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T therapy, one week later (NBPM pt.15)
15 years ago
Halfway there!
In documenting my results after an injection of testosterone, one week later:
For probably most of 2010, I had been feeling pretty shitty all the time. I was regularly getting 5-6 hours of sleep a night, and by 2pm I just wanted to curl up under my desk and cry, either from exhaustion or stress. When I would get home, I'd have a migraine and wouldn't want to do anything. In the mornings, I used to feel like complete ass. You know that groggy feeling you get when you get almost no sleep? I was like that until noon pretty much every day. Half the reason I went to work so early was so I could snooze at my desk without being seen. I got real good at micronapping. :( Then at the end of the day I felt like I got nothing done, and I'd be anxious as fuck about EVERYTHING. Sunday nights were the worst, because I'd be freaking out about the upcoming week, and how it felt like climbing out from the bottom of a pit.
Almost immediately after
semjay poked me with the stuff, I began to feel a lot better. I have been able to concentrate better, and I'm not constantly feeling like death by 4pm. I have yet to make it through a Monday-8am meeting (protip: it's impossible), but the rest of the day I feel fantastic. At the end of the day, I don't feel anxious at all. If I'm ever in a bad mood, it's usually because of something that ticked me off, rather than fear or apprehension or arbitrary thoughts.
One thing I'm noticing is that in the last few weeks I've gained a bit of weight. I weigh myself nightly before my shower, and it had always been hanging around the 160-163 range, and last night it was 166. (Note: I'm 6' 1.5") It was after a huge, delicious dinner, though. I'm beginning to wonder if my constant lack of energy was causing me to eat lots of crap? Gonna try to watch what I eat for a while.
So I tried exercising tonight, because I can! I've always had the option, but before this week I could barely muster the energy to play Beatmania- how lazy! And that brings me to my second note: I think the T has raised my heart rate in general slightly. Sometimes after a good yawn in the morning, I can feel my HR drop to 50 or lower. I've noticed that it seems to be beating a little faster in general. Probably has something to do with the fact that I'm no longer in a perpetual semi-conscious state, though.
As far as exercising goes, I feel kinda out of shape. My 'poison' is silly dancing games. Ever since I found the leaked beta build of the In The Groove 2 for PS2, I've been meaning to play it more. I hooked up my heart monitor and proceeded to kill myself :D. My heart rate seemed reasonable for the easier songs, but peaked at 200 during Know Your Enemy EX- it's really not THAT tough, c'mon. Then just for lulz I tried Vertex^2 EX again. I got through the bass-rush before the big big speed-up, and noticed I was already at 203. Sheeeeesh. Further proof that Max-HR algorithms are baloney! I quit after that because I don't want to feel hung over tomorrow. My doctor says to aim for a target around 150bpm, but it takes surprisingly little to exceed that. It's really weird.
My new-found energy has some down-sides, though. Sometimes it's hard to get to sleep. I've always had problems settling down to sleep at night, which is why I always have music playing. Before my injection, I would be konked out within minutes. Oh well. I also tend to wake up suddenly sometimes. Last night I woke up at 3:30 because I thought it was time to get up. I woke myself at 4:30 and 5:45 as well. When my alarm went off at 6:15 I didn't feel like getting up! I also had weeeeeird dreams. You know you're in a strange dream when you are aware of waking up immediately after resuming sleep. I dreamed I was at work early because I had actually gotten out of bed that first time.
I just feel so good! I luffs my semjay for figuring out my brokenness.
Good news! Tomorrow is my Friday. I'm taking off Wednesday to pack, and then I'll be arriving at ORD around 14:00 on Thursday. Come buy shit from my on Friday! I HAVE HAAAAAATS
In documenting my results after an injection of testosterone, one week later:
For probably most of 2010, I had been feeling pretty shitty all the time. I was regularly getting 5-6 hours of sleep a night, and by 2pm I just wanted to curl up under my desk and cry, either from exhaustion or stress. When I would get home, I'd have a migraine and wouldn't want to do anything. In the mornings, I used to feel like complete ass. You know that groggy feeling you get when you get almost no sleep? I was like that until noon pretty much every day. Half the reason I went to work so early was so I could snooze at my desk without being seen. I got real good at micronapping. :( Then at the end of the day I felt like I got nothing done, and I'd be anxious as fuck about EVERYTHING. Sunday nights were the worst, because I'd be freaking out about the upcoming week, and how it felt like climbing out from the bottom of a pit.
Almost immediately after
semjay poked me with the stuff, I began to feel a lot better. I have been able to concentrate better, and I'm not constantly feeling like death by 4pm. I have yet to make it through a Monday-8am meeting (protip: it's impossible), but the rest of the day I feel fantastic. At the end of the day, I don't feel anxious at all. If I'm ever in a bad mood, it's usually because of something that ticked me off, rather than fear or apprehension or arbitrary thoughts.One thing I'm noticing is that in the last few weeks I've gained a bit of weight. I weigh myself nightly before my shower, and it had always been hanging around the 160-163 range, and last night it was 166. (Note: I'm 6' 1.5") It was after a huge, delicious dinner, though. I'm beginning to wonder if my constant lack of energy was causing me to eat lots of crap? Gonna try to watch what I eat for a while.
So I tried exercising tonight, because I can! I've always had the option, but before this week I could barely muster the energy to play Beatmania- how lazy! And that brings me to my second note: I think the T has raised my heart rate in general slightly. Sometimes after a good yawn in the morning, I can feel my HR drop to 50 or lower. I've noticed that it seems to be beating a little faster in general. Probably has something to do with the fact that I'm no longer in a perpetual semi-conscious state, though.
As far as exercising goes, I feel kinda out of shape. My 'poison' is silly dancing games. Ever since I found the leaked beta build of the In The Groove 2 for PS2, I've been meaning to play it more. I hooked up my heart monitor and proceeded to kill myself :D. My heart rate seemed reasonable for the easier songs, but peaked at 200 during Know Your Enemy EX- it's really not THAT tough, c'mon. Then just for lulz I tried Vertex^2 EX again. I got through the bass-rush before the big big speed-up, and noticed I was already at 203. Sheeeeesh. Further proof that Max-HR algorithms are baloney! I quit after that because I don't want to feel hung over tomorrow. My doctor says to aim for a target around 150bpm, but it takes surprisingly little to exceed that. It's really weird.
My new-found energy has some down-sides, though. Sometimes it's hard to get to sleep. I've always had problems settling down to sleep at night, which is why I always have music playing. Before my injection, I would be konked out within minutes. Oh well. I also tend to wake up suddenly sometimes. Last night I woke up at 3:30 because I thought it was time to get up. I woke myself at 4:30 and 5:45 as well. When my alarm went off at 6:15 I didn't feel like getting up! I also had weeeeeird dreams. You know you're in a strange dream when you are aware of waking up immediately after resuming sleep. I dreamed I was at work early because I had actually gotten out of bed that first time.
I just feel so good! I luffs my
semjay for figuring out my brokenness.Good news! Tomorrow is my Friday. I'm taking off Wednesday to pack, and then I'll be arriving at ORD around 14:00 on Thursday. Come buy shit from my on Friday! I HAVE HAAAAAATS
Tyzin
~tyzin
don't be afraid of weight gain. it may be muscle gain. that's not really a bad thing. ORD?
