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Tuner dudes... please
15 years ago
General
Okay... so got into a pissing contest with a tuner turd.
Now, keep in mind, I don't hate tuners.
I just hate most of the drivers.
I tried to get a philisophical conversaton going with a guy who had a Honda Civic. I was impressed because his little Honda had a full roll cage and when I asked what he had going on under the hood... B20 naturally aspirated, true cold air intake, computer. No cams or anything as I asked "Sleeves? Turbo? Intercooler? Nitrous?"
He will be running Nitrous, probably a Zex system. I figured he was shitting me, probably lying so I wouldn't know what he REALLY had. The car itself was kind of poor. But you know, lot of people can't afford to go fast AND look good. SO they choose to either go fast OR look good. So he was being a dick when he found out I like American Muscle.
"Shit... dude... American cars aint where it's AT, knowhasayin? It's ALL Japan, bro! Sports cars are just mid life crisis cars. Muscle cars are just compensatin' for havin' a small pecker! Trucks are for hillbillies and lowriders are for broke ass homies to feel all like yuppies."
"So... if American muscle cars are compensating for having a small penis... does that mean tuner drivers are just trying to convince the world that their small penis is sexy?"
Turned into a shouting match. I wasn't going to come to blows wit this kid. It'd be my luck he was a 17 year old and being rather large and agressive I'd wind up being the bad guy. Finally he gets into that Honda and begins to smoke the tires... sorta. One tire spun, but the other remained perfectly still and the spinner didn't have enough on it to actually smoke. It was more like dropping the clutch at redline and "Chrpchrpchrpchrp"...
he probably spent more on that roll cage than he did on under the hood. So I know a busted ass Honda on that side of town that will be finding itself a Camaro snack.
Now, keep in mind, I don't hate tuners.
I just hate most of the drivers.
I tried to get a philisophical conversaton going with a guy who had a Honda Civic. I was impressed because his little Honda had a full roll cage and when I asked what he had going on under the hood... B20 naturally aspirated, true cold air intake, computer. No cams or anything as I asked "Sleeves? Turbo? Intercooler? Nitrous?"
He will be running Nitrous, probably a Zex system. I figured he was shitting me, probably lying so I wouldn't know what he REALLY had. The car itself was kind of poor. But you know, lot of people can't afford to go fast AND look good. SO they choose to either go fast OR look good. So he was being a dick when he found out I like American Muscle.
"Shit... dude... American cars aint where it's AT, knowhasayin? It's ALL Japan, bro! Sports cars are just mid life crisis cars. Muscle cars are just compensatin' for havin' a small pecker! Trucks are for hillbillies and lowriders are for broke ass homies to feel all like yuppies."
"So... if American muscle cars are compensating for having a small penis... does that mean tuner drivers are just trying to convince the world that their small penis is sexy?"
Turned into a shouting match. I wasn't going to come to blows wit this kid. It'd be my luck he was a 17 year old and being rather large and agressive I'd wind up being the bad guy. Finally he gets into that Honda and begins to smoke the tires... sorta. One tire spun, but the other remained perfectly still and the spinner didn't have enough on it to actually smoke. It was more like dropping the clutch at redline and "Chrpchrpchrpchrp"...
he probably spent more on that roll cage than he did on under the hood. So I know a busted ass Honda on that side of town that will be finding itself a Camaro snack.
I agree about the Eurocars. I LIKE those little Golfs! Not to mention I think all the other car manufacturers could learn a thing or two from the diesel engines the diesel golfs run.
well I DID remove a lot of the metal and put in aluminum... lowered the center of gravity... and changed the weight distribution to suit my driving style more...
but still...
I want to put a Hemi in a Prius, but that's more to piss off other prius drivers than anything else...
But alot of the car shows had to ban the tuners because they were just unsafe. Guys would be doing burnouts in the lanes where people were looking at the show cars. Or they'd just turn up the stereo so no one else could talk. And talking to the owners is half the fun of going to car shows.
What I've always liked about the American Muscle Car owners is the detail they put into making the car show ready by having everything either original, or direct replacement and not doing a bunch of mods to the car. Seeing an AMX in original trim is still a heart stopper.
I remember on Court TV there was a case where a couple street racers were racing in the mountains at night and hit a car full of kids. Killed everyone but one kid who was badly maimed. The case wasn't about their crime, they were suing the family of the lady they hit so they can replace their cars. I guess they had $120K into their car or something. The judge himself nearly lept out of his chair at them. Then there's Hulk Hogan's son... they all make the legit guys look bad. Tuner and muscle alike.
btw, I'm starting to make plans. I intend on going to the 2012 - 24 Hours @ Daytona. :)
The extent of my plans is some new tires for the Camaro, a few modest suspension upgrades (Subframe connectors and X member) and seeing if I can hit close to 7 Gs on the skidpad. Then brakes, four piston calipers front and dual piston caliper conversion back. Then High Plains Raceway.