Instead of just posting this as an outright submission or as a picture like I did the other poem, I'm going to put my thoughts her eon this one, as I'm not sure what to think. Most of my older poetry is depressive and colorless as I was going through a time in my life where I was surrounded by negativity and the pressures of growing up. I used writing as my outlet to get it all out. I have written down most of these in a green felt journal that I dated all of my entries and when I looked through it today, I saw a poem by the name "Fear".

I about cringed when I read over it. Now in all fairness, this was written in 2003 and I like to think that I've grown as a writer since then. Here is the Original...

Fear

Fear Swallows her body, she can't see a thing
Faces mock her terror, something is drawing near
The thickness of the night, draws in closer, chocking her
She gasps for air, shaking violently, her breath stolen
All is black, all is numb, all is cold
Fear has taken her soul

Ok... so now you understand... horrid isn't it? Now I have a much much better version I think, but still unsure about it...

Untitled (for now)

Alone, she wanders, a shadow lingers
Paranoid, she stumbles, immersed in gloom
Thick is the night, as phantoms lunge
Stolen is her breath, stifling a scream
Fruitless are her efforts, frozen in time
Her soul, once pure...
Consumed

Thoughts? Maybe? lol *crosses fingers for some comments*