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Reflections (Copied from DA)
15 years ago
I'm not sure why, but this is something I've been wanting to get off my chest for a long time, and haven't had the time to say it. It reflects on the previous 2+ years on YouTube, and my thoughts on the so called 'YT Furry War' I was part of. If I offend anyone, I really don't care at this point. If this seems tl;dr, then I suggest you hit the back button, or do whatever. Some things need to be said, regardless if I hurt some feelings. No one has ever put mine into account anyways. On a side note, I'm not looking for pity, just an ear. Perhaps I can save some poor soul from making the same mistakes I did.
Looking back to the beginning, I only entered the whole YouTube war fling because I'd seen someone was being attacked for speaking his mind. It angered me that no one at all would help this person, even in his darkest hour. Of course, he represented a lot of things one wouldn't call 'normal'. Immoral, even. Being the person I WAS, I rushed in to his aid. He stood for a lot of things I did, and I usually always rooted for the underdog anyways. Little did I know, in that moment, it would start a rough and rocky trail that would lead to the person I am today. A coward.
As time grew, so did my fanbase. For every person who hated me, 2 ppl liked me. I was in the middle of something, at that time, was pretty big to me. I trusted too many, but was still cautious. There are ppl I made friends w/ then that I regret. Ppl who, not too long ago, drop kicked our friendship w/out so much as a reason. I suppose it was alright, since I didn't want one if they were going to be that way. I even recall one of my other closest friends pushing a troll to make a vid about something I represented (not aimed at me, though) in order to not be trolled by this person. After close examination, I'd read through comments that I was the center of the conversation that lead to this vid. The troll didn't care about their opinions, never did. As far as I'm concerned, they knew I'd be the one attacked after he made the vid, but as long as they weren't being trolled, it was alright. There IS a block button, you know.
But it doesn't surprise me. Furries are quick to judge and throw someone under a bus if it'll save their own ass. Even their closest friends. Being a furry, and seeing this, I held on to some dignity and decided I'd never make that decision. I'd look away if my friends were in trouble, whereas before I wouldn't, but I'd NEVER sacrifice one of my friends to save my own ass. NEVER. Though I've never discussed this problem later w/ my 'friend', it has been boiling inside me a bit, even though this was a while back. We rarely talk anymore. If by any chance you're reading this, and know it's you, though, thanx. Thanx for being there for me. MUCH appreciated.
And before some rambling idiot bitches about 'OMG! It'S OKAy to hVaE an opinion!!1!!' I'm not complaining about that, nor did I say that. Shove that accusation up your ass.
After the whole 'Furry Ops' fiasco, I settled down, and left my friends to defend themselves. I'd turned into a coward, something I couldn't stand. I was on the verge of having my dox released, before I struck a deal w/ the devil to save my own ass. I didn't put anyone under the chopping block but me. To this day, I'm not sorry for what happened in FO. I suppose I was just taking the internet too seriously, like a lot of newfag trolls do these days.
As time went on, I understood that many of the trolls I'd battled w/ were seriously only doing it for laughs. Hell, I've even become friends w/ most of them. NotAHappyDragon was one I hated the most, yet I look at him as a good friend now. (BTW, thanx Cid)
But something else reared it's ugly head. Furries who deemed themselves 'logical' because they thought the fandom wasn't perfect because it wasn't in their image. Yeah, after the 'war' thing, I ran into a lot of these idiots. God forbid someone likes yiff to these ppl. In my opinion, (which I, unlike 90% of the furry populace, understand that opinions don't amount to shit) they're worse then trolls. There's nothing I can't stand more then over-opinionated ppl. But over-opinionated ppl who BELIEVE that their opinions are 'better' or 'right', yet continue to deem themselves 'logical'? Get a fucking grip. It's a fucking fandom, morons. One that I'm no longer proud of because of ppl like you, but yet continue to be a part of because I do enjoy it.
Last, but not least, I think the thing that has scarred me more then anything is my fursona, Jaymz Mutz. Looking back on everything I've said, (and haven't said) Jaymz Mutz looks like nothing more then a large, grotesque battle scar now. I hate saying that, I do. But it's the truth. He was created in the middle of that shitstorm on YT, and through all of it he's remained. Trolltards, false friendships, doxxing, all of it. He's taken an ass whoopin'. It pains me to say this. Perhaps, it's probably the reason I haven't done anything else w/ him as of late. I do plan on a FINAL story involving him, though. Closure. He's still my fursona, but I'm not sure if I'll ever do another 'My Fursona'.
