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15 years ago
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So, I've been thinking, which is never a good thing. Not these sort of thoughts, at least.
It's starting to wear on me, this constant feel that my artwork is going nowhere. I think I have improved immensely over the past few months, but still, nothing. No watches, no results, no anything. I feel like I could stand in the middle of a site and scream, were such a thing posssible, and still, no one would even turn to glance.
To be fair, I haven't done much here. It's more on other sites. I have entered countless contests, but never won. I have applied for many jobs, but never gotten one. I have been offering paid commissions for two years without a single response despite numerous updates and dirt-cheap prices.
Seriously?
I don't know, maybe I am a horrible artist. I certainly have a long way to go. Still, I think I deserve a little bit of credit. I'm starting to get tired of even drawing anymore, it's so discouraging. It's like I'm spending so much time on each piece, yet no one cares to look. It's my own fault. I guess I'm an easy person to pass over. I used to think, though, that the internet was different. I was always the one in the corner in real life, watching others have fun while I simply observed, but on here, I could be anything. Now, though, I see that I can really only be myself, and obviously myself isn't enough.
Gah, I don't know. Maybe this is just my paranoia and low self-esteem rearing its ugly head, but I am about fed up. I am going to work at improving my style, but if things don't look up, I may just throw in the towel. I'm tired of disappointment.
It's starting to wear on me, this constant feel that my artwork is going nowhere. I think I have improved immensely over the past few months, but still, nothing. No watches, no results, no anything. I feel like I could stand in the middle of a site and scream, were such a thing posssible, and still, no one would even turn to glance.
To be fair, I haven't done much here. It's more on other sites. I have entered countless contests, but never won. I have applied for many jobs, but never gotten one. I have been offering paid commissions for two years without a single response despite numerous updates and dirt-cheap prices.
Seriously?
I don't know, maybe I am a horrible artist. I certainly have a long way to go. Still, I think I deserve a little bit of credit. I'm starting to get tired of even drawing anymore, it's so discouraging. It's like I'm spending so much time on each piece, yet no one cares to look. It's my own fault. I guess I'm an easy person to pass over. I used to think, though, that the internet was different. I was always the one in the corner in real life, watching others have fun while I simply observed, but on here, I could be anything. Now, though, I see that I can really only be myself, and obviously myself isn't enough.
Gah, I don't know. Maybe this is just my paranoia and low self-esteem rearing its ugly head, but I am about fed up. I am going to work at improving my style, but if things don't look up, I may just throw in the towel. I'm tired of disappointment.
