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Ten short letters to ten different people
15 years ago
God made man
But he used a monkey to do it
Apes in the plan
We're all here to prove it
But he used a monkey to do it
Apes in the plan
We're all here to prove it
1. You "don't want to reconnect". I tagged along with you for years, your hippy shit, your emotional wreckyness. Hanging out with your now dead ex boyfriend who you only yelled at each other with? And now you find out how damaged you are? And I'M the worst person to try to find friends from the past? Yeah you deserve to be miserable forever. I just really wanted to write this down somewhere because really, you're the asshole. YOU are the asshole.
2. I understand you, I really do. You think no one does, you think that everyone is out to get you. You mete out your own justice. You pay back those who hurt you. Even those you're close to. But you do it in secret. And you don't REALLY forgive. You don't follow or understand the law because you follow your own law. But like lots of people you cannot follow the law when you feel you've been wronged. And there's the difference. I stop. You really could 'be somebody' if you didn't just stick to the old ways you do things and hold onto the past the way you do. You pretend to have but I know you still keep getting revenge even though you pretend not to. I've heard. I know.
3. You live in a different world, and I know you used to do the grind like the rest of us, but it's 'not quite the same' as it used to be. Here's a personal theory of mine. The world is like an onion. We have different layers that sometimes touch and people jump, like an electron, to a different layer or shell. That doesn't mean I don't like you in any way shape or form. Problem is, I just see that we're on different shells, and now more than ever before, I can't imagine myself getting to a higher shell. I see less freedom comparatively. But is this my fault? Maybe it is. Sometimes I don't like being aware, it makes you see stuff coming up that otherwise you can pretend was a waylay.
4. You seem to want to give. Give give give. And I can totally dig it. To give you must have, and to have you must work your way to the top, or your own little mountain. From there, you can help out those less fortunate or able. I myself don't ever see myself getting to the top of any kind again. If the stable base gives out, everything its built on goes. What would Brian Boitano do?
6. So many people are here for you, but I know what your family has put you though. I wish there was a way to fix everything for you, and I'm sure there is. Thing is, by the time it's done I'm not sure you'll still think the vast portion of your life was good. I wish I could fix the world.
7. Dude, you're a faggot. You know it, I know it, DOGS know it. Back in the day they used to call what you have a 'beard'. A girlfriend to hide what you and everyone else knows is true. You're setting yourself up for a LIFETIME of misery that you will only share with that girl. You've gotten yourself together in SO MANY WAYS. You can hold real conversations, but mostly about what you regret you've lost, and it's sad sad sad you can't live the way your heart is telling you to. Because you're afraid of what people THINK? Says the guy who mentions Colombine like it's a funny haha joke? Go gay, fag it up and live how you want to, not like some milkman or something with a creepy secret.
8. Nowhere else would put up with this, but I'm too nice. Late over and over. Nobody else is gonna put up with that. Making me late to stuff? I like you a lot but, no way. Maybe it's good you won't be around much longer...You have such potential to do, without even trying.
9. You've got it. Even if you do have wonky neurons that sputter, you've got it. If onlyI were the kind that could follow. We'd chat and dine in the Bahamas. What will our little dreams do for us?
10. You're from the past, a bad past. I hated you with a passion. When you died, I thought of dancing on your grave or at least pissing on it, like they do on GG Allin's grave. I've calmed some after......maybe ten years? Maybe you regret how you hurt me over and over? After gutting the stuffed animal I gave you just because I went out and had some fun like you yourself suggested, I can't imagine so. And I still wonder if I should talk to you after all this time. No, you'd just blame me.
Bonus:
11: Last time I saw you, you were a skeleton with no teeth. 90, at 17. You were such a bad girl, and you almost took him with you down to the grave. I'm pretty sure this is how a lot of the world is, people thinking they have it under control, then dying from it. I have a guy who works as a nurse who comes into my store, and tells me about how it really is, that drugs fuck you up, that you get holes in your body and it breaks down, way faster than just getting old. Something I wish you'd have done. You helped me to free myself from just that much more of the fear of death, that much more than when Aunt Cass died, my 100 year old aunt. Your death freed me, by seeing what happens in the real world. But it also shut off a little part of my heart.
