But I can't. Because 1 - i'm not 21, 2. - I'm not alone, and 3..... fuck i don't know.

I want to forget about all this anger i have against myself right now... but what would be the point? What would I learn by doing that? Nothing. Even though its not much different than I seem to learn if I remember the anger and think over it. I just never seem to fucking change enough.... never seem to try hard enough... Fuck.

And i wish i had the balls to break something. But i don't. Its times like these that I end up hating myself the most. Especially when someone else tells me what I'm doing wrong, and I already know it. Its like pouring degreaser into a 3 inch deep gash in your chest. It burns. It stings. It fucking hurts. Worst of all, I can't even fucking be creative now. I can't do it. I kinda just want to rot away in my room for a while...