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Rant/Getting things off my chest/school sucks
14 years ago
So here is where I stand at the moment. I'm taking 4 classes at UCF this semester and not doing all that great in any of them. I have been in college going on 5 years now and I still am far out of reach of my degree. Right now my classes are sucking up all my time, and I don't see it getting better for the next few semesters. I am spread too thin, I do the bear minimum in each class because that is all I can do at the moment. I'm doing poorly on tests and assignments because I don't have time to study; and when I do, I have about the same motivation and interest in studying as I would in chopping my own dick off. With my degree (applied mathematics) I can teach or if I sell myself really well I might be able to get an engineering job...or I could go for a masters or PhD and remain in school till the end of time.
In short, I'm sick of school.
I went to college because that is what my parents wanted me to do; except I didn’t know the first thing about college, how to go about applying, what I wanted to do when I got there, or even what I wanted to be when I grew up. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I took up mathematics because it was one of the few things I know little about, and that was only after changing my major from electrical engineering to simulation programming, to physics. I got a relatively mild amount of debt my first year and a half at DeVry, and the state have been taking can of tuition since I switched over to state colleges.
To be honest I see little benefit in finishing my degree. I have exactly zero experience in either teaching or engineering, and with no feasible way to get any by the time I finish. I don't know if I would like to do either of those jobs; there is a bit of appeal to both of them for me, but without any first hand experience I don't know if I would really like them. Other then that I would be crunching numbers and analyzing data, which definitely dose not appeal to me. I don't think grad school would be right for me. Then there is always the degree in hand and the only thing I can do with it is wipe my ass.
While school is not costing me too much financially, at the moment, it has taken its toll on me none the less. I work, go to school, sleep, do homework, eat, and fail at trying to relax. I fail at relaxing because when I do, I feel guilty that I'm not working on some assignment or studying. I'm scatter brained, more then usual; I constantly forget if I locked the door or turned off the lights, left a window open etc.. I'm not the neatest person on earth, but recently things has been falling into disarray; I'm embarrassed to have this much shit lying around. My social life has taken a nosedive, I have very few friends I talk to on a regular basis anymore; mostly because I don't have a whole lot to say, other then bitching about my life, which I don't like to do. I think I come off as an asshole, at least in my mind; but I honestly don't have the faintest idea what people think of me. If I have been an asshole, I'm sorry.
I guess I'm writing this just to get this shit off my chest. Been having tremendous doubts about school, and the fact I'm not doing well this semester is not helping.
If you have any comments, suggestions, helpful hints, words of encouragement, words of non-encouragement, four letter words, pounces, hugs, punches, swift kicks in the ass, stories, or morality tales feel free to share them.
-Fafner DeUrsine a.k.a. Jesse a.k.a. Guy who can balance stuff on his nose a.k.a. that photography guy a.k.a, Kujo a.k.a. Leviathan a.k.a. Other extremely obscure handle or nickname I used to go by.
In short, I'm sick of school.
I went to college because that is what my parents wanted me to do; except I didn’t know the first thing about college, how to go about applying, what I wanted to do when I got there, or even what I wanted to be when I grew up. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I took up mathematics because it was one of the few things I know little about, and that was only after changing my major from electrical engineering to simulation programming, to physics. I got a relatively mild amount of debt my first year and a half at DeVry, and the state have been taking can of tuition since I switched over to state colleges.
To be honest I see little benefit in finishing my degree. I have exactly zero experience in either teaching or engineering, and with no feasible way to get any by the time I finish. I don't know if I would like to do either of those jobs; there is a bit of appeal to both of them for me, but without any first hand experience I don't know if I would really like them. Other then that I would be crunching numbers and analyzing data, which definitely dose not appeal to me. I don't think grad school would be right for me. Then there is always the degree in hand and the only thing I can do with it is wipe my ass.
While school is not costing me too much financially, at the moment, it has taken its toll on me none the less. I work, go to school, sleep, do homework, eat, and fail at trying to relax. I fail at relaxing because when I do, I feel guilty that I'm not working on some assignment or studying. I'm scatter brained, more then usual; I constantly forget if I locked the door or turned off the lights, left a window open etc.. I'm not the neatest person on earth, but recently things has been falling into disarray; I'm embarrassed to have this much shit lying around. My social life has taken a nosedive, I have very few friends I talk to on a regular basis anymore; mostly because I don't have a whole lot to say, other then bitching about my life, which I don't like to do. I think I come off as an asshole, at least in my mind; but I honestly don't have the faintest idea what people think of me. If I have been an asshole, I'm sorry.
I guess I'm writing this just to get this shit off my chest. Been having tremendous doubts about school, and the fact I'm not doing well this semester is not helping.
If you have any comments, suggestions, helpful hints, words of encouragement, words of non-encouragement, four letter words, pounces, hugs, punches, swift kicks in the ass, stories, or morality tales feel free to share them.
-Fafner DeUrsine a.k.a. Jesse a.k.a. Guy who can balance stuff on his nose a.k.a. that photography guy a.k.a, Kujo a.k.a. Leviathan a.k.a. Other extremely obscure handle or nickname I used to go by.
