I'm going to be vague for the sake of others but I have to get this off my chest, so why not here? I was taken to this tofu place a day ago and I think I was about as sour as I have ever been.. all complaints and practically on the rag. It was odd, I tried all I could not to, I was holding in in as much as possible but it forced it's way out of me like some kind of chest buster.

I realized it fully the day after when some of my friends and a friend of a friend did the old "Talk about someone when you think they are unaware" trick so common in furry groups. I'm a veteran to that sort of stuff so it's hard to really fool me (though I could be wrong, I admit that right here but that's beyond the point). The actual point is that I *deserve* that sort of treatment for the way I was acting. I don't like being that way and try to make it as rare as possible, my friends are so nice to me that they didn't deserve that treatment. In a way I am making this journal as my own type of atonement, a kind of public humiliation.

I know there are some out there who have already made up their mind about me, some people who do that and the image sticks even if they haven't spent but a few minutes talking to me, I'm guilty of that sort of thing myself. A non fur I know had that sort of snap judgment about me before and I've been working to change that in his mind, thankfully it seems to be working. I guess I have one of those faces that makes people weary, I really don't know what it is but I don't want people to think of me in that way.

I like it when things are more out in the open, that is when I know the person can take it so I like people to be up front with how they feel with me. I lived in two furry groups so far and so much of it is passive aggression and secrets, something I really can't stand when it's between friends which is just a formula for disaster. Really that's something I think the vast majority of furry groups needs to change within ourselves.

God damn are we all a bunch of nut jobs. :3