It's important because it's a natural urge, like eating or sleeping. We feel driven to procreate by the instincts ingrained within us from so much evolution. Of course, random mutations happen, and I'm not surprised that asexuality such as what you've described you have is one such random mutation. Be glad, though--sex is an urge that has been made so pleasurable for us that people are too often driven to extremes to obtain it. You're free of it, and so can focus energies elsewhere.

Lol... you have a point there. High school was much easier for me than it was (or seemed to be) for my peers. Though it did leave me wondering what the hell was wrong with them much of the time.

For me, sex isn't a drive to procreate. I know this because I don't have a maternal bone in my body, people can just keep their little sprogs away from me tyvm. I like it because 1: it just feels good. and 2 (more importantly): it's a deep connection with my beloved. Some have sex with most anyone who will give them the time of day.. but for me, desirable, passionate sex is about sharing an intense spiritual connection, sharing energy, and really an ultimate way to bond with my dearest. We have plenty of other interests and ways to bond, of course, but sex does hold a fairly important rank for us.

The "spiritual connection" is an answer I've heard before and that is the one I come closest to understanding. I have something like that so I can substitute my experience with what people describe about sex. It's analogous in its value, it's just not physical.

Hmmm... as a rather sexual person myself, I'd be happy to explain any questions you might have. Feel free to send me a note anytime.

For someone who has no sexuality, but isn't necessarily offended, how would I explain it? It's such a primal instinct your higher reasoning, your thoughts, are led around by your body even though you *think* you're in charge. With me, I was always attracted to the human form, but when I hit puberty, suddenly the female form became a LOT more attractive than it had been before. The same scantily-clad pictures I looked at before were suddenly so gorgeous I could look at it for hours... something similar happened with real-life girls. (and sometimes real-life boys... ah, the confusion of being bi)

And yes, it is true that when your body wants it, one's thoughts will keep returning to sex. My teenage years were insane... my "idle" thoughts rather than being neutral, were always about sex, different sex acts, who in the room I might get them from, and so on. I would always break-down a classroom by who I'd want to have sex with the most, who would make great-looking pron with who, and which objects might be used as sex toys and/or tie points for bondage. My sex drive has slowed down a bit the last couple years, finally, but that only frustrates and saddens me... being mildly aroused all the time was rather enjoyable.

(I have question for you: do you get aroused and "paw off" ever or is your body completely non-sexual?)

I occassionally get "the itch" and will masturbate, but it tends to be more pragmatic than anything else. If I ignore it, it will only continue to pester me. Masturbating is also a great sleep aid so I'll do that when I'm having issues getting to sleep. It's fairly rare and so far seems unconnected to anything I've been able to identify.

Ok. There is a certain pragmatism to it, but with me, "the itch" is so intense there are times I CAN'T fall asleep until I masterbate.

I suppose one way to explain it is to imagine that every time your body wanted attention, your thoughts kept wandering/daydreaming to attractive people and/or furries and having sex with them. And then the more you think of that, the more aroused your body gets and the more you want... it's a viscious cycle engineered to get you to reproduce whether you'd normally want to or not. :p

When I'm VERY aroused, my perception of things is distorted... My "standards" of people I'm attracted to become, shall we say "broader" and I find myself attracted to people I normally would consider, quite frankly, ugly. Also more and more fetishes seem acceptable to me, until things that would normally completely gross me out seem like great ideas. It often ends up with me finding some porn I think is awesome when I'm in the moment, but then later thinking "I pawed off to THIS?? ewww..." o_O

This is a great journal. :) As an asexual as well, I also often wonder this. I fit in the category of an asexual with a good libido, I just have no desire of or attraction to either gender. Still, I have no idea what the attraction is. I think it's supposed to feel good or something.

So do you consider yourself "autosexual"? or does that just serve to further divide an already tiny population?

"Because it feels awesome" is the most common answer I get from people. Based on my experience, however, the feeling of orgasm is not particularly impressive. I find the feeling of a good backrub or footrub far more enjoyable myself.

No, I just consider myself asexual. Yeah, a nice back rub is definitely better! LOL

I'm in the asexual pool myself. Normally. I always felt like I was stuck in the pre-puberty phase, because I never felt attracted to anyone during my teenage years, male or female. I dated rarely and often just to remind myself that I still don't feel attracted to people like I thought I should.

