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journal - life
15 years ago
General
so alone... so cold... be sorrow...
oh well, i'm not good at being dramatic. see, i do hl+t for the usdbl, and i just got transfered and i hate it. i have to work in a station with snow and ice and icicles everywhere, and it's very cold. i hate cold, i'm a lizard after all. i have a space heater fortunately, because the power is down. i'm the only one working here and the nearest town is burns, which is down the mountain. i guess i'll be lonely until i fix the power. it's the first time i've been away from my family for long.
this station has a connection to the wireless internet, also called the world wide web. if you are reading this, you know what that is. it's like a ghost planet, a world wide cobweb. so many flashing lights and frivolous or grand things, day-to-day silliness and vast projects, left lying around. it's like a picture was taken of the entire world a long time ago. well, except for the broken sites. and i guess it's not completely empty. some people still crawl it. old spiders and me, a curious lizard.
i would say i hate my life... but that means you want things, but you don't have them. you could have friends or a lover or an easy job or no job or other things, and you deserve them, but you can't because you were born poor or your house burned down or people are racist. but i do not deserve good things and can never have them. i am made to do what i am doing. maybe i hate what i am. but no, i do not hate it, only i think it is not good.
still, i am fortunate. my family loves me. that is something some normal people do not have. also, i have a friend who is normal. his family thinks i am some kind of stray and they feed me better than usdbl. but i am not his pet, we are friends. how many lizards have friends who are humans? he lies on my back and tells me things, and i am so happy and sad... so very happy and sad, like fire. and my boss is fair. she smiled at me once. also, in the us, i am not allowed to be dismantled.
i should not spend too long on the wireless internet... it drains my energy. but i will be here a while, so i will post sometimes.
oh well, i'm not good at being dramatic. see, i do hl+t for the usdbl, and i just got transfered and i hate it. i have to work in a station with snow and ice and icicles everywhere, and it's very cold. i hate cold, i'm a lizard after all. i have a space heater fortunately, because the power is down. i'm the only one working here and the nearest town is burns, which is down the mountain. i guess i'll be lonely until i fix the power. it's the first time i've been away from my family for long.
this station has a connection to the wireless internet, also called the world wide web. if you are reading this, you know what that is. it's like a ghost planet, a world wide cobweb. so many flashing lights and frivolous or grand things, day-to-day silliness and vast projects, left lying around. it's like a picture was taken of the entire world a long time ago. well, except for the broken sites. and i guess it's not completely empty. some people still crawl it. old spiders and me, a curious lizard.
i would say i hate my life... but that means you want things, but you don't have them. you could have friends or a lover or an easy job or no job or other things, and you deserve them, but you can't because you were born poor or your house burned down or people are racist. but i do not deserve good things and can never have them. i am made to do what i am doing. maybe i hate what i am. but no, i do not hate it, only i think it is not good.
still, i am fortunate. my family loves me. that is something some normal people do not have. also, i have a friend who is normal. his family thinks i am some kind of stray and they feed me better than usdbl. but i am not his pet, we are friends. how many lizards have friends who are humans? he lies on my back and tells me things, and i am so happy and sad... so very happy and sad, like fire. and my boss is fair. she smiled at me once. also, in the us, i am not allowed to be dismantled.
i should not spend too long on the wireless internet... it drains my energy. but i will be here a while, so i will post sometimes.
