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Update Bomb
14 years ago
WHAT I DIDNT O_O....
i have 2 reasons for my current state of mind:
1: I have been feeling very art/writing inadequate
2: I have been very lonely
first issue
CREATIVITY
the reason why i haven't posted anything in forever is because i just feel that i cant do it right
i get an idea and i have so many of them lately but then i always go through the same conversation with myself
1: hey al hey i got an idea for you
2: ok go on
1: *blah blah blah idea idea idea*
2: wow that is a good idea
1: you should so draw/write it that would be so cool
2: your right i should try to draw/write it *sits down with art pad, art program, writing program for 30min to an hour*FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK i can't do this
1: aww but its a great idea
2: i know it is *just sobs and goes to lay on my bed usually ending up in me sleeping*
art and writing are probably the most depressing things i try to do nowadays i just cant find a way to get myself into a creative mood
and whats worse is that if i try soon im just like "FUCK THIS...games games games.. occasional job time...sleep... rinse and repeat"
i seriously wish i could just beam my ideas onto media like some artists seem to be able to do
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Issue 2
Loneliness
I actually come to a point where i have become incredibly lonely and i find that weird because i am always.... ALWAYS talking to people both on and offline with both furries and my close friends
i just find myself bored tired and lonely no matter what i do with anybody and you know what i think its impacting my behavior a bit because i have a LOT of people calling me an ass lately when i say something and it makes me sad
i just want that perfect friend who can like read my thoughts and act the right way at the right time you know
but i know that will never happen i guess what i'm saying is that i want some excitement back in my life that im not getting from anything really i grow bored of even my favorite games in a matter of no more then 2 hours usually less
i need something to break my monotony and break it good the only highlights of my life right now is that ill soon be attending college (like summer) i made my moms peanut butter cookie recipe all by myself and that someone who i have no idea who they are invited me to anime milwaukee later this month
this is a shout out to anyone who thinks they can cheer me up to go right ahead and try its not like i have anything better to do
1: I have been feeling very art/writing inadequate
2: I have been very lonely
first issue
CREATIVITY
the reason why i haven't posted anything in forever is because i just feel that i cant do it right
i get an idea and i have so many of them lately but then i always go through the same conversation with myself
1: hey al hey i got an idea for you
2: ok go on
1: *blah blah blah idea idea idea*
2: wow that is a good idea
1: you should so draw/write it that would be so cool
2: your right i should try to draw/write it *sits down with art pad, art program, writing program for 30min to an hour*FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK i can't do this
1: aww but its a great idea
2: i know it is *just sobs and goes to lay on my bed usually ending up in me sleeping*
art and writing are probably the most depressing things i try to do nowadays i just cant find a way to get myself into a creative mood
and whats worse is that if i try soon im just like "FUCK THIS...games games games.. occasional job time...sleep... rinse and repeat"
i seriously wish i could just beam my ideas onto media like some artists seem to be able to do
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Issue 2
Loneliness
I actually come to a point where i have become incredibly lonely and i find that weird because i am always.... ALWAYS talking to people both on and offline with both furries and my close friends
i just find myself bored tired and lonely no matter what i do with anybody and you know what i think its impacting my behavior a bit because i have a LOT of people calling me an ass lately when i say something and it makes me sad
i just want that perfect friend who can like read my thoughts and act the right way at the right time you know
but i know that will never happen i guess what i'm saying is that i want some excitement back in my life that im not getting from anything really i grow bored of even my favorite games in a matter of no more then 2 hours usually less
i need something to break my monotony and break it good the only highlights of my life right now is that ill soon be attending college (like summer) i made my moms peanut butter cookie recipe all by myself and that someone who i have no idea who they are invited me to anime milwaukee later this month
this is a shout out to anyone who thinks they can cheer me up to go right ahead and try its not like i have anything better to do
Put whatever you think of on paper; don't stop to ask yourself if it is good enough!
Believe in me, who believes in you!
In my experience, the lack of creativity can grate on your nerves and lead to other emotions issues like the feeling of loneliness. Or it may be the other way around... I am not really sure. I am married and spend a lot of time with my family but I can still feel lonely. I don't know what to say other than breaking up the monotony may help but it also may be the creativity dump.