Firstly, let me thank all of you for your outpouring of comforting words and prayers. It means an awful lot to me, more than I can properly express in words. Thank you all for being there.

I just today, not a few hours ago, finished my legal requirement of personally identifying my mother's body (as next of kin they required me as opposed to my aunt, my mom's sister, to do so). It gave me the chance to see her one last time before she's cremated and to say my farewells. I really don't know what to think or feel about it, it's kind of all in a jumble. I want to cry, but part of me wants to also smile knowing that she's not in pain, that there's nothing more that can ever hurt her.

After that, I spent some time going through her personal affects to see what I needed to keep. It came down to maybe 15 - 20 old old photos, all of which have sentimental value to me, and a few books my Mom held on the side for me to take when I would have seen her later this month. It's really disturbing to look at your Mom's place and know she's not coming home again. I don't think it's all hit me yet, but I can feel it coming. Might just take off work tomorrow to let this hit me and pass.

Next week Monday or Tuesday we should get the ashes back from the crematorium, and that's when, as per her final wishes, they'll be spread near the library in Huntington Station, a place where in the last year and a half she derived utter joy at being able to sit and read. I also don't know how I'm going to handle that one, as my aunt can't do it. She said as much to me today while in the funeral parlor waiting for the paperwork to all get finished.

So, that's what's been up, folks. Again, thank all of you for being there. It's mead this a lot more tolerable, knowing I have friends both online and close to me IRL that are there. I'll try to keep you folks abreast of the situation.

Yours all with love,
Mika