets from a bachelor cousin with a job. No sleepover this year in Muar, a day visit. Off by early morning, back by night. I'll try to get some video up, if I get neat footage. (Likely won't be as raucous as last year.)

Much relief that this morning'll be the last of disrupted sleep schedule. A bit wonked that I hadn't said niceties and well-wishes to a number of people, here and in meatspace; I was so much out of sync this year, it's not even funny.

>> Did Ramadhan do anything for me? Aside from a persistent uncertainty over the passing of time and the hours of the day, not much. A fuck-ton of déjà vu, as well, though I'm unsure of the relevance. On the whole, it does leave me feeling like my heart's been getting heavy, perhaps even calcifying, and every day seems even more like the ones before it.

Concordantly, I'd be rather embarassed if the version of me from, say, a mere three years ago saw me like this. (Followed promptly by making sure he takes note of some important details on place and time, without divulging information erring close to causing utter disbelief, before tossing him back through the space-time telephone booth.) That guy was a Ram, totally riding on some notion of being in sync with Solar Aries or some astrological crap whatnot and butting his head into everything he could, blazing trails even when nobody was listening to his bleating.

This guy, however, is a sheep with his horns snapped off during a tumble, after headbutting a ravine. Don't go into the cave, he'll get annoyed and start hooting to mask his presence, or something. Baa-hoo.

>> Spirituality, if not religion, when you see enough expressions of it, has its own beauty and such moments where it is the gleaming center in displays of uncanny and brilliant human endeavour. It makes sense to me, thinking of religion as an invention of humanity; it's often when an invention no longer serves the needs of people, or worse, becomes the waved-about focus of servitude instead, that it manifests as firewood for suffering.

However, there was a time when the boilers and engines of spirituality are attached to the gears of greater needs, the axles of compassion and the treaded wheels of common progress. The car broke down, yes, but perhaps enough people may see fit to drive something like it again, someday.

Until then, a Happy Eid Fitri to those who observe it, and peace be unto you.