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RXN Special Report!
18 years ago
General
Hello, FA-goers! We are interrupting your regularly scheduled lives to bring you another breaking story. Off we go to special deputy correspondents Kris Reizer and Rando.
~~~~
Thanks, mark! Rando and I are here at the Street Festival in downtown Cornland, Illinois.
That's right, Kris, and the festivities are, well, soggy.
Your mom is soggy.
Your face is soggy!
Mr. Madden's soggy!
The banister's soggy!
Luckily!
In court!
With Star Fox!
...
Damn. I don't think I can beat that...
Wait, a minute, yes I can!
*Indeterminate Pod-Racing song*
...
Aaaaaanyway... Rando, what do you think of the lovely stores that have remained open for the sole purpose of suffering our pestilence?
Well, Kris, over here, there seems to be some kind of clothing store.
Oh.
My.
God.
NOOOOOOOO!!!
The clothes!
They're tacky! And the display models clash with the ugly wigs!
Calm down, Kris! I found a rainbow feather boa!
Oh, sweet Matilda!
Erm... yes.. While Kris finishes up with the boa, I shall continue our tour of the tacky clothing store. Oh, look! There's a sale-lady! Excuse me, but how would you describe your establishment?
Do you children plan on buying anything, or are you just going to molest the rest of my boas?
WHEE-HEEEEEEE!!!!
Don't be silly, Ma'am. He's just excited to be here. Now, why don't you tell me-
Rando! I found a bag shaped like a CORSET!
Sweet Jesus in valhalla! For the viewers at home, this object is a little hard plastic number, shaped like a pink and frilly corset. And now, Kris is proceeding with the investigation by-
Help! Police! There are teenagers in my store! No, no! They molested my boas, bound and gagged me and they're about to do unspeakable things with my corset-shaped bag! Hello? Hello?!
Erm... Rando, I think we should probably leave now.
Really? You think so? Oh look! A dark alleyway!
Eww.. thith alley ith trashy! Wonder Fox powers, activate!
...
Kris... What are you doing?
Finished! And see? Thith old, duthty alley ith now a fantabulouth trendy cafe!
...
Seid umschlungen, Millionen!
Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!...
Why are you singing 'Ode to Joy?'
Oh, no reason. I think it's time to turn off the cameras, don't you, Kris?
What? We've only just-
Don't you, Kris?
Erm... right.... Well, you saw it here, everyone! The best of downtown champaign as can be explored by only two band geeks at 11 PM! RXN News Network out!
~~~~
Thanks, mark! Rando and I are here at the Street Festival in downtown Cornland, Illinois.
That's right, Kris, and the festivities are, well, soggy.
Your mom is soggy.
Your face is soggy!
Mr. Madden's soggy!
The banister's soggy!
Luckily!
In court!
With Star Fox!
...
Damn. I don't think I can beat that...
Wait, a minute, yes I can!
*Indeterminate Pod-Racing song*
...
Aaaaaanyway... Rando, what do you think of the lovely stores that have remained open for the sole purpose of suffering our pestilence?
Well, Kris, over here, there seems to be some kind of clothing store.
Oh.
My.
God.
NOOOOOOOO!!!
The clothes!
They're tacky! And the display models clash with the ugly wigs!
Calm down, Kris! I found a rainbow feather boa!
Oh, sweet Matilda!
Erm... yes.. While Kris finishes up with the boa, I shall continue our tour of the tacky clothing store. Oh, look! There's a sale-lady! Excuse me, but how would you describe your establishment?
Do you children plan on buying anything, or are you just going to molest the rest of my boas?
WHEE-HEEEEEEE!!!!
Don't be silly, Ma'am. He's just excited to be here. Now, why don't you tell me-
Rando! I found a bag shaped like a CORSET!
Sweet Jesus in valhalla! For the viewers at home, this object is a little hard plastic number, shaped like a pink and frilly corset. And now, Kris is proceeding with the investigation by-
Help! Police! There are teenagers in my store! No, no! They molested my boas, bound and gagged me and they're about to do unspeakable things with my corset-shaped bag! Hello? Hello?!
Erm... Rando, I think we should probably leave now.
Really? You think so? Oh look! A dark alleyway!
Eww.. thith alley ith trashy! Wonder Fox powers, activate!
...
Kris... What are you doing?
Finished! And see? Thith old, duthty alley ith now a fantabulouth trendy cafe!
...
Seid umschlungen, Millionen!
Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!...
Why are you singing 'Ode to Joy?'
Oh, no reason. I think it's time to turn off the cameras, don't you, Kris?
What? We've only just-
Don't you, Kris?
Erm... right.... Well, you saw it here, everyone! The best of downtown champaign as can be explored by only two band geeks at 11 PM! RXN News Network out!
here's my account, though not quite as entertaining as yours ^_^:
http://almightyrando.ebloggy.com/