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Valentines Day Journal
14 years ago
Fly Away Now, Fly Away Now, Fly Away!
So.. This is just a journal about how MY Valentines Day went. Well basically if you're close to me you already know me and Stella.. Well.. I thought we were on a break but.. We're not.. Stella and I are no longer together.. So.. Please don't ask any more. Anyway.. Well I thought I would spend Valentines Day alone but thanks to my friend who roleplays as Brief offered to be my Valentine today. I'm glad he did ^^.. Thanks to him and Lauren I was able to.. To cry and not be as depressed as before.. I really thought Stella was going to come back but she didn't.. So it's fine don't worry ^^.. Also.. You may not know this but.. I'm crushing hard on my friend Brief. He's such a nice guy.. He helped me through the pain I felt today. Please don't ask me about Stella. I'd rather not talk about it. So.. Yeah! I got a small bags of candies and chocolates from two of my friends. So I've eating candy all day today xD. Like Brief says I shouldn't eat too much or else I'll get fat. So as a gift to Brief I drew him that picture and wrote a BriefxStocking one shot for him. I told him he didn't have to get me anything but he made me this cool Panty and Stocking website thing. It was really sweet of him ^^. So that's how my Valentines Day went. How did yours go? ^^
I KEEP REPLAYING THE DAMN MEMORY IN MY HEAD!!!
Sorry..
Do you want to know what I did for those TWO days..
I fucking thought about you.. I wanted to make sure the feelings were there..
THEN YOU DATE SOMEONE ELSE TWO DAYS LATER?! THAT HURTS
YOU COULDN'T EVEN WAIT A MONTH OR SOMETHING?!
Crawling back? Know why? Because I truly love you.
If I didn't I would be with someone else right now. I thought you loved me but I guess that was a lie seeing how quick you changed up.
You know what.. I'm tired of this..
My heart aches too much.. I don't want to argue anymore..
I'm tired of crying.. Tired of closing my eyes and seeing you..
Finally.. I'm tired of loving you.. It hurts too much..
When did it stop..
And drama? You don't even know the beginning of the real me..
Why did you un-watch me on DA..?
It's because.. I never did break up with you.. Why would I want to..?
I wanted to think about us.. It just hurts that..
Huh do you really? Are you mature enough?
Because you didn't talk to me. You say that you IMed me so many times. I would have received anything. The only ones I got were the ones that I responded to. You barely ever talked to me. I would text you but never get anything back. How am I supposed to feel? Should I have just waited like a good little porcelain doll awaiting for your call? Stella the world doesn't work like that. There's such a thing as too little attention. I tried my best to talk to you. Yes I understand school is hard but I'm in 11th grade I have to deal with College searches, resumes, SAT's, ACT's, regents and all of that but I still tried my best to talk to you. How come you couldn't do the same?
It's funny how quickly your love died.