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Virus Troubles- The Aftermath
15 years ago
General
My Realm is Evolving..
Hi guys,
I probably should of saved this for a better night when I wasn't so physically and mentally drained from the way I was treated for making an honest mistake.
First off as I had feared I'm going to lose everything off this laptop once again because what has happened is a series of viruses have shot my server to shit so guess what? Yep.. fort eight hours of cleaning and rebooting.
I'm not one bit pleased about how all of this transpired as I will describe now:
To make a long story short my parent again was being a real bitch so I walked out on her for five hours to let her sorry ass sweat trying to find me. Basically she was a bitch and smart ass about me not having internet like it was a crude joke.
Well I was pretty angry at her behavior so I walked out without telling her where I was going. I should of stayed out all night or until the police came looking for me, ha ha, you heard it my parent suddenly out of some drunken idiocy realized I wasn't kidding this time.
The next time I don't care what my circumstances are because I will move out and not be as lenient about it.
How did all of this start to where the entire lot of my asshole family was put on alert? My parent is a fucking mess to put it plainly and she never tells me in advance what the plans are for the next day because her drinking has killed off so many brain cells I think she is borderline amnesic.
So to not bore you with the obvious when she left I threw on some more suitable clothes and walked out.. She was at work of course after she had lowered he bitchy boom on me.
She is such a bitch I'm tired of her, I'm tired of my shithole family, and I'm tired of being picked apart by the likes of her. You know this all started because of a label.. That's right, a label. I've lost more from a label then I have from a mistake.
This time I'm not joshing around, this time it could be for real and I hope it is because that old drunk bitch is going to taste reality of what happens when you get old and crabby.
Not only this but the lady who was supposed to let me know about this never called me back today telling me what I needed to do.
I guess I have to wave a bunch of money in people's face to be taken seriously as an adult. It's bad enough I took flak for this mistake but now because of how I was treated after the fact as soon as I get wheels I'm going to look for a place to live or possibly somebody to roommate with of my choice of course. I don't need an unreliable mate to bite me in the ass,
I'm just tired of everything and vow to myself to not live here for one more year hook or crook. This is the straw which broke the camel's back/ I've tried to care and be nice but there comes a time in life where a person has exhausted all of their chances. I've tried to stand by her and support her business and be her champion but this is the thanks I get.
In order for me to rommate with somebody I have to first meet them, like them, trust them. and above all make sure they are not a mess.
If they are a mess in terms of things that most people can deal with I'm cool with it. I'm going to be 28 in just over six days and because of this little virus on the laptop it has caused all of this and I'm tired of it.
If I had a job and truck I could flick my parent off as I go do what I want without her pussy little nose getting into my business,
I know this sounds like 17 right? Well I'm pretty sick of it to be honest. I'd of been gone a lot sooner if I had means but because I live in the center of hell up here in the Woodlands it's like bars are attached here.
I know in my heart I have to leave because my health depends on it.
Now as to where I live is simple in the farther away from here the better. Luckily Houston is just big enough where I can pull this off or even the country though I'd need wheels.
Basically the bottom line is my last straw has been pulled and I want out, period the end. I refuse to spend one more year of my life in a place that's affecting my health, my mind, and my feelings.
I know this is a supportive community but all books cannot be judged by their covers you know.
The plan for right now is to keep doing what I'm doing in terms of my job help and resume help I'm getting. And maybe talking to my job advisor about my options of possibly getting into a government funded house to where i can at least be away from my parent.
I really need a hug and a way out of this so as i've told you,
Keep me in your thoughts because I'm going to do whatever it takes to get as far away from the Woodlands as I can.
I'm done playing the same old song in these journals because it gets old after awhile.
I probably should of saved this for a better night when I wasn't so physically and mentally drained from the way I was treated for making an honest mistake.
First off as I had feared I'm going to lose everything off this laptop once again because what has happened is a series of viruses have shot my server to shit so guess what? Yep.. fort eight hours of cleaning and rebooting.
I'm not one bit pleased about how all of this transpired as I will describe now:
To make a long story short my parent again was being a real bitch so I walked out on her for five hours to let her sorry ass sweat trying to find me. Basically she was a bitch and smart ass about me not having internet like it was a crude joke.
Well I was pretty angry at her behavior so I walked out without telling her where I was going. I should of stayed out all night or until the police came looking for me, ha ha, you heard it my parent suddenly out of some drunken idiocy realized I wasn't kidding this time.
The next time I don't care what my circumstances are because I will move out and not be as lenient about it.
How did all of this start to where the entire lot of my asshole family was put on alert? My parent is a fucking mess to put it plainly and she never tells me in advance what the plans are for the next day because her drinking has killed off so many brain cells I think she is borderline amnesic.
So to not bore you with the obvious when she left I threw on some more suitable clothes and walked out.. She was at work of course after she had lowered he bitchy boom on me.
She is such a bitch I'm tired of her, I'm tired of my shithole family, and I'm tired of being picked apart by the likes of her. You know this all started because of a label.. That's right, a label. I've lost more from a label then I have from a mistake.
This time I'm not joshing around, this time it could be for real and I hope it is because that old drunk bitch is going to taste reality of what happens when you get old and crabby.
Not only this but the lady who was supposed to let me know about this never called me back today telling me what I needed to do.
I guess I have to wave a bunch of money in people's face to be taken seriously as an adult. It's bad enough I took flak for this mistake but now because of how I was treated after the fact as soon as I get wheels I'm going to look for a place to live or possibly somebody to roommate with of my choice of course. I don't need an unreliable mate to bite me in the ass,
I'm just tired of everything and vow to myself to not live here for one more year hook or crook. This is the straw which broke the camel's back/ I've tried to care and be nice but there comes a time in life where a person has exhausted all of their chances. I've tried to stand by her and support her business and be her champion but this is the thanks I get.
