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Narcotic
18 years ago
I have no idea what I'm doing so far. My life seems to be one and suddenly drops. I love and I hurt, I can't stop crying. I cried last night and I continue. It sheds and sheds, what do I do? I feel as though my lungs have disappeared. I feel like I can poke my insides with knives. I feel . . . .like the inside me has died. My thought process has crumbled to be that of an Adult. My teenage self, I have no idea where I've gone. I run to try and catch myself, I fail because I seem to be so out of reach. I hate this!~ I feel that there is nothing left me if half of me has died all ready. The outside me is so calm and quiet, sometimes angry and rude. I just want to smack myself and at times I do. I feel as though I deserve it somehow. I make the people close to me feel like dirt. I love them to the depths of my heart, but I don't want to hurt them with this me that I've become. So kill me please and let me die.
~{After 4th period today a person I care for grabbed my hand and pushed me close to him. He said he loved me and kissed me lovingly. He turned around and left me standing, he turned the corner and disappeared. What do I do now?}~
I want my problems to end. I wish people would stop caring.
My Quote for Tonight: Our achievements of today are but the sum total of our thoughts of yesterday. You are today where the thoughts of yesterday have brought you and you will be tomorrow where the thoughts of today take you. -Blaise Pascal 
LadyVivamus
~ladyvivamus
*hugs*
