earlier this week, a random depression hit me, i couldn't understand it untill today. His parents had to hack his e-mail account to tell everyone he knew that he died in a car crash... he lived so far away, yet i felt him die without my own eyes seeing it... I felt like... He was the only one who understood the way i feel, see and hear things... and now he is gone... my only friend who actually listened to everything i said, no matter if it was important or not... T.T i feel like giving up... but something deep down inside is calling me, that i am needed for something... important... i do not understand why i am feeling the loss before i knew it, or why i feel like i am actually needed somewhere, but for whatever reason, i must go on if i am needed... "and though you're dead and gone believe me your memory will carry on, we'll carry on..." just popped into my head as i was typing, and it's right.... my friend's memory will carry on... it is kind of odd but i just posted that site where the song that has that quote from yesterday... well... i will carry on and maybe... i will be able to find someone else who was just as understanding as he was. all i need......... is faith and friends who will help me make it to the day i am needed. even though i can't go to his funeral, i bet whenever it is, whereever it is... i am sure my spirit will be. and that is all i really have to type for now, I hope that someone will cheer me up, every damn person who i have tried to talk to about it just tells me to shut up and go away... T.T EDIT: i am in even deeper depression... seems like everyone i watch skips to the bottom and only give thx for the watches i have been giving... no one has even hinted about my depression... yet i still feel like i am needed for somethin important... EDIT: wow... people are caring now, so ignore the previous edit