My Lifemate is in a neurosurgical emergency ward, fighting for hir life. I've been shedding more tears than I thought was possible the last 12 hours.

We've been a couple for close to 20 years. Our children are both teens. I had a nervous breakdown close to one year ago. Lifemate had to help me close my company down, and take a tremendous load of stress. Then hir mother died. And sie just worked on.

Yesterday evening, after sie finished leading a board meeting in hir scout chapter, sie started feeling ill. The board members called for an ambulance.

Now, sie's beyond my help, perhaps forever. Assisted breathing hissing. So many coloured wires and tubes. I can just stroke hir brow and hold hir hand.

My life. My mate.