When you shoulder it, you grin and bare to the wear and tare... When you get put through the ringer and hoops of fire to make your family proud, when you change every aspect of your life to pull it all together, and it fails? You want to know what it is to Shoulder it? Its not the fact that no matter how loud your heart screams, asking why you deserve it, When you shoulder it its when you look back and realize its like a repeating dream. And everyone close to you have to be effected by it because you have tunnel vision to tomorrow and better days. You have to shoulder it when some one gives you solid advice and you have to come to terms with the fact that you spit in their face because you couldn't... Wouldn't listen. Its been an adventure since I last posted here, I've... Been living in a cold little shack with tinfoil over the windows to keep the heat in from windows that were punched out. It was still 36-40 in there easy every night. This childish thought that I'll roll my body on to what ever limits it can reach to grow stronger has to stop. Not saying I couldn't survive the winter, shit Lunar an me seen worse. But its the fact that I don't deserve it, there are other options rather then simply accepting the rules and conditions set forth by a family that didn't fall apart... but was never together! Know what I didn't have to shoulder? This move... I have quick ass internet with a strong connection, the friends that raised me at my back.... the good ones, not the ones that only used my home as a safe haven or my wallet when they fucked up knowing I'd bale them out. Now don't get me wrong, I'd still take a bullet in the meat of my ass for a stranger that was in trouble, and I'd beat the brakes off some one taking away another's happiness for their amusement. But I'm not even going to apologize to some out there or over here for saying, stand the fuck up... spend you time in the flame and grow up. I still have a lot of growing up to do, but the first person that I don't know that calls me selfish will get a swift kick in the brats. Forward can't be stopped, and I gotta get my tooth pulled Monday, I'm gonna make him fight me for it... My tooth... any case yeah... I'm not mad or really all that aggressive as always, but I so wanna head-butt this keyboard into submission because its the fourth of mine that my brother spilled popov on and wrecked the u key or out right just broke. any idea how many times I had to dig up the U key with a knife to reset it in this rant alone?

dklhd skhldssdghklsdkhgakh,bsgadhkkh.akhbdkblekjberklbargbuhskbl

Key board in submission... Moving on...

I'm sorry for being away for the better part of a year or more. and FA isn't exactly my area of talent... the only reason I post here is because there are friends that are dear to me. I'm going to go throw my key board in the snow now, Bt I'll be back with a new one soon...
Youuuuuuuuuuuurs truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuly... Stray...