You Ever Confuse Yourself?
15 years ago
I've been thinking about myself a lot lately. Primarily about my sexuality. After a long string of failed relationships on both sides of the fence (8 or 9 was it now?), I've come to realize that I'm... pretty much a lesbian.
Yeah, I know some of you are thinking 'yeah, so? That seems a simple conclusion.' Here's where it gets complicated. That little 'pretty much' part. I've also come to realize that two guys I know... just -two- could make me walk the straighter line in life. I'm not gonna go naming names, though, sorry.... XP that info's classified.
Ironic twist is one is unavailable, the other I don't have that kind of interest in. I've had crushes on both these people in the past, too. More irony.
Three guesses why I'm bringing this up and what that means. I know I've said to some I'm not looking for a relationship right now. And really, I'm not. Not even looking at the ladies. Other than making this known publicly for personal reasons, I'm just gonna sit here quietly and try to ignore my heart's urgings. *nodnod* Besides, I can easily be content knowing the guy's happy.
Yes I've made feelings known/confessed. XP So don't go trying to advise me that I should at least do that. I know bottling it up is bad, so I took the best action with that.
Who can help who they fall for? Blargh. Ah well. Any comments? XP I'll answer any questions except those asking for names/usernames. (Was this as much a vent as for those personal reasons? Ha ha.. I wonder...)
Yeah, I know some of you are thinking 'yeah, so? That seems a simple conclusion.' Here's where it gets complicated. That little 'pretty much' part. I've also come to realize that two guys I know... just -two- could make me walk the straighter line in life. I'm not gonna go naming names, though, sorry.... XP that info's classified.
Ironic twist is one is unavailable, the other I don't have that kind of interest in. I've had crushes on both these people in the past, too. More irony.
Three guesses why I'm bringing this up and what that means. I know I've said to some I'm not looking for a relationship right now. And really, I'm not. Not even looking at the ladies. Other than making this known publicly for personal reasons, I'm just gonna sit here quietly and try to ignore my heart's urgings. *nodnod* Besides, I can easily be content knowing the guy's happy.
Yes I've made feelings known/confessed. XP So don't go trying to advise me that I should at least do that. I know bottling it up is bad, so I took the best action with that.
Who can help who they fall for? Blargh. Ah well. Any comments? XP I'll answer any questions except those asking for names/usernames. (Was this as much a vent as for those personal reasons? Ha ha.. I wonder...)
All I have to say about this is, don't give up on love. Love is a truly beautiful feeling. It would be a true shame if an amazing woman like you were unable to find any. And I know you will. Be it a man or a woman. Don't lose hope. =3
One more thing, no point in making your partner happy if you are not happy yourself. A real lover would wish the same happiness on you. And I wish much happines on you and whoever your one true mate will be.