FA+
Shop
The secret to being happy...
15 years ago
General
If you've noticed(I doubt you have), I do not do the 'moping' much. I don't have time for that bullshit, I have to conquer a country within the next fourteen years and I don't even have a house. Time is better spent working my ass off and making people love me, which I also do well. ;D
ANYWAY, it's become increasingly obvious that the vast majority of people in the world simply do not know how to life thusly. I mean happily. And by no means am I in the clear or anything. With a $30,000 loan sucking about $350 from me every month, crippling my bank account, the only person in my family I truly love's health spiraling down the drain fast enough to make my head spin, and no permanent home, one would expect me to be highly stressed. Distraught even. Honestly, my life isn't all that great. I still stay up and toss and turn at night because I am 90% certain that I'll never be the right gender, which I don't know how many people have thought that, but imagine waking up one morning in a different body, one you don't find extremely attractive or anything(but not really ugly), and in a different place(not some amazing fantasy-type place), where you've never been before, with no semblance of returning. That's sort of what it feels like.
Back to my point. So many people complain of 'depression' or 'lack of energy' or something, and I don't know... The chemical imbalance of depression isn't caused by you being fucked up. It's caused by you not stimulating the correct chemicals creation with bad diet, lack of exercise and lack of sunlight. Yes, sunlight. Believe it or not, I'm only 21, yet I know that the evil ball of light that you hiss and spit at from your shadows provides you with a vital source of vitamin D along with a few other things. All you need is about half an hour of sunlight with %40 of your skin exposed a day, and Sunny D doesn't give that to you. It's sunlight, real orange juice, or no deal.
And I hate to sound like some sort of health freak, but all of your diet sodas and your fake sugar bullshit? It's killing you. You'll get a stroke with that shit, because it's all sorts of chemicals made to taste sweet. Regular white sugar is waaaay better for you. And regular soda? Yeah, it's bad, but it's like this... Diet and a stroke or regular and high blood pressure. It's up to you. Or you could drink water and juice. I dunno. I'm just sayin'.
I don't eat organic or anything like that(even though it is a good idea, I'm scared shitless to try that 'not so processed' stuff, since I'm used to my evil processed foods), and like HELL do I eat healthy(Hello booze and cookies~), but I'm just saying. JUST. SAYING. I'm happy as hell, even in my shitty position, even though I worry, and all I do is not give in to those stupid fad diets and get my ass outside every now and then. Even sitting around and playing your DS outside is good for you, goddamn.
The biggest killer though, is sitting around and letting your doctor pump you full of meds, especially things for lowering cholesterol. Did you know there is good and 'bad' cholesterol, and that you need both for your brain to function? Also that there are different types of Omega fish oils and that you need to take them in a 4 to 1 ratio for them to do you any good? Also that counting calories doesn't help unless you are taking in good food. It doesn't matter that those egg rolls are only 5 calories, they are deep fried and made of all sorts of toxic preservatives.
Anyway, this isn't aimed at anyone in particular, and yes, the things I've said I HAVE, in fact, researched.
I know most of you don't give a fuck, but hell, I would like for everyone to at least have a little of this knowledge, and maybe then people might actually figure things out and give up their tiny little things, and if it helps just one person to stave off depression, then I'll be happy. Even if they never tell me it happens, I will simply hope it does.
Thanks for sitting with me in this rant. Now go on and get back to your unhealthy lifestyles of tv dinners in front of the computer. :I
ANYWAY, it's become increasingly obvious that the vast majority of people in the world simply do not know how to life thusly. I mean happily. And by no means am I in the clear or anything. With a $30,000 loan sucking about $350 from me every month, crippling my bank account, the only person in my family I truly love's health spiraling down the drain fast enough to make my head spin, and no permanent home, one would expect me to be highly stressed. Distraught even. Honestly, my life isn't all that great. I still stay up and toss and turn at night because I am 90% certain that I'll never be the right gender, which I don't know how many people have thought that, but imagine waking up one morning in a different body, one you don't find extremely attractive or anything(but not really ugly), and in a different place(not some amazing fantasy-type place), where you've never been before, with no semblance of returning. That's sort of what it feels like.
Back to my point. So many people complain of 'depression' or 'lack of energy' or something, and I don't know... The chemical imbalance of depression isn't caused by you being fucked up. It's caused by you not stimulating the correct chemicals creation with bad diet, lack of exercise and lack of sunlight. Yes, sunlight. Believe it or not, I'm only 21, yet I know that the evil ball of light that you hiss and spit at from your shadows provides you with a vital source of vitamin D along with a few other things. All you need is about half an hour of sunlight with %40 of your skin exposed a day, and Sunny D doesn't give that to you. It's sunlight, real orange juice, or no deal.
And I hate to sound like some sort of health freak, but all of your diet sodas and your fake sugar bullshit? It's killing you. You'll get a stroke with that shit, because it's all sorts of chemicals made to taste sweet. Regular white sugar is waaaay better for you. And regular soda? Yeah, it's bad, but it's like this... Diet and a stroke or regular and high blood pressure. It's up to you. Or you could drink water and juice. I dunno. I'm just sayin'.
