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Kind of a scary thought...
15 years ago
General
Ya know how I been pissing and moaning about how I've been hurtin' more than usual? Something hit me today and it's a not good thing.
I am taking a med called Neurontin. It has a lot of uses, it helps inhibit siezures and has a good anti depressant bit, and for ME it's nerve pain and helps my mind settle to sleep.
Thing is, I'm hurtin' now and I'm on nerve pain inhibitors on such a level that I gotta go in periodically for liver and kidney functions. I'm 35 and wondering what the next 35 years are gonna feel like.
Then that gives in to more thoughts. Like... what is it that's gonna do me in? Liver failure? Cancer? Even if it's old age what PART of old age? Stroke? Or just a system shut down as one thing fails after another and another until everything else just collapses under the strain.
Now... I aint crippled at the moment. Most of it is gonna be treatable with physical therapy. I just wonder... how much LIFE is left in me sometimes. There's being a living thing... and then there's being alive. How much time do I have being alive before I become just a living thing?
Ever wonder that for yourself?
I am taking a med called Neurontin. It has a lot of uses, it helps inhibit siezures and has a good anti depressant bit, and for ME it's nerve pain and helps my mind settle to sleep.
Thing is, I'm hurtin' now and I'm on nerve pain inhibitors on such a level that I gotta go in periodically for liver and kidney functions. I'm 35 and wondering what the next 35 years are gonna feel like.
Then that gives in to more thoughts. Like... what is it that's gonna do me in? Liver failure? Cancer? Even if it's old age what PART of old age? Stroke? Or just a system shut down as one thing fails after another and another until everything else just collapses under the strain.
Now... I aint crippled at the moment. Most of it is gonna be treatable with physical therapy. I just wonder... how much LIFE is left in me sometimes. There's being a living thing... and then there's being alive. How much time do I have being alive before I become just a living thing?
Ever wonder that for yourself?
MrInitialMan
~mrinitialman
It's definately hit me ever since I turned 30. Am I too old to do what I've wanted to do my entire life?
Karno
~karno
You're not too old if you're willing to live with the conseqences. Mental toughness counts for more than physical strength in almost all contests.
addlesee
∞addlesee
And you know what kind of train wreck I am.
Duntov475
!duntov475
OP
Yeah, doing all we can to keep ourselves together.
Motoro
~motoro
When you are born you are already dying. What day will be my last? Fuck it... Why worry about it. I am here now. LETS FUCK SHIT UP!
Duntov475
!duntov475
OP
And at the same time... from the moment we're born we're constantly being born AGAIN. Every cell in your body has died and been replaced. You're merely a carbon copy of yourself with a slight variation each time. Even your soul has been changed so much that can you really consider it you? Everything you feared as a baby you no longer fear, everything you liked you now dislike, and everything you saw since you were a baby you have forgotten...
Motoro
~motoro
Yeah. Puberty was a bitch!
tefloncougar
~tefloncougar
Sounds like you warranty has expired. I think mine is about up as well some days.
Duntov475
!duntov475
OP
Yeah, and just got more news. My good cholesterol is in the 30s... which is like... rediculously low. My triglyceride are 400... which I guess is really bad.
tefloncougar
~tefloncougar
A lot of it is genetic. Even when I was sitting and eating high fat food my cholesterol was in the good range.
Duntov475
!duntov475
OP
That's the truth. Cholesterol issues plague mom's side of the family and that's where I seem to get most of my traits. I'll have to eat better than I do. Kinda hard since I eat a lot at work and we pretty much fry everything... even ice cream.
AngelFyre
~angelfyre
the days i come waddlin into the house cuz the arthritis in my knees n hips is bad are the days i wonder how im gonna continue on....
Frozen-EC
~frozen-ec
I'm kinda lost here. So you have some sort of an ilness/disorder?
Duntov475
!duntov475
OP
Lots of little things. Chronic insomnia and all the meds I have to take to get a good nights sleep beats up on my kidneys and liver. Plus my body has this annoying habit of growing extra bones where there aren't supposed to be any. Like behind my right acheles tendon I have a marble sized calcium deposit.
Frozen-EC
~frozen-ec
Ouch... I dunno what to say, really.
