To often in life, life seems like it's not worth living. one terrible thing after another, only rain when what we need more then life itself is sun. I've lost my scholarship to my college. But i suppose it speaks to who i am that as i write this i realize and feel guilty, because there are many who don't even get the attempt at college had. take it from me, being a hero sucks in this twisted world. So i find myself writing another depressing journal. is there hope? yes, there is, i may be able to stay at the college, if not, i can switch to another nearby one. either way, this has put me under intense stress and emotional pain. more or less like ever other big thing in my life has so far, with only a few exceptions. I'm not going to give up. but i'm not getting through this unscarred either. This has been one of the worst case scenarios for my college career, and yet again in my life, a worst case scenario has come true. i'll see everyone later, hope you're all doing better then i am right now. may your holidays be happy.