Well, what can I say? I've been so burnt out and tired lately that I've gotten really sick of myself. I mean really sick of myself. I owe you guys yet another apology, but I don't see the point at this case, I know I'm going to freak out again.

I've been trying to get myself to relax, but my brain doesn't really want that. It still feels like there's more to be done, people to make up for, and shit like that. And I can't make it just go away as easily as others. It eats away at me, a lot, and when it comes to a climax, I just lose it and break down, blabbing like a fucktard.

I dunno, maybe I should stop kidding myself when I try to relax. I just can't get myself to wind down. I'm worried about the future, about what impression I make with my friends, about my college responsibilities, about driving, about... everything. I just wanna stay home, lay down, and forget about everything I've ever done, get a clean slate. But even if somebody gave me that, I'd still couldn't fully accept it.

I really wish I can just relax. I just can't find the answer anymore.