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Kwan & Hob Go to a Nudie Resort
15 years ago
General
Kyoo no tema wa kore desu....
tl,dr :: Kwan & Hob went to a nude resort & had a great time. ^__^
Yes, we really did.
No, I'm not making it up.
My boyfriend Hob is a naturist (Kwan's translation: 'Naturist' is a fancy modern way of saying 'Nudist,' which means he likes to gad about all nakie -- as far as I can tell, it's akin to calling yourself a Trekker instead of a Trekkie). A while back he hesitantly suggested that maybe someday we could go to a nudist resort. I think I surprised him by saying "Sure, why not?" I'm under the impression that in the past Hob hasn't received many favorable responses.
I did say that I'd only be interested in a 'real' nudist establishment, as opposed to the kind of place where frat-boys go so they can elbow each other & ogle at titties. Find a 'real' resort Hob did, right in the outskirts of Tucson. Last weekend I asked Hob if he had any ideas for a roadtrip, and guess what he suggested? Okay, so it wasn't quite a road-trip, but it was something new & it had a pool. I was game.
Via his mighty internets, Hob got various scant answers from the staff (Can we bring our own food? Do we change in the parking lot or what?) and we were set. When we got there, the main entrance was blocked off by construction. We found an alternative way in, which was also full of construction equipment & crew (who appeared to be busy pushing around the gravel road on which we were trying to traverse). It would have been nice for the staff to have mentioned this in their responses to Hob; a little forewarning would have saved a lot of concerned second-guessing.
We eventually found the spot. Construction crews were all about so we decided not to disrobe until doing a little recon. The first person we saw walking about was fully clothed...odd. We made it to the main office, and all the staff were fully clothed. So was the guy at the bar. I think Hob was feeling a huge let-down at this point; he's been wanting to get to a nudist resort for a long time, and the first 5 people we see, staff included, are in clothes. The pat response to why they were dressed was "I'm not a nudist." Hob remarked to me that it gives the impression that management doesn't believe in their product.
Turns out all the construction was part of a huge addition to the property. Evidently business is so good, they're adding many condos & an RV lot to the premises. The friendly but not-naked staff assured us we were indeed in the right place, gave us a brief tour, and left us to our own devices.
From there on out it was a very fun day! We shucked clothes & made for the pool. There is an exercise/workout room & a small rec room, as well as a dancehall where they host karaoke & musical groups, but I'm under the impression that most of the folks end up converging at the pool. There are actually 3 pools; one for swimming, one for volleyball, and a 'conversation pool' that is really a long extended hot-tub. We tried out all three (the conversation pool was especially nice once the sun went down).
I love swimming, I especially love skinny-dipping, and so I was one happy rat. I expected Hob to eventually escape to a lounge-chair & read a book, but he was enjoying the pools as well. So much so that he got some sunburn. This was despite the sunblock 30 I had brought. I got all mother-hen on him & made Captain White-Boy get a hat.
We met some very nice couples, did a crapton of swimming, and after the construction crews left did some walking about as well. We checked out the gift shop (mostly selling clothes, how's that for irony?), appreciated the scenery (startled some quail), and dined at their restaurant (good food, but a little too pricey). All bare, of course.
Hob found non-naked staff an irksome thing. As he said, "It's like hiring the Amish to work at Best Buy, or getting a vegetarian to cook your steak." Over dinner, we were enlightened by a a nice couple of regulars. Evidently there's an Arizona law that states all staff must be clothed. They also explained that the owners, who usually do go in the buff, were gone for the week--which explained why the email responses Hob received were sparse & failed to mention the construction.
I'm sure that by now people are asking, "But what do nudists DO?"
Answer: The same stuff everybody else does in public, only without clothing.*
Read books, use internets, swim, nom food, sunbathe, walk about, listen to music, chitchat, show off tattoos, etc.
Disrespectful or inappropriate behavior (such as groping, making out, and lewd or insulting commentary) is very much frowned upon & can result in getting banned.
Random notes:
- Like a good hitchhiker, a good nudist always knows where his towel is
- I predicted (and was correct) that we would be the whitest folks there
- It was kinda nice being one of the youngest couples
- All ages, all body sizes
- Hob was rather smug to be in a hot-tub with 3 nekkid wimmin sporting anatomy of various bouyancy
- The grounds are beautiful
- Arizona is a good place to be nekkid in (apart from the cactus)
- The resort started as a dude ranch, Katherine Hepburn & Spencer Tracy guested there
Would I go again? In a heartbeat. Once my crap is moved from Ohio storage to Arizona, I'm saving up for a membership.
* For light-hearted and good-natured insight to 'nuddie' culture, I recommend a couple of Australian-based webcomics: the Koala Bares and Loxie & Zoot. I especially appreciate the variety of ages, bodies, races, and skin tones the writer/author uses.
Yes, we really did.
No, I'm not making it up.
