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Orientation Meeting
15 years ago
*All the new members of W.E.I.G.H are in the same room. Suddenly, 2 large gorillas wearing black suits enter and place a laptop on the desk in the front. One of them opens it up, and the other pushes a button on it. From the laptop comes a voice that is obviously fed through a voice filter.*
Mr. BIG: Thank you for coming, everyone, and to our new recruits, welcome to W.E.I.G.H! My name is unimportant, so feel free to call me Mr. BIG. I am the both the current leader of this organization and it's founder. Now, so i know who's who on my web cam, will all the new members and faculty staff here today please stand up?
*Every new recruit stands up*
Mr. BIG: Wow, quite a number out there, and such fine-looking recruits! You can now sit down. Now, let me give you a rundown of our organization's hierarchy. As you already know, I am the leader, and below me are the 3 Vice-Leaders. Will the Vice-Leaders please stand up?
*3 figures in the front stand up. One of them is a grizzly-looking Bald Eagle wearing a military uniform. Another is a lean rabbit with a white lab-coat and glasses. The last one is a very large, very fat elephant, wearing jeans and a t-shirt that barely covers his enormous gut*
Mr. BIG: Ah, there you are... Now, those of you working in our Espionage Sector will be working under Captain Virgil Beeks.
*The eagle gives a well-hearted salute to the crowd*
Mr. BIG: Those of you working in the Science/Research sector of Expansion Division will be working under Head Scientist, Dr. David Haaker.
*The rabbit adjusts his glasses and smiles in response*
Mr. BIG: And finally, everyone working in the Inflation sector of Expansion Division will be working under Mr. Ross Rodewald.
*The large pachyderm pats his gut, chuckling*
Mr. BIG: These three, along with the many other faculty members in this facility will help mold you into a proud, successful agent. We will let you know who they are by submitting profiles of each member. If you have any questions about them, or what they do, please send them a comment containing your question on their profile submission. If you have any questions for me, please send me a note. Now, I'm gonna hand it over to one of our best agents, Vaughn Blondetail. Thank you for listening, and godspeed! Blondetail, you can take it from here.
*A blonde-furred cat in a black outfit steps up to the front of the room and pushes the "OFF" button on the laptop. He looks very lean, and has long, yellow head-fur*
Vaughn: Thank you, sir. Hello, everyone! My name is Vaughn Blondetail, and I am an agent here at W.E.I.G.H. Rather than being either an Infiltrator or an Inflator, I can perform the duties of both. Now, before you say how cool I am, I have to tell you, being both is NOT easy. You have to both be able to infiltrate enemy territory, and be able to inflate the target, AND get out of there without drawing too much attention.
Anyway, as you might have read from our recruitment letter, W.E.I.G.H is a secret organization that inflates and fattens bad people in the world, like criminal bosses, evil dictators and supervillains. And the way we get close to them is with specially-trained agents of spying. In fact, we think that the W, E, and I in W.E.I.G.H also stand for: Warfare, Espionage, and Infiltration.
Now, there are 3 basic rules that every good agent should follow in order to obtain a succesful mission.
1. Secrecy is Safety. We want to keep our organization a secret from the common world, even certain branches of the government. So keep the fact that you're an agent of W.E.I.G.H top-secret. Don't admit it to anyone unless you want to recruit them. ESPECIALLY your friends and family!
2. Hwami is your Best Friend. *pulls out a vial of purple stuff* This vial is what has kept this organization underground and secret for years. The serum, developed and created by Dr. Haaker, has the ability to make whoever is injected with it lose their memory. How much memory is determined by the amount injected. The Hwami gun is a specialized weapon that allows you to fire darts containing this stuff. DO NOT TAKE IT LIGHTLY! If you let info of our organization blab out, shoot a dart at anyone you think heard it. If you are compromised during a mission, shoot anyone you see and run. If you are captured and held hostage, use the Hwami pill in your pocket on yourself. We promise we will retrieve you safely.
3. Teamwork is Diversity. Every mission that we give out will require at least 2 people. But every team must have at least one Inflator, and one Infiltrator. Teams with only one type of agent are destined for failure. You must have both parts in order to succeed. Trust your partner with your life, and you will be thankful for it.