In order for me to rommate with somebody I have to first meet them, like them, trust them. and above all make sure they are not a mess.
If they are a mess in terms of things that most people can deal with I'm cool with it. I'm going to be 28 in just over six days and because of this little virus on the laptop it has caused all of this and I'm tired of it.
If I had a job and truck I could flick my parent off as I go do what I want without her pussy little nose getting into my business,
I know this sounds like 17 right? Well I'm pretty sick of it to be honest. I'd of been gone a lot sooner if I had means but because I live in the center of hell up here in the Woodlands it's like bars are attached here.
I know in my heart I have to leave because my health depends on it.
Now as to where I live is simple in the farther away from here the better. Luckily Houston is just big enough where I can pull this off or even the country though I'd need wheels.
Basically the bottom line is my last straw has been pulled and I want out, period the end. I refuse to spend one more year of my life in a place that's affecting my health, my mind, and my feelings.
I know this is a supportive community but all books cannot be judged by their covers you know.
The plan for right now is to keep doing what I'm doing in terms of my job help and resume help I'm getting. And maybe talking to my job advisor about my options of possibly getting into a government funded house to where i can at least be away from my parent.
I really need a hug and a way out of this so as i've told you,
Keep me in your thoughts because I'm going to do whatever it takes to get as far away from the Woodlands as I can.
I'm done playing the same old song in these journals because it gets old after awhile.
Why am I still up? I don't know or care but it feels like I slept only an hour..
*gives you huge tight lionhugs*
I guess the only you can do is open your ears which I guess is the best formula
It's a real shame you get to read about my lack of a life coming apart at the seems.
What can I do? My best friend is practically non-existent these days and my parent laughs at the situation I'm in living at a third world home with cuttoff from the basic needs of this era.
She doesn't care and she's supposed to be my parent who will ultimately get what's coming to her.
Anyway I'm mentally and physically drained I can't handle this anymore..
*keeps hugging tightly*
Well the difference is most I see are for attention and ,most don't have any reason behind them. Mine are legitimate I need to get this off my chest because I have nowhere else to turn because the people I count on in my life to be support are not.
That's why my paw off after this felt so good because I was letting go of the stresses in the best way possible. It was either not get a good night sleep or paw off letting it go and being able to get a sex induced deep sleep
Once I get with it starting tomorrow I hope I can hear back from my job adviser so we can forge on with getting me the job that'll get me the truck that'll get me out of this once and for all. I'm half way there with the money I have now.
Thanks for the support Nie..
The older influence really helps me through things like this.
Not that you are much older then me
I hope it does indeed keep going well and better for you, I'll be waiting to hear how it develops.
You're welcome. And no I am not much older at all...though some days I feel much much older than my real age, despite not looking it.
I've read journals to where people ended up tossed out on the street by their jerk parents which in the long run is good for them because it forces them to grow up and not go back to it.
The only reason I'm not thrown out is because there is little my parent can do because I can legally throw myself out but it is almost comical when I walked home around ten to hear the entire neighborhood was out looking for me and mom was going to call my dad who I hate before she called the police which is funny.
It's like she's too naive to see the fact I proved something to her that when you are lonely it's pretty scary to not have someone there to put up with you.
I have enough dough but it isn't enough to eek out a living which is the frustrating part.
The awesome thing was I got to get into my lion character because the moon was bright full so I got to simulate my lion prowling under the moonlight
It was fun to be outhere on my own doing as I pleased. It was fun watching the moon rise, it was fun getting story ideas from acting out the possible scenes.
It was fun to be out in nature sitting in the woods tempting myself to take my clothes off and be my lion ;)
It was so fun to just be me out in nature.
There were things I enjoyed but there were things I didn't like which was having to be forced to do this and then when coming home asking for an apology I got nothing but a wine induced I'm glad you're home so I don't have to look like a fool anymore.
I mean i have feelings and she pretty much spit them in my face when I got back so it proves a permanent move with no visitations again is in order for me. I even said it point blank to her face when she asked me.
I know once I'm gone my family will come back to defend her drunk ass. If they don't want to support me its their loss because I've tried to support them with what little means I have.
Sorry I shouldn't be going off like this but I'm still hurt about what happened and this has pretty much severed what little hope I had in my family.
If they want to be asses who shut me out I'll shut them out and we'll see who ends up calling me first because they are suddenly concerned about me.
Like I told you I've lost a family and gained a distant best friend thanks to a label and it hurts me while it depresses me when people can be so rude yet suddenly so concerned..
It is a sick thing and I want out.
And again, I fully support you in this and hope you can get out on your own, be strong and independent, and not have to worry about them treating you like shit anymore.
*giggles* Also, nice you got to be your lion self...and the idea of combining that with your removal of clothing is...intriguing.
Then I walked over to a park right by two of my first schools I went to when I moved here in 91 watching the moon rise over one of them
I got story ideas from it and I won't tell you too much because trade secrets in writing you know
Indeed..
Pawing off would of been risky but so worth it
Hehehehe
I love the mountains in case you are wondering.
Just think of the most romantic thing you've ever wanted to experience besides a sunset and add an open real fire place to it
You'd of loved it Nie I promise because the water was so pure out of the showers I didn't bother toweling off.. I let nature do it
It was outside of a Bavarian town called Leavonworth Washington which has some great ice cream
Heck, the Sierras around Donner Pass would be a dating dream
Wish I could be there so I could act out my lion over the moonlight *shudder*
*Purring*
You've earned that distinction quite well oh mighty Nie The Protector!
*Bows and ROARS*
Thank you, my friend.