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15 years ago
I have recently been going through what i would call my own personal hell in friends. When you know that you don't have a best friend in the world it makes you feel so lonely. You could be surrounded by a billion different people and still know you could slip and fall break a leg and no one would try getting a hold of you for weeks and then they'd be sympathetic but deep down they wouldn't care.honestly i don't have close friends i have distant friends. Recently the only person who i though was my best friend has been totally ignoring me after telling me that he hung out with me because he feels sorry for me and for his own sanity, meaning that he's been using me for the past few years and frankly I hate those pardon my French, No good stupid fucking assholes that only give a fuck about themselves and how they are and where they are in their own fucking lives and then take it out on others.
I have also been dealing with bouts of depression here and there. If something doesn't change soon... i don't know. My last serious bout almost cost me dearly (if you want to know more, doubtful you will email me at mikejohn14@sbcblobal.net). I have had it with all of this stupid stuff that's been going on. The older i get the further i separate myself from others because I'm a doormat. You think you know someone then they can totally destroy the relationship whether it be friends or girlfriends(not that i would know much about the latter only having one and the whole relationship was over because of a miss communication).
So in short my life is a bunch of shit and im tired of it. i know other peoples lives are worse but it still is a bunch a shit when it happens to you. Well to anyone who read this thanks for listening to my bitching and moaning, doing this helps me get over my frustrations.
I have also been dealing with bouts of depression here and there. If something doesn't change soon... i don't know. My last serious bout almost cost me dearly (if you want to know more, doubtful you will email me at mikejohn14@sbcblobal.net). I have had it with all of this stupid stuff that's been going on. The older i get the further i separate myself from others because I'm a doormat. You think you know someone then they can totally destroy the relationship whether it be friends or girlfriends(not that i would know much about the latter only having one and the whole relationship was over because of a miss communication).
So in short my life is a bunch of shit and im tired of it. i know other peoples lives are worse but it still is a bunch a shit when it happens to you. Well to anyone who read this thanks for listening to my bitching and moaning, doing this helps me get over my frustrations.
I know others probably think this is gonna sound corny, but I believe that God loves me no matter what and he will never leave me. Even in times where I feel I have lost everything, I still believe, because I realize that life is far from perfect and that God doesn't promise an easy and carefree life. He only promises to always be there for you and help you pull through if you have faith in Him. I know this sounds like religious crap but this is honestly the thing that I believe has gotten me through a lot of the stuff I've been through in life.
You can do what you want. Free world and all. :P But you have much to be thankful for really. You are alive! You have opportunities to be successful and influence others. You have a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and clothes on your back - a warm bed to sleep in on cold nights. You've got friends, whether you know it or not. You just have to find them. ;3 Sure life could be better, but life could be worse. Try to think of how life could be worse and the things that you've got that others do not, and be thankful for those things. If you are ambitious enough, nothing can hold you back and keep you from making a name for yourself. Opportunities are out there, you just gotta know where and how to find them.