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Chedarr is a Royal Fuck-up. [PLEASE READ!]
15 years ago
No, this is actually Nikki speaking.
Me. Like actually me. The cheese.
I'm not back, nor am I actually calling this my return either. I just have a couple of things I'd like to say, which are kinda sorta important anyways...
First off, since both of them are bad news, I'm going to begin with the most terrible one...though there's a TL;DR version at the bottom, so skip all this if you have a short attention span.
Grades. School. Honestly, I'm still not really doing too much even while this account's under the hands of someone else. I mean, even though I haven't in the least thought about FA doesn't really mean anything. I already know I haven't been doing too good in American Government simply because I still have yet to shift over from the lack of notes in Economics to the mass amounts of notes and listing in Government. I've bombed the last two tests [and I really mean bombed, like badly bombed kind of bombed] and while I'm beating myself up over it I've practically quit doing work in that class, so I know my grade isn't looking good at all. Progress reports come out this week and well...I just know that it's gonna be BAD. I mean, probably bad enough to where my dad might decide to practically ground me from my computer and stuff to where my limited visits would probably become no visits. Not to mention my calculus grade still sucks and I'm still the dumbest person in that class and every time my teacher says I'm doing good it stabs me in the heart and pretty much everything inside me dies...I mean yes, math is also destroying me piece by piece and really I'm just falling apart here. I don't know anymore...I really don't...so I wouldn't be surprised if I could kiss all my technology goodbye...probably deserve it anyways. It's ok, I guess...not the first time I've fucked up this badly.
...probably should have started off with the _better_ bad news anyways...
SECONDLY.
I can't do digital art anymore. I am pretty much incapable of it. Yes, I can traditionally do things but that's it. I'm so used to using my tablet for everything that now I can't really use a mouse for anything else but browsing the internet and a few games. Yeah, I was trying to do a little art but now that my pen is ultimately dead I can't draw anything and my dad won't even bother helping me out with a hobby a love by buying me another one...so yeah...
...can't really art, and unless you're cool with seeing a bunch of unfinished WIPs in the future then I probably won't really submit anything...at least until I get myself a job and make enough money to try and buy my own tablet or something. Honestly, it's kinda devastating to me...you help me send in college applications so I can help myself major in art, and now you won't really help me out all that much just to get a new tablet just so I can art...and probably help myself in college in the far future...
*sigh*
I'm sorry for having a relatively depressing journal...I am just a lump of sadness right now...guess I'll just...doodle on paper and try to jot down more info for my research paper...
TL;DR - ched dun fucked up with school [again] and her tablet pen doesn't work anymore so she can't finish any art
Me. Like actually me. The cheese.
I'm not back, nor am I actually calling this my return either. I just have a couple of things I'd like to say, which are kinda sorta important anyways...
First off, since both of them are bad news, I'm going to begin with the most terrible one...though there's a TL;DR version at the bottom, so skip all this if you have a short attention span.
Grades. School. Honestly, I'm still not really doing too much even while this account's under the hands of someone else. I mean, even though I haven't in the least thought about FA doesn't really mean anything. I already know I haven't been doing too good in American Government simply because I still have yet to shift over from the lack of notes in Economics to the mass amounts of notes and listing in Government. I've bombed the last two tests [and I really mean bombed, like badly bombed kind of bombed] and while I'm beating myself up over it I've practically quit doing work in that class, so I know my grade isn't looking good at all. Progress reports come out this week and well...I just know that it's gonna be BAD. I mean, probably bad enough to where my dad might decide to practically ground me from my computer and stuff to where my limited visits would probably become no visits. Not to mention my calculus grade still sucks and I'm still the dumbest person in that class and every time my teacher says I'm doing good it stabs me in the heart and pretty much everything inside me dies...I mean yes, math is also destroying me piece by piece and really I'm just falling apart here. I don't know anymore...I really don't...so I wouldn't be surprised if I could kiss all my technology goodbye...probably deserve it anyways. It's ok, I guess...not the first time I've fucked up this badly.
...probably should have started off with the _better_ bad news anyways...
SECONDLY.
I can't do digital art anymore. I am pretty much incapable of it. Yes, I can traditionally do things but that's it. I'm so used to using my tablet for everything that now I can't really use a mouse for anything else but browsing the internet and a few games. Yeah, I was trying to do a little art but now that my pen is ultimately dead I can't draw anything and my dad won't even bother helping me out with a hobby a love by buying me another one...so yeah...
...can't really art, and unless you're cool with seeing a bunch of unfinished WIPs in the future then I probably won't really submit anything...at least until I get myself a job and make enough money to try and buy my own tablet or something. Honestly, it's kinda devastating to me...you help me send in college applications so I can help myself major in art, and now you won't really help me out all that much just to get a new tablet just so I can art...and probably help myself in college in the far future...
*sigh*
I'm sorry for having a relatively depressing journal...I am just a lump of sadness right now...guess I'll just...doodle on paper and try to jot down more info for my research paper...
TL;DR - ched dun fucked up with school [again] and her tablet pen doesn't work anymore so she can't finish any art
Anyways, you're probably not reading this as you're probably already gone, but best of luck and can't wait until you're back and hope things are better by then :3
...I had been to a doctor last year...ended up on antidepressants, gradually felt worse taking them, then quit taking them altogether.