I don't eat organic or anything like that(even though it is a good idea, I'm scared shitless to try that 'not so processed' stuff, since I'm used to my evil processed foods), and like HELL do I eat healthy(Hello booze and cookies~), but I'm just saying. JUST. SAYING. I'm happy as hell, even in my shitty position, even though I worry, and all I do is not give in to those stupid fad diets and get my ass outside every now and then. Even sitting around and playing your DS outside is good for you, goddamn.
The biggest killer though, is sitting around and letting your doctor pump you full of meds, especially things for lowering cholesterol. Did you know there is good and 'bad' cholesterol, and that you need both for your brain to function? Also that there are different types of Omega fish oils and that you need to take them in a 4 to 1 ratio for them to do you any good? Also that counting calories doesn't help unless you are taking in good food. It doesn't matter that those egg rolls are only 5 calories, they are deep fried and made of all sorts of toxic preservatives.
Anyway, this isn't aimed at anyone in particular, and yes, the things I've said I HAVE, in fact, researched.
I know most of you don't give a fuck, but hell, I would like for everyone to at least have a little of this knowledge, and maybe then people might actually figure things out and give up their tiny little things, and if it helps just one person to stave off depression, then I'll be happy. Even if they never tell me it happens, I will simply hope it does.
Thanks for sitting with me in this rant. Now go on and get back to your unhealthy lifestyles of tv dinners in front of the computer. :I
I agree with you on a lot of points but please don't pretend you understand depression and what causes it, especially if by your own words you haven't been there. Life, chemical imbalances, stress, diet, sunlight... it's true that absolutely all of these things can affect people and can cause depression but there is no single cure. Changing your diet may not help, getting more sunlight may not help. If medicine is what helps people then I am 100% for it.
So many people complain of 'depression' or 'lack of energy' or something
this is really just so condescending, it's quite insulting. You're speaking as if these things don't exist, as if they're not actual problems - maybe you don't suffer from them despite your worries and stresses, but surely you can understand that other people might not have your coping skills? Just because you don't suffer from something doesn't mean that it is fake or pretend regardless of how much research you have done.
Now go on and get back to your unhealthy lifestyles of tv dinners in front of the computer. :I
Nice stereotyping and generalization, bro!
I know that a lot of people advocate medicine, but it really masks things more than anything. Most people have to switch from one drug to the next, because of side effects and such, without really knowing. I'm not saying that everyone should drop their meds and go herbal or whatever, only that the vast majority of people go to the doctor for prescriptions before they even try to change their lifestyle, thinking that they can continue living that way and just being happy.
But no, no one in particular pissed me off, I just have this problem where I like to keep it all held in until someone breaks the last straw, and while only a few of the people that have even irked me slightly about it will probably see this, I thought it was time for a rant.
And honestly, I don't believe anyone will see this and think any different, because while I've managed to keep my head out of water for the most part, I'm still cynical and have little faith that my word holds any bearing in anyone's life unless I'm there, slapping them in the face.
Zydala spent a week in the hospital last year due to major depression. She had to drop all of her classes. They took her in handcuffs. She had been horribly depressed for a long time, and you know what? She ate healthy, she cooked every day for us. She doesn't like soda so she never drinks it. She certainly wasn't eating excessive junk. She walked every day to school, or biked on the days that she couldn't, and was getting a 4.0 at the time. She was taking care of herself and it absolutely did not matter because sometimes these things are genetic. NOTHING helped her, not therapy, not dropping her classes. NOTHING. She asked me to break up with her because she thought she was destroying everything and that she was a useless, worthless person.
Do you have any idea what we went through? The kind of intense pain that comes with depression precisely because it has no answer, no single cure?
She started taking medicine and it was the ABSOLUTE only thing that helped. She doesn't talk about throwing herself into the street any more. She is taking classes again and still getting good grades, but her lifestyle - the things she does - are still exactly the same as they were before she started taking medication.
There is no explanation. You can do things that will help, absolutely, but there is no single cure. You can't blame people for their depression or anxiety because "they are eating junk" or "they don't get enough sunlight", that is an absolutely backwards way to go about it. Those things can help with minor depresson, but for major depression, which is often pureply based on genetics - much of her father's family suffers as well - sometimes the absolutely only thing to do is try various medications, because you know what? That is the only thing that is working for her, and I am fine with that.
I'm not saying that this is the only way, in other words, just that people should try it first. I know it's harder to bring yourself out of a rut, but after being around the people that I am now, I think that sometimes one needs to help their self more before trying to seek out help that is more than a little verbal counseling.
It's just extremely frustrating when you know someone you are close to who is extremely bright and they ruin their life by sitting in their room and eating junk food and they suddenly wonder why they aren't feeling good, and then when you mention something to them, they blow up or just blow you off. It's frustrating, and it's even more frustrating knowing that things can be done because you've done it.
