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Shocking New Developments!
18 years ago
General
We here at the RXN News Network have received word of a shocking development from superstar and 3d Modeler extraordinare, Kris Reizer. We go now live to our correspondent Suzy Gestennelwhichzen.
Thank you, Mark. I'm standing here with the amazing Kris Reizer in an exclusive interview to determine just what his fantastic announcement could be. Kris?
...
Exclusive interview, my ass. Get out of my bathroom.
Oh, what lovely wallpaper you have in here?
Ah! Don't you just love it? See how it matches the tile perfe- waaait a minute! That won't work on me! You're trying to grab my interest by getting me to talk about interior design! Bah! Begone with you!
Oh, please? We'll give you a Persian rug with matching curtains!
...
Glittery curtains?
Gaudier than Siegfried and Roy.
Score!
All right, what do ya wanna know?
Well, we were hoping to get the inside scoop on your shocking news.
Ah, an easy question, Ms. Beeswax. You see-
Er, my name is-
Like I was saying, Ms. Beeswax. I have made a fascinating new discovery in the field of gravitational physics. I have discovered that my bellybutton is the center of the universe.
But that sounds impossible! How did you ever discover such a thing?
Well, it began in guard camp when I had to be measured for my uniform. The instructor managed to find my navel, hidden by a shirt, twice in a row, not being off by even a fraction of an inch. I have proceeded to test this on many diverse individuals. Eventually, I concluded that I possess a gravitational pull that spirals inward towards my core. Using geometric and vertex interpolation, I have concluded that all things in the universe are moving directly away from the point where my navel was to exist at the time of my birth. In conclusion, upon the date predicted by the Mayas, the entire universe shall implode, returning to my bellybutton.
...
Are you high?
Nope. I have pie-charts!
OH! That changes everything! You heard it here, folks! We are all destined for an apocalyptic nightmare within the confines of Kris Reizer's navel. Back to you, Mark! Fransisco, give the fox his curtains.
Thank you, Mark. I'm standing here with the amazing Kris Reizer in an exclusive interview to determine just what his fantastic announcement could be. Kris?
...
Exclusive interview, my ass. Get out of my bathroom.
Oh, what lovely wallpaper you have in here?
Ah! Don't you just love it? See how it matches the tile perfe- waaait a minute! That won't work on me! You're trying to grab my interest by getting me to talk about interior design! Bah! Begone with you!
Oh, please? We'll give you a Persian rug with matching curtains!
...
Glittery curtains?
Gaudier than Siegfried and Roy.
Score!
All right, what do ya wanna know?
Well, we were hoping to get the inside scoop on your shocking news.
Ah, an easy question, Ms. Beeswax. You see-
Er, my name is-
Like I was saying, Ms. Beeswax. I have made a fascinating new discovery in the field of gravitational physics. I have discovered that my bellybutton is the center of the universe.
But that sounds impossible! How did you ever discover such a thing?
Well, it began in guard camp when I had to be measured for my uniform. The instructor managed to find my navel, hidden by a shirt, twice in a row, not being off by even a fraction of an inch. I have proceeded to test this on many diverse individuals. Eventually, I concluded that I possess a gravitational pull that spirals inward towards my core. Using geometric and vertex interpolation, I have concluded that all things in the universe are moving directly away from the point where my navel was to exist at the time of my birth. In conclusion, upon the date predicted by the Mayas, the entire universe shall implode, returning to my bellybutton.
...
Are you high?
Nope. I have pie-charts!
OH! That changes everything! You heard it here, folks! We are all destined for an apocalyptic nightmare within the confines of Kris Reizer's navel. Back to you, Mark! Fransisco, give the fox his curtains.
hehehehehe.....
That's a surprise, thilly!
=^_~=
that was quite funneh -- inspired by actual events?
Liz was measuring me for my uniform, and it just went on from there.
I love how "jhonen" looks like a typo...