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forza? are you ok?
15 years ago
hey my sl friends, i wonder if anyone has been wondering where i am? nobody has tried to reach me over the last week that i haven't been online...
been a rough week. every night ive been sleeping soo much... like 10 or more hours, last night ... well... 2 nights now, 12 hours straight from 10am to 10pm when my alarm went off... i wake up in the dark and just lay there... for hours, and often just fall back asleep. im starting to succumb to some of this depression and anxiety shit and its getting rough. at work, even though i just got all that sleep, i doze off with my head in my arms between calls. I CANT THINK STRAIGHT and my breathing rushes... ill be sitting there and the "noise in my head" (i call it) wont go away... and i have to get up and leave the room and go for a walk trying to calm my breathing down...!
Always liked this image, even though it was only submitted a week ago, because I feel like I relate to it... http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5166880/
more nightmares too... ;\
this breakup suuuuuucks :3:3:3
i suspect after i get out of this house and back into my own place things will relax a bit. i still live with my ex, you see, and even though we're actually quite decent friends again, it's still... subconsciously awkward and uncomfortable... i miss her, you see... even though it was my choice. i still know we wouldnt work out and i have no desire to go out with her again... but 2 years is a long time and the break up was only 2 months ago... but i should be ok once i move out!
one of my coworkers is nice enough and recognizes whats going on, shes a close friend anyway, and will rub my back sometimes if she knows im having a hard time.
i just dont know who i can turn to anymore as i break down! :<
i say to myself that all i need, irl, is one... good... day... where someone would rub my back gently.... quietly, uninturupted, and hold me with a soft hug and tell me things are going to be ok... and that'd keep me good for weeks... but... there's nobody who can do that. the number one person i confide in recently is MARRIED with kids, 10 years older then me, and though has offered to take me into her arms in private and hold me i dont know how i feel about that.
i just dont know what im doing anymore D:<
Oh... forgot... also had the ccoonnttiinuuoouuss headache for 3 days straight... i should invest in Excedrin stock.
i think i need help :\ ... (honestly)
been a rough week. every night ive been sleeping soo much... like 10 or more hours, last night ... well... 2 nights now, 12 hours straight from 10am to 10pm when my alarm went off... i wake up in the dark and just lay there... for hours, and often just fall back asleep. im starting to succumb to some of this depression and anxiety shit and its getting rough. at work, even though i just got all that sleep, i doze off with my head in my arms between calls. I CANT THINK STRAIGHT and my breathing rushes... ill be sitting there and the "noise in my head" (i call it) wont go away... and i have to get up and leave the room and go for a walk trying to calm my breathing down...!
Always liked this image, even though it was only submitted a week ago, because I feel like I relate to it... http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5166880/
more nightmares too... ;\
this breakup suuuuuucks :3:3:3
i suspect after i get out of this house and back into my own place things will relax a bit. i still live with my ex, you see, and even though we're actually quite decent friends again, it's still... subconsciously awkward and uncomfortable... i miss her, you see... even though it was my choice. i still know we wouldnt work out and i have no desire to go out with her again... but 2 years is a long time and the break up was only 2 months ago... but i should be ok once i move out!
one of my coworkers is nice enough and recognizes whats going on, shes a close friend anyway, and will rub my back sometimes if she knows im having a hard time.
i just dont know who i can turn to anymore as i break down! :<
i say to myself that all i need, irl, is one... good... day... where someone would rub my back gently.... quietly, uninturupted, and hold me with a soft hug and tell me things are going to be ok... and that'd keep me good for weeks... but... there's nobody who can do that. the number one person i confide in recently is MARRIED with kids, 10 years older then me, and though has offered to take me into her arms in private and hold me i dont know how i feel about that.
i just dont know what im doing anymore D:<
Oh... forgot... also had the ccoonnttiinuuoouuss headache for 3 days straight... i should invest in Excedrin stock.
i think i need help :\ ... (honestly)
I also know how you feel about living with your ex. My ex and I had to live together for at least another month before she could leave my apartment, and it did indeed feel very awkward. It'll get better, I promise. Might take a while but it will get better.
If I could, I'd do what you ask to comfort you but unfortunately, I cannot. I understand and feel very similarly to how you feel, and I'm sorry we're both going through this; you especially, as it seems your case is worse than mine. But it will get better. It always gets better. Might get worse first, and it might take a long time, but it will get better. Just hang in there.
If you're reaching the point where you earnestly believe that you need help, DO NOT IGNORE IT. Go get some help, Forza. Ignoring things like this is how people turn (seriously) suicidal to try to escape the pain and trials of their lives.
I also know how you feel about living with your ex. My ex and I had to live together for at least another month before she could leave my apartment, and it did indeed feel very awkward. It'll get better, I promise. Might take a while but it will get better.
If I could, I'd do what you ask to comfort you but unfortunately, I cannot. I understand and feel very similarly to how you feel, and I'm sorry we're both going through this; you especially, as it seems your case is worse than mine. But it will get better. It always gets better. Might get worse first, and it might take a long time, but it will get better. Just hang in there.
If you're reaching the point where you earnestly believe that you need help, DO NOT IGNORE IT. Go get some help, Forza. Ignoring things like this is how people turn (seriously) suicidal to try to escape the pain and trials of their lives.
Like that Karp!