I'm done crying now. It hurts to think of seeing him with another guy but I will live. And I will remain friends with him so when he fucks up another person like he did me, I can comfort the victim to his love games. He played his game, but I played too. Of course not without some help from a friend...
Oddly enough my PVCs are starting to fade with the anxiety.
I had fun last night... I stayed at Charles' house and had a big threesome cuddle. Of course only Charles could sleep until about 1:30 A.M. so the cage fighter and I got up to tire ourselves out a little... I must admit it was odd the way he kissed... But I adapted to his style because he wasn't gonna adapt to mine...
So much has changed in so little of time. I'm glad nothing is slowing down, it'd only give me more time with my thoughts. They aren't my friend. But is it a bad thing to still want someone you had for nearly seven months? Yeah, he hurt me. But it doesn't change the way I feel. Don't worry Cookie and Kristorz... I'm not going back. It'd be easy to forgive and forget but sometimes forgiving means you have to realize that he doesn't have a heart... As he said "You can't break what's already shattered..."
Attention..
I love it. But I think he wants it more. He says he has all these problems and refuses to tell anyone what they are. Being selfish, inconsiderate and hateful aren't problems, they're personality flaws.


I rest in peace knowing one day, what's "shattered" will be broken. One day, he'll sleep in the bed he has made for himself. Karma. And when he does, my friendship won't end with him. I'll just simply lean back and laugh at him. One day, you'll see, Joey Raby I'll have the last laugh.