I've been through shit my entire life--family problems, failing in school, medical problems, injuries, heartbreak, never having enough money for things I want and almost never having money for things I need, being discriminated against, all this shit that's brought me down...they've all added up and worn me down over the years...I'd always figured that one of two things was the case: One, I had done something horrible to somebody in a past life somewhere, or two I was due for something really really good and all the bad things were a sort of...karmic pre-set balance. Today, I think...I think that it may have been the second one...because the best thing to ever happen to me is happening now....

I found true, real love.

This isn't something to do with hormones, and it's not just simple attraction of ideas or of appearance, or anything like that. Vipes (:amnail:) and I have been friends for about a year now (if I remember correctly), and we've remained true friends throughout everything we've gone through together. I'd helped him with his problems and cheered him up (and gave him a few free t-shirts), and he'd always returned the kindness by getting me out of my depressed streaks and calming me down whenever I'd lost control over something (and he also gave me a free bottle of peelz with Louis on the side). I've been through shit with other lovers and my relationships had never worked out for me, mainly because of their sheer impossibility in circumstance--throughout life I'd always attracted the pathological liars and the drifters. He helped me through that shit as well, when he could. Love had always faded away, but love with those others didn't come as an almost sibling-level love tempered by pain, friendship, looking out for each other, and frankly just being assholes to each other when times required it to get motivated to do what needed to be done. Vipes does not feel bicurious, and he isn't homosexual or bisexual. This love didn't come from physical or sexual attraction. We've never even seen each other. We just match, and that match goes far beyond simple personality quirks and likes/dislikes. It's the most beautiful kind of love there really is, and...it's the reason that I'm going to become female. In the real world. I'm not going to quote our entire discussion about it for personal reasons, but we've both agreed that it's the best choice...I do this not just for him but for myself. I don't need to explain myself past that point.

Vipes, I love you as a friend and mate. Thank you for telling me how you felt.