My boyfriend Hob is a naturist (Kwan's translation: 'Naturist' is a fancy modern way of saying 'Nudist,' which means he likes to gad about all nakie -- as far as I can tell, it's akin to calling yourself a Trekker instead of a Trekkie). A while back he hesitantly suggested that maybe someday we could go to a nudist resort. I think I surprised him by saying "Sure, why not?" I'm under the impression that in the past Hob hasn't received many favorable responses.
I did say that I'd only be interested in a 'real' nudist establishment, as opposed to the kind of place where frat-boys go so they can elbow each other & ogle at titties. Find a 'real' resort Hob did, right in the outskirts of Tucson. Last weekend I asked Hob if he had any ideas for a roadtrip, and guess what he suggested? Okay, so it wasn't quite a road-trip, but it was something new & it had a pool. I was game.
Via his mighty internets, Hob got various scant answers from the staff (Can we bring our own food? Do we change in the parking lot or what?) and we were set. When we got there, the main entrance was blocked off by construction. We found an alternative way in, which was also full of construction equipment & crew (who appeared to be busy pushing around the gravel road on which we were trying to traverse). It would have been nice for the staff to have mentioned this in their responses to Hob; a little forewarning would have saved a lot of concerned second-guessing.
We eventually found the spot. Construction crews were all about so we decided not to disrobe until doing a little recon. The first person we saw walking about was fully clothed...odd. We made it to the main office, and all the staff were fully clothed. So was the guy at the bar. I think Hob was feeling a huge let-down at this point; he's been wanting to get to a nudist resort for a long time, and the first 5 people we see, staff included, are in clothes. The pat response to why they were dressed was "I'm not a nudist." Hob remarked to me that it gives the impression that management doesn't believe in their product.
Turns out all the construction was part of a huge addition to the property. Evidently business is so good, they're adding many condos & an RV lot to the premises. The friendly but not-naked staff assured us we were indeed in the right place, gave us a brief tour, and left us to our own devices.
From there on out it was a very fun day! We shucked clothes & made for the pool. There is an exercise/workout room & a small rec room, as well as a dancehall where they host karaoke & musical groups, but I'm under the impression that most of the folks end up converging at the pool. There are actually 3 pools; one for swimming, one for volleyball, and a 'conversation pool' that is really a long extended hot-tub. We tried out all three (the conversation pool was especially nice once the sun went down).
I love swimming, I especially love skinny-dipping, and so I was one happy rat. I expected Hob to eventually escape to a lounge-chair & read a book, but he was enjoying the pools as well. So much so that he got some sunburn. This was despite the sunblock 30 I had brought. I got all mother-hen on him & made Captain White-Boy get a hat.
We met some very nice couples, did a crapton of swimming, and after the construction crews left did some walking about as well. We checked out the gift shop (mostly selling clothes, how's that for irony?), appreciated the scenery (startled some quail), and dined at their restaurant (good food, but a little too pricey). All bare, of course.
Hob found non-naked staff an irksome thing. As he said, "It's like hiring the Amish to work at Best Buy, or getting a vegetarian to cook your steak." Over dinner, we were enlightened by a a nice couple of regulars. Evidently there's an Arizona law that states all staff must be clothed. They also explained that the owners, who usually do go in the buff, were gone for the week--which explained why the email responses Hob received were sparse & failed to mention the construction.
I'm sure that by now people are asking, "But what do nudists DO?"
Answer: The same stuff everybody else does in public, only without clothing.*
Read books, use internets, swim, nom food, sunbathe, walk about, listen to music, chitchat, show off tattoos, etc.
Disrespectful or inappropriate behavior (such as groping, making out, and lewd or insulting commentary) is very much frowned upon & can result in getting banned.
Random notes:
- Like a good hitchhiker, a good nudist always knows where his towel is
- I predicted (and was correct) that we would be the whitest folks there
- It was kinda nice being one of the youngest couples
- All ages, all body sizes
- Hob was rather smug to be in a hot-tub with 3 nekkid wimmin sporting anatomy of various bouyancy
- The grounds are beautiful
- Arizona is a good place to be nekkid in (apart from the cactus)
- The resort started as a dude ranch, Katherine Hepburn & Spencer Tracy guested there
Would I go again? In a heartbeat. Once my crap is moved from Ohio storage to Arizona, I'm saving up for a membership.
* For light-hearted and good-natured insight to 'nuddie' culture, I recommend a couple of Australian-based webcomics: the Koala Bares and Loxie & Zoot. I especially appreciate the variety of ages, bodies, races, and skin tones the writer/author uses.
There's a surprisingly simple answer: the guy lays down on his belly for a while & thinks cold thoughts. Failing that, all good nudists have a towel with them.
It's good manners not to ask a guy why he's on his belly or wearing a towel.
"OMG NAKIE PEOPLE!" spazz spazz spazzz
The majority were middle-aged folks of varying sizes from thin to plus-sized. There were a couple hardbodies, there were sun-worshippers sporting deep tans, some short, some tall, several tattoos, even a couple plus-sizes (although I believe I was the largest one there by maybe 30-50 pounds), but I'd say most were mid-range size.