I got upset because your journal seems like such a blanket statement, to me it came across as "this is why you're depressed!" when it is wildly different for everyone who suffers it. I'm sure most people who are coping with minor depression will see a positive change if they start eating/getting out/socializing more, but for the most part it is just so much bigger than that, and trying to say "this is what you need to do" as if you have the answer to someone who has tried everything and seen no improvement is so frustrating and upsetting. Even with minor depression, though, it's not as easy as "get over it". In your case it's really awesome that you managed to pull yourself out, and seriously, good for you - but not everyone can do that.
When I was trying to explain to my mother about Zydala's depression, she reacted a lot with "oh, she should exercise more" and "oh, she should take vitamins" and that sort of - tbh - bullshit, it was upsetting to me, because it was presented as if Zydala just wasn't trying enough. She just didn't want to be happy enough. It was treated as if she was moping. This journal kind of feels the same.
Anyway, I completely agree that it's frustrating and upsetting for all parties when someone you're close to becomes withdrawn and depressed, but please consider that the problem may be deeper than you realize and you may not have the answers to their happiness.
I'm sorry if I came off sounding condescending, but I feel like tiptoeing around issues gets me nowhere, because I've always had to deal with people bluntly and rudely in order for them not to laugh at me and take it as a joke. I do not want you to be upset because of something I said, because you and Zydala are both such awesome people, but I can't pretend I feel someway I don't either.
I guess that was kinda long. Anyway, I take back anything I said that may have made it seem like it's a 'one size fits all' thing, but I still believe that people overall could be happier with a healthier lifestyle. Even people who are already happy.
I went through depression my junior year of high school (breaking up with a best friend and all sorts of other bullcrap) I would just go home and sit in the corner on my computer, eat, and sleep. That is ALL I did for months. It in no way was a "major" depression or anything, but I still hated everyone and didn't want to do anything ever.
It wasn't until the next school year that I realized that I DID have friends that loved me and wanted to be around me and that I wasn't worthless. It was this realization that made me stop eating horrible crap all the time and actually start going outside for long periods of time. I've lost all my "I HATE EVERYONE" weight, I am outside constantly, I'm going to my first choice college and I am not stuck in my hometown like many people I went to school with...and now I feel a lot better about everything.
You don't always need to be pumped full of meds to solve a problem. Yes sometimes you do for the more serious cases. (I have kind of sworn off meds as long as I can because the last time I was medicated for a "chemical imbalance" I developed crazy anxiety and was convinced people were trying to kill me and everyone I loved constantly) Just because it didn't work for me doesn't mean it doesn't work for other people. But some times people are completely capable of getting rid of their depression on their own.
I've been through major depression as well, the kind where you want to kill yourself, during high school while living with my shitty ass parents, mostly my stepdad, and that was one time when I don't think medicine or any sort of nutrition could have helped me out of despair, since once I left the situation I was much happier.
Being a guy in a female body is OK if you can accept that gender is far more between the ears than between the legs, and if you can find a partner that feels that way, too. An understanding partner makes a BIG BIG BIG difference.
Vitamin D is indeed an antidepressant, but the amount used to fortify foods is way smaller than what our ancestors got from sunlight, which was about 8,000 IU per day, averaged year round. Unfortunately, there isn't enough UVB during the winter to make much D, Fortunately, D is fat soluble so you body can store what you make during the summer. Or you can take 8,000 IU of D per day and save the wear and tear on your skin.
There are two types of omega 3 essential fatty acids in fish oil, EPA and DHA. The ratio isn't critical so long as you get 1 to 2 grams of each per day. DHA is an antidepressant that works by facilitating serotonergic neurotransmission and neurogenesis in the hippocampus, an ancient part of the brain where new nerves continue to be formed in adulthood.
Have you tried the dietary supplement 5-HTP? It is not a drug. It is a normal part of brain chemistry. It is the intermediary metabolite between the essential amino acid tryptophan and the neurotransmitter serotonin. Conversion of tryptophan to 5-HTP is the limiting factor on this pathway for everyone, and some people have a low activity mutated form of the enzyme that does this. They make great beserkers in battle, but tend to be easily pissed off and are more subject to depression. The problem with the SSRI drugs such as Prozac is that they do NOT help you to make more serotonin. They block serotonin reuptake - which increases the amount in the synapse temporarily - but make you more likely to run out because they block serotonin recycling and reuse. This is not a problem with 5-HTP since it is the immediate precursor for making more serotonin. It's available at many health food stores. Typical dose is about 100 mg. once or twice per day. My FTM partner uses it daily, and I take it when I'm stressed.
And being a male in a female body is difficult when you live in a upper-middle class conservative area where you don't get out enough to find a partner in the first place, nevermind an understanding one. Also being hit on by men makes me physically ill and extremely angry. Even winking at me makes me mad if I feel like it's 'hitting on' me. I can't very well avoid people misreading me because of my physical shape. I want to be treated like a guy. All the time. Which means not being hit on by other men, especially when I'm not interested in men.
Doesn't dressing like a guy help?
Also I eat tuna like mad. Does that help?
Also having child-bearing hips and size DDD boobs makes dressing like a man null and void. :C
I understand the problem about your DDDs. Lots of guys have fat buts, but DDDs are hard to hide.
http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0016885;jsessionid=8F81E7316E773759D1DACB7DC006CDEC.ambra02