Then I met the man who is my husband now. We connected on an intellectual level, and were friends until I realized I felt something more for him. It was strange, and awkward, but I finally knew what it was like to be sexually attracted to someone. And thank god he liked me, too! xD

Before him, I never had sex and never had any attraction to it. Then I met him, and I was the one asking for it. xD I don't know how this happens, or whatever, but yeah. And honestly, I've never really orgasm'd that I know of, so sex isn't that great an experience... but as someone else said, it's the physical connection that I like and desire. Being closer to someone than ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD is desirable to me, as long as that person is him.

So... yeah. Weirdo me. xD

Oh, and I never masturbate. Never learned how. Never interested me. xD

The two main reasons sex is seen as important is the physical pleasure it gives and the need to satisfy one's peers and social groups.

It's all in the genes. It's the only reason we exist - we're gene replicating machines. Fortunately, we have big, complicated brains that let us do all kinds of other interesting things, so you can live an interesting, full life whether or not you feel the urge. Personally, I have a very low sex drive and don't plan on reproducing. I find sex stuff more a source of mild amusement than anything else.

Like an addiction I'm quite ashamed of...that's what it feels like to me.

I never was a person who was into dating and getting involved into relationships. Never really cared that much-- and sex in my point of view is only something I would do with someone that I'm extremely committed to (as in this person is someone I would be spending the rest of my life with).......which I'm not sure if they have come my way or not. I guess sex is just a highly spiritual and sacred thing to me-- not something I think about everyday or wish for. While I'm not committed, I'm not doing it. There's no need for me to.
I find men attractive...not sure why. I guess its an instinct. I don't fantasize though. Its not on my list of priorities.
I do however, have a boyfriend (who really is like a best friend to me) and I have such admiration for him that I just want to cuddle and hug and kiss and do sweet little things for him all the time just because I love him so much. Admittedly, I am curious. But.....why go that far when there are plenty of other ways to show physical affection for someone? --at least at this point.

When I was growing up my parents always said they had married their best friend. Lacking much "internal" direction in terms of romantic relationships, I always ran with that idea; ones mate should be ones best friend. It made for a short list of possibilities over the years. I wound up dating only twice in my life as a result. Oddly enough, my mate and I never dated... we kinda realized we were a couple after roughly two years of hanging out and doing domesticy shit together (cooking for one another, long conversations, shared hobbies, etc.)

lol thats kinda how my relationship with my boyfriend developed. We didn't realize it for a long while xD

I'm a very sexual person, to the point where it's almost hard for me to understand how homo- and hetero-sexual people can only be attracted to SOME people. I think everyone's sexy, physically, and they only get better when they display an awesome personality. I couldn't live or function in a relationship without sex. You can relax and have fun in the bedroom with someone who might otherwise be tense or closed off, and when there's nothing separating two people but air you really feel a closeness I've never been able to recreate in a non-sexual situation. You trust the other person implicitly, with not only your physical health but with your body. Being not only accepted for what you look like, but desired...well, it's quite a self-esteem boost, you know? And then if you get into fetishes and things you of course open up a whole new world of trust, which I personally find rather fascinating and fun to explore. I like to be relaxed and have as much fun in bed as I can, so I often do whatever I want and end up laughing if it doesn't work or something silly happens.

Masturbating is nice, but having someone else do the work for you, even if they were able to copy your exact physical movements 100%, is SO much better. At least, it feels better, to me. And then once you've been intimate with someone you have a whole other level of understanding with them. They've seen all of you and you've seen all of them, and in a lot of cases you know stuff they like that they might not want the rest of the world to know. There are very few things I can think of that bring two people together in an intimate sense more than sex does. Even if it means nothing, it creates an undeniable bond between two people. When done right in a relaxed atmosphere, sex can show you a lot about who a person is that you might not otherwise be able to see. It's fun stuff. 8D

I feel the same way! Nothing, no libido!

I'm sexual, but I don't get the general world's view of sex, where you can do with anyone so long as you know their first name. For me, it has less to do with libido and attraction (although that helps) and more with symbolism. It's something I enjoy and gives me pleasure. And it gives my husband pleasure and joy. It is a way that we give each other pleasure. But more than that, it is a special gift that only he and I gets. He's the only one I've ever had sex with and I for him. That makes it a little special for us in and of itself. Plus, you are pretty bare when you have sex. You hide nothing. You put forth trust in the other person in allowing to see them utterly bare and allow them to get rather intimate.

Yeah, I'm also a bit of a romantic. But otherwise, sex would be rather dull I think.