What 2010 Has Taught Me
15 years ago
Oh noes, an opinione! It's taught me that nomatter how much of a selfless, unconditional, loving person you are life will find a way to tear your heart out and shit in the hole it leaves behind.
It will leave you a bitter, jealous, lacklustre husk of a person on top of everything you were.
There will be no sympathy, or empathy, or anything of the sort.
Just the gradually dawning realisation that you've yet again become another nobody.
Feelings have just been compounded in the last few months to a point I just can't see any good left in everything I used to hold dear.
I wish I could just say I don't care anymore, but that's the saddest part of this. I can't stop caring. I can't stop loving. Like a loyal dog I will take all the beatings in the world and still keep on loving, because I must somehow deserve them.
I miss everything I used to have. I want them all back but I can't ever have them.
A lot of you have something precious. Keep a hold of it and never take it for granted, because when you have it it makes the world that much of a brighter place.
I've tried being happy and it never worked out, so I can safely say I am not the architect of my own misery. I'm merely it's plaything.
This is what 2010 has taught me. I will continue to learn, but perhaps this is all I really need to know anymore. I will be disappointed by everything.
It will leave you a bitter, jealous, lacklustre husk of a person on top of everything you were.
There will be no sympathy, or empathy, or anything of the sort.
Just the gradually dawning realisation that you've yet again become another nobody.
Feelings have just been compounded in the last few months to a point I just can't see any good left in everything I used to hold dear.
I wish I could just say I don't care anymore, but that's the saddest part of this. I can't stop caring. I can't stop loving. Like a loyal dog I will take all the beatings in the world and still keep on loving, because I must somehow deserve them.
I miss everything I used to have. I want them all back but I can't ever have them.
A lot of you have something precious. Keep a hold of it and never take it for granted, because when you have it it makes the world that much of a brighter place.
I've tried being happy and it never worked out, so I can safely say I am not the architect of my own misery. I'm merely it's plaything.
This is what 2010 has taught me. I will continue to learn, but perhaps this is all I really need to know anymore. I will be disappointed by everything.
FA+

Get MEAN. Get a little selfish. Get your own life back on track before worrying about other people.
If you want to look at it in a more caring light: how can you be in a position to help anyone else when you cannot even help yourself?
Much m'dear.
I agree with kicking some ass. It may seem hard (okay, very hard) but once you get there, it's a lot easier to handle.
Have strength in yourself, burd. I know you may not think you have it in yah, but you do. Being miserable is easy; being happy takes effort. Sometimes, a LOT of effort, but I know you can do it. Believe in me, who believes in you.
*hugs*