I really know why, but for some reason or another, I feel very disconnected from this place. Granted, I've gone through a lot the last few years, and as such have changed a good deal from who I used be.

However, I've always felt kind of a strange distance from here, and well, everywhere I've tried to find a place in in my life. It's just that lately it's really been bugging me -- I used to find it fairly easy to socialize with people online, and now I find it an extremely difficult task because I'm always worried that I'm going to make an ass out of myself or something... I also hate that most of the time now whenever I try to talk to someone, I just kind of run out of things to say, and stop talking altogether; my guess is that it stems of from my fear of making an ass of myself.

I don't really know what happened; I never used to be this self-conscious about things; I used to be a lot more open about myself, but I feel like I've closed myself off and become afraid again, and I don't like this feeling one bit. :<

Halp please. :<