2. I understand you, I really do. You think no one does, you think that everyone is out to get you. You mete out your own justice. You pay back those who hurt you. Even those you're close to. But you do it in secret. And you don't REALLY forgive. You don't follow or understand the law because you follow your own law. But like lots of people you cannot follow the law when you feel you've been wronged. And there's the difference. I stop. You really could 'be somebody' if you didn't just stick to the old ways you do things and hold onto the past the way you do. You pretend to have but I know you still keep getting revenge even though you pretend not to. I've heard. I know.
3. You live in a different world, and I know you used to do the grind like the rest of us, but it's 'not quite the same' as it used to be. Here's a personal theory of mine. The world is like an onion. We have different layers that sometimes touch and people jump, like an electron, to a different layer or shell. That doesn't mean I don't like you in any way shape or form. Problem is, I just see that we're on different shells, and now more than ever before, I can't imagine myself getting to a higher shell. I see less freedom comparatively. But is this my fault? Maybe it is. Sometimes I don't like being aware, it makes you see stuff coming up that otherwise you can pretend was a waylay.
4. You seem to want to give. Give give give. And I can totally dig it. To give you must have, and to have you must work your way to the top, or your own little mountain. From there, you can help out those less fortunate or able. I myself don't ever see myself getting to the top of any kind again. If the stable base gives out, everything its built on goes. What would Brian Boitano do?
6. So many people are here for you, but I know what your family has put you though. I wish there was a way to fix everything for you, and I'm sure there is. Thing is, by the time it's done I'm not sure you'll still think the vast portion of your life was good. I wish I could fix the world.
7. Dude, you're a faggot. You know it, I know it, DOGS know it. Back in the day they used to call what you have a 'beard'. A girlfriend to hide what you and everyone else knows is true. You're setting yourself up for a LIFETIME of misery that you will only share with that girl. You've gotten yourself together in SO MANY WAYS. You can hold real conversations, but mostly about what you regret you've lost, and it's sad sad sad you can't live the way your heart is telling you to. Because you're afraid of what people THINK? Says the guy who mentions Colombine like it's a funny haha joke? Go gay, fag it up and live how you want to, not like some milkman or something with a creepy secret.
8. Nowhere else would put up with this, but I'm too nice. Late over and over. Nobody else is gonna put up with that. Making me late to stuff? I like you a lot but, no way. Maybe it's good you won't be around much longer...You have such potential to do, without even trying.
9. You've got it. Even if you do have wonky neurons that sputter, you've got it. If onlyI were the kind that could follow. We'd chat and dine in the Bahamas. What will our little dreams do for us?
10. You're from the past, a bad past. I hated you with a passion. When you died, I thought of dancing on your grave or at least pissing on it, like they do on GG Allin's grave. I've calmed some after......maybe ten years? Maybe you regret how you hurt me over and over? After gutting the stuffed animal I gave you just because I went out and had some fun like you yourself suggested, I can't imagine so. And I still wonder if I should talk to you after all this time. No, you'd just blame me.
Bonus:
11: Last time I saw you, you were a skeleton with no teeth. 90, at 17. You were such a bad girl, and you almost took him with you down to the grave. I'm pretty sure this is how a lot of the world is, people thinking they have it under control, then dying from it. I have a guy who works as a nurse who comes into my store, and tells me about how it really is, that drugs fuck you up, that you get holes in your body and it breaks down, way faster than just getting old. Something I wish you'd have done. You helped me to free myself from just that much more of the fear of death, that much more than when Aunt Cass died, my 100 year old aunt. Your death freed me, by seeing what happens in the real world. But it also shut off a little part of my heart.
