ha... I'm acturally writing in this again how... odd for me

I'm feeling depression starting to choke me
I fight to fake a smile
..... Ugh all right no writing anything creative today. Here's the deal for the last few months my father has borrowed more and more money from me till my bank account was drained. Originally it was because he was spending too much money on his new girlfriend, or so I thought. He recently confessed to have started up his old drug habit and I don't know how long ago it was that he really started it. Now I've been fighting the good fight to keep smiling and blah blah blah but well considering that I had a nasty flu for the last week or so, he asked me for my card to pay the water bill since he was out of money again... should have been my first clue. But no I gave him the card and asked him to pick up some medicine and soup for me..... Ten hours later or so he returns finally with the medicine and food while confessing that he once again fell off the wagon. The next day he also admitted to lying when he told me he had at least used my money to pay the water bill. That was kinda the last straw for my forced happiness because well today the cable went out because he didn't pay that or any other bill lately... and so my main ability to talk with the people I call family... the people I love has been cut from me at home. Is it any wonder why I've decided to not go to class even though I'm at campus now? Hehehe........ I don't know when it'll get any better and that's what really makes me sad