I'm not directing this at any of my actual friends, though. You've been good to me, and I will continue to honor our friendship. Thank you.
Took me a lot of courage to say this, and honestly, I think I'm more proud of this then anything I've ever done in the last 2 years online.
Looking back to the beginning, I only entered the whole YouTube war fling because I'd seen someone was being attacked for speaking his mind. It angered me that no one at all would help this person, even in his darkest hour. Of course, he represented a lot of things one wouldn't call 'normal'. Immoral, even. Being the person I WAS, I rushed in to his aid. He stood for a lot of things I did, and I usually always rooted for the underdog anyways. Little did I know, in that moment, it would start a rough and rocky trail that would lead to the person I am today. A coward.
As time grew, so did my fanbase. For every person who hated me, 2 ppl liked me. I was in the middle of something, at that time, was pretty big to me. I trusted too many, but was still cautious. There are ppl I made friends w/ then that I regret. Ppl who, not too long ago, drop kicked our friendship w/out so much as a reason. I suppose it was alright, since I didn't want one if they were going to be that way. I even recall one of my other closest friends pushing a troll to make a vid about something I represented (not aimed at me, though) in order to not be trolled by this person. After close examination, I'd read through comments that I was the center of the conversation that lead to this vid. The troll didn't care about their opinions, never did. As far as I'm concerned, they knew I'd be the one attacked after he made the vid, but as long as they weren't being trolled, it was alright. There IS a block button, you know.
But it doesn't surprise me. Furries are quick to judge and throw someone under a bus if it'll save their own ass. Even their closest friends. Being a furry, and seeing this, I held on to some dignity and decided I'd never make that decision. I'd look away if my friends were in trouble, whereas before I wouldn't, but I'd NEVER sacrifice one of my friends to save my own ass. NEVER. Though I've never discussed this problem later w/ my 'friend', it has been boiling inside me a bit, even though this was a while back. We rarely talk anymore. If by any chance you're reading this, and know it's you, though, thanx. Thanx for being there for me. MUCH appreciated.
And before some rambling idiot bitches about 'OMG! It'S OKAy to hVaE an opinion!!1!!' I'm not complaining about that, nor did I say that. Shove that accusation up your ass.
After the whole 'Furry Ops' fiasco, I settled down, and left my friends to defend themselves. I'd turned into a coward, something I couldn't stand. I was on the verge of having my dox released, before I struck a deal w/ the devil to save my own ass. I didn't put anyone under the chopping block but me. To this day, I'm not sorry for what happened in FO. I suppose I was just taking the internet too seriously, like a lot of newfag trolls do these days.
As time went on, I understood that many of the trolls I'd battled w/ were seriously only doing it for laughs. Hell, I've even become friends w/ most of them. NotAHappyDragon was one I hated the most, yet I look at him as a good friend now. (BTW, thanx Cid)
But something else reared it's ugly head. Furries who deemed themselves 'logical' because they thought the fandom wasn't perfect because it wasn't in their image. Yeah, after the 'war' thing, I ran into a lot of these idiots. God forbid someone likes yiff to these ppl. In my opinion, (which I, unlike 90% of the furry populace, understand that opinions don't amount to shit) they're worse then trolls. There's nothing I can't stand more then over-opinionated ppl. But over-opinionated ppl who BELIEVE that their opinions are 'better' or 'right', yet continue to deem themselves 'logical'? Get a fucking grip. It's a fucking fandom, morons. One that I'm no longer proud of because of ppl like you, but yet continue to be a part of because I do enjoy it.
Last, but not least, I think the thing that has scarred me more then anything is my fursona, Jaymz Mutz. Looking back on everything I've said, (and haven't said) Jaymz Mutz looks like nothing more then a large, grotesque battle scar now. I hate saying that, I do. But it's the truth. He was created in the middle of that shitstorm on YT, and through all of it he's remained. Trolltards, false friendships, doxxing, all of it. He's taken an ass whoopin'. It pains me to say this. Perhaps, it's probably the reason I haven't done anything else w/ him as of late. I do plan on a FINAL story involving him, though. Closure. He's still my fursona, but I'm not sure if I'll ever do another 'My Fursona'.
I'm not directing this at any of my actual friends, though. You've been good to me, and I will continue to honor our friendship. Thank you.
Took me a lot of courage to say this, and honestly, I think I'm more proud of this then anything I've ever done in the last 2 years online.
>I accidentally the whole journal comments.