That's because you're battling, what is literally, your toughest opponent ever, yourself. Its not easy and you're gonna fail from time to time. I'm gonna sound cheesy, but this is brutal honesty... You have to keep trying until you succeed and don't think of success as 100% success rate because that only makes you think that you suck more whenever you falter.

Ingrained behavior isn't something that is easy to fix, nor is something that can be cured 100% of the time. Retraining yourself is similar to retraining your dog, except you don't have someone around to smack you with a rolled-up newspaper everytime you do something wrong except yourself and no one likes to smack themselves with a rolled-up newspaper.

Trust me, I do the same things myself. We are probably a lot alike Koda, so I'll just give you the same advice I tell myself. Try, when you fail, try again. Accept that you will fail, but as long as you keep trying, you're not giving up. Just keep trying. Just keep trying.

aww, I know what you mean. I think everyone deals with this stuff at some point in their life (if not several times :P) It may take a while, we all grow and change through out our lives. I know I still have some stuff to better in my life.

If you are every free lemme know, I'd love to play some board games again sometime. :)