Now, that concludes today's orientation. Now, does anyone have any questions that haven't been answered?
Mr. BIG: Thank you for coming, everyone, and to our new recruits, welcome to W.E.I.G.H! My name is unimportant, so feel free to call me Mr. BIG. I am the both the current leader of this organization and it's founder. Now, so i know who's who on my web cam, will all the new members and faculty staff here today please stand up?
*Every new recruit stands up*
Mr. BIG: Wow, quite a number out there, and such fine-looking recruits! You can now sit down. Now, let me give you a rundown of our organization's hierarchy. As you already know, I am the leader, and below me are the 3 Vice-Leaders. Will the Vice-Leaders please stand up?
*3 figures in the front stand up. One of them is a grizzly-looking Bald Eagle wearing a military uniform. Another is a lean rabbit with a white lab-coat and glasses. The last one is a very large, very fat elephant, wearing jeans and a t-shirt that barely covers his enormous gut*
Mr. BIG: Ah, there you are... Now, those of you working in our Espionage Sector will be working under Captain Virgil Beeks.
*The eagle gives a well-hearted salute to the crowd*
Mr. BIG: Those of you working in the Science/Research sector of Expansion Division will be working under Head Scientist, Dr. David Haaker.
*The rabbit adjusts his glasses and smiles in response*
Mr. BIG: And finally, everyone working in the Inflation sector of Expansion Division will be working under Mr. Ross Rodewald.
*The large pachyderm pats his gut, chuckling*
Mr. BIG: These three, along with the many other faculty members in this facility will help mold you into a proud, successful agent. We will let you know who they are by submitting profiles of each member. If you have any questions about them, or what they do, please send them a comment containing your question on their profile submission. If you have any questions for me, please send me a note. Now, I'm gonna hand it over to one of our best agents, Vaughn Blondetail. Thank you for listening, and godspeed! Blondetail, you can take it from here.
*A blonde-furred cat in a black outfit steps up to the front of the room and pushes the "OFF" button on the laptop. He looks very lean, and has long, yellow head-fur*
Vaughn: Thank you, sir. Hello, everyone! My name is Vaughn Blondetail, and I am an agent here at W.E.I.G.H. Rather than being either an Infiltrator or an Inflator, I can perform the duties of both. Now, before you say how cool I am, I have to tell you, being both is NOT easy. You have to both be able to infiltrate enemy territory, and be able to inflate the target, AND get out of there without drawing too much attention.
Anyway, as you might have read from our recruitment letter, W.E.I.G.H is a secret organization that inflates and fattens bad people in the world, like criminal bosses, evil dictators and supervillains. And the way we get close to them is with specially-trained agents of spying. In fact, we think that the W, E, and I in W.E.I.G.H also stand for: Warfare, Espionage, and Infiltration.
Now, there are 3 basic rules that every good agent should follow in order to obtain a succesful mission.
1. Secrecy is Safety. We want to keep our organization a secret from the common world, even certain branches of the government. So keep the fact that you're an agent of W.E.I.G.H top-secret. Don't admit it to anyone unless you want to recruit them. ESPECIALLY your friends and family!
2. Hwami is your Best Friend. *pulls out a vial of purple stuff* This vial is what has kept this organization underground and secret for years. The serum, developed and created by Dr. Haaker, has the ability to make whoever is injected with it lose their memory. How much memory is determined by the amount injected. The Hwami gun is a specialized weapon that allows you to fire darts containing this stuff. DO NOT TAKE IT LIGHTLY! If you let info of our organization blab out, shoot a dart at anyone you think heard it. If you are compromised during a mission, shoot anyone you see and run. If you are captured and held hostage, use the Hwami pill in your pocket on yourself. We promise we will retrieve you safely.
3. Teamwork is Diversity. Every mission that we give out will require at least 2 people. But every team must have at least one Inflator, and one Infiltrator. Teams with only one type of agent are destined for failure. You must have both parts in order to succeed. Trust your partner with your life, and you will be thankful for it.
Now, that concludes today's orientation. Now, does anyone have any questions that haven't been answered?
Thank you.
Thank you.